Negotiating for Career Success for Women Faculty

1. Negotiating for Career Success for Women Faculty Katherine L. Wisner, M.D., M.S. Norman and Helen Asher Professor of Psychiatry and Obstetrics and Gynecology Director, Asher Center for the Study and Treatment of Depressive Disorders

2. Negotiations: A Fact of Life

3. Advice I wish I had been given(or I painfully ignored!) • All interpersonal relationships involve Negotiation • Mentorship (for you and by you!) is critical • Network to develop Social Capital • Political awareness is essentially studying relationships within systems and negotiating your position within them • Accept the “right” invitations (most of the time); invitations are negotiations • Build Negotiation Skills • Read (not professional journals)

4. Ignore Politics at Your Peril • I just want to do my research, I don’t want to get into all that political stuff! • And the lone wolf dies on the tundra………… • What does your organization do? • Mission? What role do you play? What is your reason for participating? • Who needs to know that you are working hard? • Learn the graceful art of self promotion • Financial- know how dollars flow in your organization. What revenues do you bring in? How much do you cost? • Negotiate appropriate “invitations”!

5. Relationships are Dynamic Processes • Tensions arise in any relationship (when there is more than one person!) • Both parties will make mistakes during the relationship • Both parties must perceive benefit from the relationship or it will not continue • Less (overall) emotional drain if the problem addressed directly-- think of a smoldering problem in your world • Avoid the “splitting” (right vs. wrong) that occurs with anger- you can always find someone who agrees with you • Negotiation is a strategy to deal with inevitable conflict

6. Conflict • What is your typical reaction to conflict? • Why does conflict make you feel uncomfortable? • Are there any benefits to conflict? • Conflicts cannot always be resolved, but they can be managed • Negotiation is one way to manage conflict

7. Response Styles to ConflictThomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument REF=www.cpp.com/products/tki/index.aspx I.Concern with Problem Solving (Collaborating) Problem focused, creative, likes collaboration, seeks solutions that satisfy concerns of both sides II. Concern with Compromise Willing to split the difference, exchange concessions, seeks middle ground, focuses on fairness to both sides, doesn’t want to appear selfish III. Concern with Winning (Competing) Likes to take charge, control, win, claims value, may be impatient, enjoys being competitive IV. Concern with Avoiding Conflict Dislikes disputes, uncomfortable with disagreement, feels conflict is unproductive, withdraws and becomes detached V. Concern with Good Relationships (Accommodating) Sensitive to others’ feelings, wants to be liked, accommodating, fosters good relationships

8. Dual Concern Model REF=www.cpp.com/products/tki/index.aspx Competition Collaboration III I Concern with own interests Compromise II Avoidance Accomodation IV V Concern with other’s interests Cooperativeness Assertiveness

9. Negotiations are Context-Specific The context will determine which type of negotiation strategy you use; for example:\ Buy a car Cecide on a vacation site with your partner or family Discuss the startup package for your new position with your potential new boss

10. Managing Negotiations: What you can do • Take Stock • Take inventory of the skills and experience you bring to the table • Learn as Much as you Can • Get the facts, use objective criteria • Develop Alternatives • Don’t put all your eggs in one basket • Get Fresh Perspectives • Don’t get trapped in your own thinking • Role Play a repertoire of responses • Anticipate your negotiation partner’s position

11. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare • Know yourself • your aspirations, your reservation price, your Best Alternative to A Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) • what interests underlie your positions? • Know the person across the table • their aspirations, their reservation price, their BATNA • what interests underlie their positions? • Prioritize and expand your options • what issues are most important to you? • what other issues could be brought to the table? • consider acceptable trade-offs among options • brainstorm other ways to solve the problem • Apply objective standards • have facts and statistics to support your arguments • consider what a third party would judge as fair

12. Prepare Yourself Emotionally Possible Approaches to Any Problem: • Solve the problem • Change your emotional reaction to the problem • Tolerate the problem • Stay miserable

13. Mindfulness “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally” Kabat-Zinn, 1994, p.4 • Observing yourself with emotional response at bay • Awareness of two level communication process (content and meta-communication) • Nonjudgmental • Effectiveness • Choices for Emotion Regulation • Acting Opposite to Painful Emotions • When afraid, approach • When depressed, get active • When angry, gently avoid/be kind

14. Communication Style • Project confidence • Stand tall, firm handshake, speak with authority • There is a fine line between being assertive and being offensive • Part of being persuasive is being open to persuasion • Use affirmative language • Don’t use qualifiers • Statements prefaced with “I think” or “I believe” are weaker than stating your beliefs as facts. • Say “This is the problem” rather than “I think this is the problem” • Say “This approach will meet our needs; rather than “I believe that this approach will meet our needs” • Phyllis Mindell: “How to Say it For Executives”

15. Strategic Moves: Negotiations Gamesmanship • Be Aware of Incentives • The other party must be aware of what you bring to the table • Step up Pressure • Raise the costs of not dealing with you • Establish your Authority • Establish your credibility • Enlist Support • Coalitions and allies • Exert Control over the Process • Plant “seeds” behind the scenes to preempt rejection of your ideas • Be politically savvy

16. Resisting Challenges: More Gamesmanship • Interrupt the Move • Change the pace – halt negative momentum • Name the Move • Let them know you are aware of what they are doing • Correct the Move • Put a positive spin on your actions, rather than let their negative interpretation stand • Divert the Move • Divert the focus of attention from you to the problem

17. How do you evaluate your leverage in a negotiation situation? • Leverage is about situational advantage, not objective power • Leverage is a dynamic (rather than static) factor • Leverage increases with: • The other party’s needs • The availability of good alternatives (BATNA) • Controlling the status quo • Having time on your side • Your ability to make them see that they have something to lose from no deal

18. Take Aways • Negotiation is a central part of life – everywhere • To see negotiation as a possibility and meet the challenge can mean wins for you and your organization • Everyday negotiations take place on many levels. • Relationships themselves must be negotiated • The outcome of any negotiation is a function of the process you use to get there • Through mutual inquiry people learn from their negotiations and carry these lessons into the future

19. Quote (from the past?) • The day will come when man will recognize woman as his peer, not only at the fireside but in councils of the nation. Then, and not until then, will there be the perfect comradeship; the ideal union between the sexes, that shall result in the highest development of the race.

20. Quote (from the past?) • Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906)

21. Is it just that women are treated “unfairly” or are their other contributing factors? • Socialization and Gender Norms • “Boys labor for payment, girls labor for love”* • Women expect and accept less • Women compare themselves to other women, not men • The likeability factor • Women expect their strengths and contributions should be recognized and rewarded accordingly • But mostly…. * Virginia Valiant, 1998. Why so slow? The advancement of women, MIT Press

22. Women Don’t Ask* • An example of the cost of not asking • Suppose at age 22 a man and a woman each received a $25,000 job offer, the woman accepts it and the man negotiates for $30,000 • If each receives a 3% raise by the time they are 60 the man will be earning $92,243 per year, the woman $76,870. • If the man banked the difference in salary every year and invested it at 3% interest, by the time he is 60 he will have earned $568,834 more than the woman. *Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, 2003. Women Don’t Ask, Princeton Univ. Press

23. Why women don’t ask • Women often fail to achieve their goals because: • Opportunities for negotiation go unrecognized • Dislike of negotiation process • Seeing own weakness • Bargaining “down” • Confusion of toughness and effectiveness • Uncertainty about their value on the market • Caring more about relationships than personal gain, fear of damaging relationships • View the costs of negotiating as higher than the potential gains • Belief that negotiation = conflict

24. Hidden Agendas in Negotiation • Hidden agendas are often assumptions about: • The way women and men should behave The same behavior performed by a woman and a man may be interpreted differently • That women should always put relationships above their own self-interest • That women expect and will accept less Women also often accept these assumptions *From Deborah Kolb and Judith Williams, “Everyday Negotiation”

25. Must Read List • Aamc.org (academic development, Academic Physician and Scientist) • Getting to Yes (Like it or not, you are a negotiator! Fisher and Ury) • Hardball for Women: Winning at the Game of Business (Heim and Golant) • Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide (Babcock and Laschever) • How to Say it for Executives: The Complete Guide to Communication for Leaders (Phyllis Mindell) • Becoming a Conflict Competent Leader: How You and Your Organization Can Manage Conflict Effectively. by Craig E. Runde and Tim A. Flanagan • Beyond the Myth of the Perfect Mentor: Building a Network of Developmental Relationships. Linda Hill and Nancy Kamprath, document 9-491-096 www.hbsp.harvard.edu

26. Discussion Wishing you Resilience and Success in Your Career Journey!