An Integrated English Course Book 2

An Integrated English Course Book 2 Unit Sixteen

Learning Objectives • By the end of this unit, you are supposed to • understand the main idea, structure of the text and the author’s writing style • master the key language points and grammatical structures in the text • consider the significance of “forgiveness” in social interactions

Teaching Procedure Pre-reading Questions Text I. Open the Door to Forgiveness ● Passage ● Structure analysis ● Main idea of the passage ● Language points ● sentence studies ● vocabulary studies Text II. Forgiveness

Pre-reading • Have you ever tried to forgive someone who hurt you in some way? • How do you interpret the ancient phrase “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”?

Text I. Open the Door to Forgiveness It’s surgery of the soul, the loving, healing way to create new beginning out of past pain. Someone hurt you, maybe yesterday, maybe long ago, and you cannot forget it. You did not deserve the hurt and it has lodged itself in your memory, where it keeps on hurting. You are not alone. We all muddle our way through a world where even well-meaning people hurt one another. A friend betrays us; a parent abuses us; a spouse leaves us. Philosopher Hannah Arendt believes that the only power that can stop the stream of painful memories is the “faculty of forgiving”. In that spirit, one December day in 1983, Pope John Paul II walked into a cell of Rebibbia prison outside Rome to meet Mehmet Ali Agca. The Pope took the hand of the man who had tried to kill him, and forgave him.

For most of us, however, it is not easy to forgive. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us that people should pay for the wrong they do. But in forgiving we can move from hurting and hating to healing and reconciliation. Hate is our natural response to deep and unfair hurts. A woman wishes her former husband would be miserable with his new wife. A man whose friend has betrayed him hopes the friend will be fired from his job. Hate is a malignancy that festers and grows, stifling joy and threatening our health. It hurts the hater more than the hated. It must be cut out – for our own sake. How can this be done? How can you let go of a hurt, the way a child opens his hands and frees a trapped butterfly? Here are guidelines to help you begin to forgive; Confront your malice. None of us wants to admit that we hate someone, so we hide it from ourselves. But the fury denied rages beneath the surface and infects all our relationships. Admitting our hate compels us to make a decision about the surgery of the soul we call forgiving. We must acknowledge what has happened, face up to the other person and say: “You did me wrong.”

Liz was an assistant professor of biology at a university in California. She was a good teacher, and the chairman of her department promised to ask the dean to promote her. Instead, his report was so critical of her performance that the dean advised her to look for another job. Liz hated the chairman for betraying her, but she needed a recommendation from him. When he said how sorry he was that his support could not convince the dean, she pretended to believe him. But she could not keep up the duplicity. One day she confronted him. His embarrassed denial enabled Liz to see him for the weak person he was. She began to feel the power she needed to forgive him and, in her decision to do so, was set free of her hate. Separatethe wrongdoer from the wrong. The Bible describes, in the ancient drama of atonement, how God took a bundle of human sins off man’s back, tied it to a goat, and sent the “scapegoat” to a “solitary land”. Forgiving is finding a new vision of the person who has wronged us, the person stripped of his sins-who really lives beneath the cloak of his wrongdoing. The first gift we get when we separate the wrong from the wrongdoer is insight. As we come to see the deeper truth about people – that they are fallible – our feelings change. At 16 my adopted daughter, Cathy, was a hothead who bitterly resented her natural mother for giving her away. Why had she not been worth keeping? Then she found out that her parents had been very young and poor and not married.

About this time, one of Cathy’s friends became pregnant and, in fear and doubt, gave up her baby for adoption. Cathy shared her fried’s conflict, and was sure her decision had been right. Gradually she came to feel that her own mother, too, had done the right thing – she had given her baby away because she loved her too much to keep her. Cathy’s new understanding brought her resentment down to forgiving size. Let go of the past. A friend of mine, a beautiful actress, was left crippled by a car accident a few years ago. Her husband stayed with her until she had partially recovered. Then, coldly, he left her. She could have mortgaged her future to hate. Instead, she forgave her husband and wished him well. I was skeptical. “Suppose he married a sexy young starlet. Would you wish him to be happy with her?” “Yes, I would,” she answered. This does not mean my friend has entirely forgotten the hurt. In fact, forgetting too soon may be a dangerous way to escape forgiving’s inner surgery. Once we have forgiven, however, forgetting is a sign of health. We can forget, eventually, because we are healed.

Don’t give up on forgiveness – keep working at it. As a boy, the British scholar C. S. Lewis was badly hurt by a bully of a teacher. For most of his life he could not forgive the teacher and this troubled him. But not long before he died, he wrote to a friend: “Only a few weeks ago, I realized suddenly that I had at last forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my childhood. I’d been trying to do it for years, and each time I thought I’d done it, I found it had to be attempted again. But this time I feel sure it is the real thing.” The hate habit is hard to break. We usually break it many times before we finally get rid of it. And the deeper the hurt, the longer it can take. But slowly it happens. Persuasive arguments have been made against forgiving. Some say that forgiveness is unjust because the wrongdoer should not be let off thehook. Others say forgiveness is a sign of weakness. Bernard Shaw called it “a beggar’s refuge”. I disagree. Vengeance never evens the score. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an endless escalator of retaliation. Gandhi was right: If we all live by the “eye for an eye” brand of justice, the whole world will be blind. Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr said after World War II: “We must finally be reconciled with our foe, lest we both perish in the viciouscircle of hatred.” Forgiveness breaks the grip that past wrong and pain have on our minds.

To understand forgiveness, we should keep in mind that we are seldom merely sinned against. You may contribute to your spouse’s infidelity by ignoring your partner’s needs and desires, or bring on your children’s rebellion by your cold judgments and hot temper. A man I’ll call Mark thought of his wife, Karen, as domineering; himself as ineffective and timid. One night at a party, Karen laughingly called Mark a mama’s boy who had never grown up. When they got home Mark shouted: “I will never forgive you for this!” His rage was a cover for the weakness he dared not face. Through her own contrition, Karen learned that she herself was weak and afraid. Her toughness had been a way to keep her secret demons under control. When she found the courage to reveal her needs to Mark, he became strong enough to drop his mask of anger. In mutual forgiveness, they creatively combined their weaknesses and strengths to forge a far healthier relationship without illusions. When we forgive, we come as close as any human can to the essentially divine act of creation. We heal the hurt and create a new beginning out of past pain. (1, 322words)

Text Analysis Paragraphs 1-2 The first two paragraphs serve as an introduction, in which the author mentions the tendency of people hurting each other. Discuss about the following question: What does the author mean by saying “We all muddle our way through a world…”?

Main Idea of the passage Forget the hurt by others is not easy and try to forgive others calls for great courage. But it is by forgiving that we can move from hurting and hating to healing and reconciliation.

The sentence means that “we all could make some silly mistakes due to our carelessness or because we are in some confusing state.” This sentence is closely related with the previous one, because the author switches “you” in the previous sentence and paragraph to “we”. This change is necessary, because “you” refers to the reader in particular, while “we” includes the reader, the author and other people in general. Thus the switch confirms the statement: “You are not alone.” LANGUAGE POINTS • Heal – to make healthy again E.g.This cream is used for healing minor cuts and bruises. The seawater is now polluted. It would infect rather than heal an open wound

abuse – to say unkind or rude things to E.g.An angry passenger abused the station manager for the late running of the train. Paragraph 3 • The author proposes the right approach to the matter by quoting a philosopher’s words and giving the example of Pope John Paul II. • 1) “faculty of forgiving” the ability to forgive. • 2) “Pope John Paul II walked into a cell…” the episode refers to Pope John Paul II’s visit to the prison where his assassinator, Mehmet Ali Agca, was jailed. The Pope survived his assassination attempt but was seriously wounded in 1981.

Paragraphs 4-5 In these two paragraphs the author comments on our reactions to “deep and unfair hurts” from two perspectives. He first admits that it is not easy to forgive, but he points out the true merit of forgiveness. While he acknowledges that “our natural response” is hate, he reminds us of its detrimental effects. Thus the author drives home his point that forgiveness is a more sensible choice. Discuss about the following question: How does the author comment on forgiveness and hate?

The author admits that “… it is not easy to forgive. Forgiving seems almost unnatural”, “Our sense of fairness tells us…” and “Hate is our natural response…” However, he believes that forgiveness brings about healing and reconciliation while hate only darkens our life and affects our health. LANGUAGE POINTS • pay for –to receive punishment or suffering for something E.g.I’ve spent the last three years in jail. I tell you, I’ve paid for what I did.

Paragraph 6 This paragraph functions as a transitional paragraph that leads to the author’s suggestions. Discuss about the following question: What does the author mean by saying “the way a child open his hands and frees a trapped butterfly”?

By comparing cutting out hate to freeing a trapped butterfly, the author implies that forgiveness would not be that difficult if you follow his guidelines. Paragraphs 7-9 In these paragraphs the author puts forward the first guideline exemplified by Liz’s case. 1) “surgery of the soul” healing the wound, putting the mind at peace. 2) “But she could not keep up the duplicity.” She did not want to cheat herself any longer by hiding her hate. 3) “One day she confronted him.” One day she produced evidence and accused him of his wrong. The phrase “confront somebody” here means: meet somebody and present facts or evidence in order to accuse him.

Discuss about the following questions: 1) What is the first problem in our attempt to achieve forgiveness? 2) What can be learnt from Liz’s case?

1) The first problem is that we usually do not admit that we hate someone who has hurt us. 2) Liz’s case indicates that facing up to the wrongdoer and admitting your hate gives you power to forgive, and consequently you are freed from the hate. LANGUAGE POINTS • malice –intention to hurt someone E.g.There was no malice in his word, just disappointment.

infect –to make (someone else) have feelings of the same type E.g. His optimism infected us all in those days of great difficulty. • be critical of –to criticize someone or something severely E.g. The article is highly critical of the policies towards Central America. Paragraphs 10-12 These three paragraphs make up the second guideline for forgiveness.

1) “The Bible describes, in the ancient drama of atonement…” This is an episode from Leviticus 16, Old Testament. In this episode Moses’s brother Aaron takes two goats and presents them before the Lord at the entrance to the Tent of Meeting (also called the Most Holy Place) to make atonement for himself, his household and the whole community of Israel. He is to lay both hands on the head of one live goat and confess over it all the wickedness and rebellion of the Israelites-all their sins-and put them on the goat’s head. The Lord shall send the goat away into the desert in the care of a man appointed for the task. The goat will carry on itself all their sins to a solitary place; and the man shall release it in the desert. 2) “her natural mother” her biological mother. Here it refers to the mother who gave birth to Cathy.

Discuss about the following question: • What can we learn from the case of the author’s adopted daughter?

Cathy’s case proves the author’s suggested guideline. Separate the wrong from the wrongdoer would enable you to get a new and true understanding of the person. Then you come to be aware that he/she is, after all, a human being and is as fallible as yourself. LANGUAGE POINTS • insight –the power of using one’s mind to understand the true nature of a situation E.g. She has a real insight into the way people subconsciously seek to justify their actions.

Paragraphs 13-16 Discussed in these four paragraphs is the third guideline . Discuss about the following question: How does the author understand the guideline “Let go of the past” in relation with forgiveness?

The author thinks that if we have forgiven somebody, we can forget the past and eventually heal our wound. But it could be dangerous to forget before we forgive, because the “inner surgery” has not been done yet, and the wound is still there hurting us. Paragraphs 17-18 These two paragraphs are about the last guideline — don’t give up on forgiveness because it calls for determination and continual effort. 1) “a bully of a teacher” a teacher who was a bully, a person who uses his strength or power to hurt or frighten others. This structure is often used in written English. Similar expressions include:

a beast of a husband (=a beastly husband), a slip of a girl (a small thin young girl). Notice that the indefinite article “a ” is used in front of both nouns. 2) … who so darkened my childhood. Who made my childhood so miserable. Discuss about the following question: What does C. S. Lewis’s example indicate?

The example indicates that true forgiveness takes a long time. Sometimes you think you have done it while you haven’t. You have to keep working at it and make it happen. Paragraphs 19-20 The author first cites a seemingly sound argument in Paragraph 19— “the wrongdoer should not be let off the hook”, but he is in fact setting a target for his own counter-argument in the subsequent paragraph— “It ties both the injured and the injurer to an endless escalator of retaliation.” 1) “… the wrongdoer should not be let off the hook.” We should not let go of the wrongdoer without punishing him. 2) “a beggar’s refuge” a pitiable excuse that is used to hide one’s weakness. 3) “eye for an eye” revenge; the original expression is “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” which means that those who have hurt others must be hurt in the same way. A similar expression is “give tit for tat”. 4) “brand of justice” mode of justice.

LANGUAGE POINTS • reconcile – to bring back friendly relations between E.g. They quarreled, but now they’ve completely reconciled. Paragraphs 21-22 In these paragraphs the author points out that we often do wrong to others without being aware of it and that the wrong done to us is therefore often their reaction to what we have done to them.

This is the concluding paragraph, in which the author reiterates his view that forgiveness can “heal the hurt and create a new beginning”. “divine act of creation” noble act of moving into a new phase of life.

Text II. Forgiveness Frederic Luskin, Ph. D. The process of forgiveness can be a liberating experience. One that if practiced proactively can lead to a wonderful experience of life. Interestingly, forgiveness can only occur because we have been given the gift of the ability to make choices. We have the choice to forgive or not to forgive and no one can force us to do either. Conversely, if we want to forgive someone, no one can stop us not matter how poorly they may act. This ability to forgive is a manifestation of the personal control we have over our lives. It is nice to reflect upon and feel the respect that we have been given to be able to make such profound choices.

Compellingly, the option to forgive also implies that we had discretion as to whether or not we took offense in the first place. While forgiving may be a difficult enough choice for many of us, imagine how our lives would if we rarely or never used our power of choice to take offense. Since we have choice, wouldn’t it make sense to limit the number of times we are hurt or offended so that the need to forgive rarely if ever arises? The ability to live life without taking offense, without giving blame, and by offering forgiveness are choices that offer a life of great peace. The ability to offer proactive forgiveness proceeds along four steps. At step one you are filled with self justified anger. At some point in your life you have been hurt and you are mad at the person you feel wronged you. You blame the person committing the wrong for how you are feeling. It is their action and not your choice of response that you feel is the cause of your anger. You have forgotten that you have a choice as to how you will react, or are so angry that you are convinced that it would not be right to forgive the offense. At this stage there is usually both active and submerged anger.

The second step towards forgiveness emerges when after feeling angry with someone for a while you realize that the anger does not do good to you. It may be hurting your emotional balance or your physical health. Or you wish to repair the damage to the relationship. So you take steps to forgive. You may begin to see the problem from the other person’s point of view or you may simply decide to let the problem go. In either case after an extended period of time you are no longer angry and you have forgiven the person with whom you were angry. This process can be applied to anger at oneself, another person or to life in general. The third stage of forgiveness comes after you have seen the beneficial results of forgiveness and you choose to let go of your anger fairly quickly. In this stage the choice is to feel the hurt for a short period of time, and then work to either repair the relationship or let go seeing the situation as a problem. In either case you decide to forgive because you have had some practice with it and see the benefit in your life. This could emerge in as simple a situation as being cut off by another car on the expressway or in complex situation like an affair in a marriage. At this stage you are aware that length of time you experience the situation as a grievance is primarily up to you.

The fourth stage of forgiveness involves the proactive choice to rarely if ever get angry. This means often to forgive in advance of a specific trigger. This stage often emerges at the same time as some or all of the following thoughts: I don’t want to waste my precious life in the discomfort caused by anger so I will choose to feel differently. I am able to forgive myself, forgive others, forgive life, and forgive God. I know how it hurts when people don’t forgive me. I do not want to hurt other people by my anger so I will let it go. Life is filled with incredible beauty and I am missing some if I am experiencing unresolved anger. I forgive myself for getting sidetracked. People do the best they can and if they err I can best help them by offering understanding. The first step in this process is to forgive the specific offense. Everyone, including myself, operates primarily out of self-interest. I must expect that sometimes I, in my self-interest, will be annoyed by someone else’s expression of their self-interest. If I can understand that this is an ordinary part of life, what is there to be upset about? If I understand that self-interest is the way that I be-have, how can I but offer forgiveness to everyone, including myself, for behaving that way?

These four stages of forgiveness will not be followed in the same way by all people and in all relationships. There are some people for whom we feel such love that we are almost always at stage four: open-hearted and ready to forgive. There are other people for whom we feel so egregiously hurt and our well of goodwill for them is so dry that we can spend years at stage one. What is critical to remember is the power of personal choice and the importance of exercising that choice to forgive so that we can bring peace and healing into our relationships and ourselves. (940 words)

Notes for Text II Frederic Luskin：A clinical science researcher associate at the Stanford university School of Medicine, where he teaches people ways to manage their stress and to live lives of great satisfaction. He does this to reduce their risk of cardiovascular disease and to help their bodies maintain health and well-being. His works include Forgive for Good and The Art and Science of Forgiveness. … if ever: if on any (other) occasion e.g. if ever I offended you, it was entirely unintentional. … proactive forgiveness: awareness of forgiveness before the actual process of forgiving. Back to the text

Self-justified anger: you thin you have every reason to be angry. Active and submerged anger: suppressed anger that is causing you to react. … let go of seeing the situation as a problem: stop seeing the situation as a problem. …to forgive in advance of a specific trigger: to forgive before a person initiates an action. I forgive myself for getting sidetracked. I forgive myself for getting diverted. …how can I but offer forgiveness to everyone getting sidetracked: I can do nothing but offer forgiveness to everyone. …our well of goodwill for them is so dry that we can spend years at stage one. Here ‘well’ is a metaphor , meaning a source of abundant supply. Back to the text

An Integrated English Course Book 2