Interpersonal Attraction: From First Impressions to Close Relationships Chapter 10

1. Interpersonal Attraction: From First Impressions to Close Relationships Chapter 10 “Try to reason about love, and you will lose your reason.” – French proverb

2. The Person Next Door: The Propinquity Effect Propinquity Effect One of the simplest determinants of interpersonal attraction is proximity (sometimes called propinquity).

3. Functional distance Refers to certain aspects of architectural design that make it more likely that some people will come into contact with each other more often than with others. Mere Exposure Effect The finding that the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it.

4. Similarity That “fuel” is similarity—a match between our interests, attitudes, values, background, or personality and those of another person.

5. Opinions and Personality

6. Interpersonal Style We are attracted to people with interpersonal style & communication skills similar to our own.

7. Interests and Experiences The situations that you choose to be in are, by definition, populated by people who have chosen them for similar reasons.

8. Reciprocal Liking • Just knowing that someone likes us fuels our attraction to the person. • Reciprocal liking sometimes happens because of a self-fulfilling prophecy: • When we expect people to like us, we elicit more favorable behavior from them and show more to them.

9. Physical Attractiveness and Liking • People from different cultures perceive facial attractiveness quite similarly. • “what is beautiful is good” stereotype -

10. The Power of Familiarity The crucial variable that explains interpersonal attraction may be simple familiarity.

11. Assumptions about Attractive People Many studies have found that physical attractiveness affects the attributions people make about the attractive.

12. Theories of Interpersonal Attraction: Social Exchange and Equity Social Exchange Theory The idea that people’s feelings about a relationship depend on perceptions of rewards and costs, the kind of relationship they deserve, and their chances for having a better relationship with someone else. Equity Theory The idea that people are happiest with relationships in which rewards and costs experienced and both parties’ contributions are roughly equal.

13. Social Exchange Theory Social exchange theory holds that how people feel (positively or negatively) about their relationships will depend on: • Their perception of the rewards they receive from the relationship, (2) Their perception of the costs they incur, and (3) Their perception of what kind of relationship they deserve and the probability that they could have a better relationship with someone else.

14. Social Exchange Theory Comparison Level People’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they are likely to receive in a particular relationship. Comparison Level for Alternatives People’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they would receive in an alternative relationship.

15. Equity Theory Proponents of equity theory describe equitable relationships as the happiest and most stable. In comparison, inequitable relationships result in one person feeling: • Overbenefited • Underbenefited

16. Defining Love Companionate Love The intimacy and affection we feel when we care deeply for a person but do not experience passion or arousal in the person’s presence.

17. Passionate Love An intense longing we feel for a person, accompanied by physiological arousal; when our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, but when it is not, we feel sadness and despair.

18. Love and Relationships • Are the causes of love similar to the causes of initial attraction?

19. Evolution and Love: Choosing a Mate Evolutionary Approach to Love A theory derived from evolutionary biology that holds that men and women are attracted to different characteristics in each other (men are attracted by women’s appearance; women are attracted by men’s resources) because this maximizes their chances of reproductive success.

20. Attachment Styles in Intimate Relationships Attachment Styles The expectations people develop about relationships with others, based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants. Secure Attachment Style

21. Attachment Styles in Intimate Relationships Avoidant Attachment Style An attachment style characterized by a suppression of attachment needs, because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed; people with this style find it difficult to develop intimate relationships. Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment Style An attachment style characterized by a concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy, resulting in higher-than-average levels of anxiety.

22. Social Exchange in Long-Term Relationships • Couples were found to focus more on rewards during the first months of their relationships. • If the relationships were perceived as offering a lot of rewards, the people reported feeling happy and satisfied. The perception of rewards continued to be important over time.

23. Investment Model The theory that people’s commitment to a relationship depends not only on their satisfaction with the relationship in terms of rewards, costs, and comparison level and their comparison level for alternatives but also on how much they have invested in the relationship that would be lost by leaving it.

24. Exchange & Communal Relationships Exchange Relationships Communal Relationships

25. Ending Intimate Relationships The current American divorce rate is nearly 50% of the current marriage rate and has been for the past two decades.

26. The Process of Breaking Up Destructive behaviors Constructive behaviors