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Interpersonal Conflict Management. Conflict Management Center Program on the Advancement of Research on Conflict and Collaboration (PARCC). Agenda. Introduction Conflict Exercise: Shuffle the Deck Definition of Conflict Conflict Escalation and De-Escalation Reflective Listening Exercises

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Interpersonal Conflict Management

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Interpersonal Conflict Management

Conflict Management Center

Program on the Advancement of Research on Conflict and Collaboration (PARCC)


Agenda

  • Introduction

  • Conflict Exercise: Shuffle the Deck

  • Definition of Conflict

  • Conflict Escalation and De-Escalation

  • Reflective Listening Exercises

  • Position vs. Interests

  • Wrap up


Ground Rules

  • Confidentiality

  • Suspend judgment

  • All responsible for learning

  • Real life issues

  • Safe to make mistakes

  • Cell phones silent


Shuffle the Deck

  • Write a brief interpersonal conflict situation you are willing to share on an index card. Cards are then gathered, shuffled, and re-distributed within the group.

  • Make sure not to write your names on cards

  • Each person in the group introduces themselves then reads aloud from the card they is dealt and the group talk about the possible outcomes of the conflict.


Interpersonal Conflict...

  • … is an expressed struggle,

  • between two or more parties,

  • that are interdependent,

  • involving strong emotion,

  • and a perceived blockage to needs and/or values.

    (N. Katz)


Escalation Role Play

  • Be a ‘fly on the wall’ for the conflict that’s about to be portrayed.

  • Take note of how the conflict escalates- both verbally and nonverbally- what happens?


Skills for De-escalating conflict

  • Reflective Listening*

    • Based on work of Carl Rogers (1951) and Thomas Gordon (1970) who coined term ‘active listening’

      *Source: Rautalinko and Lisper, 2005


Reflective Listening:

  • A special type of listening that involves paying respectful attention to the content and feelings of another’s communication, hearing and understanding, and then letting the other know that he/she is being heard and understood

  • It is a process of “checking in” to ensure understanding

    Source: Neil Katz


De-escalating role play

  • Let’s revisit our initial escalating conflict. . . what’s different this time?


Reflective Listening requires two steps:

1)Hear and understand what the other is saying through his/her words and body language.

2)Reflect (express) the thoughts and feelings heard through your own words, tone of voice, posture, and gestures so that the other knows that he/she is heard and understood.

Example: You’re feeling ________ about/when/because _______


Reflective Listening Exercises

  • Roommate problems

  • Pass the Pen


The Challenge of Identifying Interests

Positions

“Why?”

Interests


Positions versus Interests

  • Position

    - What you decided you want in a particular situation

    - A specific solution

  • Interests (often rooted in human needs)

    - What caused you to decide

    - The specific needs in a situation which caused you to take a particular position or come to a particular position.


Interest Inquiry

  • to identify interests

    - What will having that (the position) do for you ?

    - How will things change if you get your position?

  • to brainstorm options

    - What are the possible options that will meet the interests?

  • to evaluate options

    - What is a good way of doing that?

    - Will that option identify all of the needs/interests?


Thank you for your participation and attention!


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