Conflict Resolution

1. Conflict Resolution Dangerous Opportunity

2. Source of Information for this presentation

3. Opening Exercise Jot down a conflict in your life right now that concerns you, preoccupies you, or causes you to lose sleep at night. If this conflict were resolved, what would it get you?

4. Discussion Question: What do we know about conflict?

5. “. . . conflict is inevitably associated with creativity. Without conflict there is no personal change or social progress.

6. On the other hand, runaway conflict (as in modern war) can destroy what men intended to save by it. Conflict management then becomes crucially important.

7. This involves accepting or even encouraging such conflict as is necessary, but at the same time doing everything possible to keep it to the minimum essential to change, to confine it to the least destructive forms, and to resolve it as rapidly and constructively as possible.” Harvey Seifert, social scientist, and Howard Clinebell, Jr., pastoral counselor

8. Conflict is unavoidable. “Differences in opinions, values, desires, needs, and habits are the stuff of daily living.” Bolton Have you watched TV lately?

9. Conflict is disruptive and/or destructive. “I hate conflict. I wish I could find a healthy way to avoid it or transcend it. But there is no such path.” Bolton

10. Conflict: is difficult to control. has a tendency to expand. often becomes detached from its initial causes and may continue after these have become irrelevant or have long been forgotten. frequently escalates until it consumes all the things and people it touches.

11. The Benefits of Conflict Dangerous Opportunity Can foster intimacy. “. . . love only endures when dissension is faced openly.” Bolton Can aid the development of children Can encourage personal and intellectual growth Can prevent stagnation, stimulate interest and curiosity, and foster creativity. Can spur technological development Can help create and renew our social, religious, political, and business organizations

12. IF. . . it is handled skillfully. Minimize risks. Maximize benefits.

13. Realistic and Nonrealistic Conflict

14. Realistic Conflict Opposed: needs goals means values interests

15. Unrealistic Conflict Stems from: ignorance error historical tradition and prejudice dysfunctional organizational structure win/lose types of competition, hostility, or the need for tension release

16. Realistic conflict can be faced and resolved using methods designed for win/win outcomes. Unrealistic conflict often creates unwarranted tension between people and can cause much unnecessary destruction. It can be prevented or controlled.

17. Personal Conflict Prevention and Control Methods

18. Personal Strategies Remove roadblocks Reflective listening Assertion skills Awareness of behaviors likely to start needless conflict, e.g., using certain words. Reciprocal “dumping.” Taking turns. Increased emotional support Heightened tolerance and acceptance of others

19. Issues control Establish procedures for handling disputes rather than dealing immediately with substantive issues. Deal with one issue at a time. Break issues down into smaller parts rather than deal with an enormous problem with many parts. Start with the issues most easily resolved 1st. Eventually, get down to the basic issues. “Will the real problem please stand up?”

20. Define the dispute in terms that do not pit the principles of one person against the principles of another. Define the problem in terms of needs. Find out how your needs and the needs of the other can be satisfied. Pick your battles. Analyze the full range of consequences and costs of a conflict.

21. Organizational Strategies Structure Eugene Litwak claims that the potential for conflict tends to be greater in centralized, bureaucratic organizations than in organizations where there is less centralized control.

22. Leadership The personality and methods of the leader are important. It helps for a leader to be supportive, charismatic, possess good communication skills, and have a low level of defensiveness.

23. Climate Research evidence suggests that win/lose competition fosters needless conflict and diminishes the ability to resolve disputes effectively. Cooperating to achieve goals that could not be accomplished without joint effort promotes more genuine harmony.

24. Well-conceived policies and procedures which have the understanding and support of the relevant persons create orderly processes which can help to mitigate unnecessary chaos and conflict.

25. The degree of change and the methods by which change is introduced influences the amount and severity of disputes in that institution. Too rapid a change, or change with inadequate methods of communication, can create significant and needless conflict.

26. Mechanisms to settle grievances need to be established. Training for conflict management is necessary both for the prevention of needless conflict and for the resolution of the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship or organization.

27. “Emotional Plague”Psychotherapist Wilhelm Reich The source of much unnecessary conflict. The affliction of people who behave in destructive ways to those who pose no threat to them. Attractive, intelligent, and active Block or destroy the other’s fulfillment Difficult to or even impossible to spot at first.

28. What to do about “emotional plague” Isolation Do not hire them. When these persons are finally discovered, they need to be fired by the organization or decisively terminated from personal relationships.

29. The Dangers of Conflict Prevention and Control Waiting too long Misuse of the strategies Denial Avoidance Capitulation Domination

30. Outcomes Win/Lose aggressive Lose/Win submissive Lose/Lose domineering, mean- spirited, sabotage Win/Win assertive No one is “x”ed out.

31. HANDLING THE EMOTIONALCOMPONENTS OF CONFLICT The point here is that, while my emotions are throbbing with these fears, angers and self-defensive urges, I am in no condition to have an open-minded, honest and loving discussion with you or with anyone else. I will need…emotional clearance and ventilation…before I will be ready for this discussion. --John Powell, Theologian

32. The Conflict Resolution Method Ground Rules Step 1: Treat the other person with respect. Step 2: Listen until you experience the other side. Step 3: State your views, needs, and feelings.

33. Mediation Collaborative problem-solving Counseling/consultation Personal transitions Crisis Prevention intervention ( CPi) training Other Conflict Resolution Strategies

34. Mediation Steps Identify & clarify issues Discuss needs/goals of each side Brainstorm solutions Look for common ground, and select best resolutions Negotiate agreement Make a commitment to the agreement Follow-up & evaluate progress

35. Collaborative Problem-Solving Step 1: Define the problem in terms of needs. Message: Your needs are important; you are important.I am important enough to have my needs expressed and heard, too. We can understand one another’s needs.

36. Step 2: Brainstorm possible solutions. Message: I value your creative thinking and mine and believe that, together, we can be even more creative in dealing with our common problem.

37. Step 3: Select the solutions that will meet both (all) parties needs – check possible consequences. Message: I want you to have your needs satisfied.I want my needs satisfied, and I won’t accept either one of us denying our uniqueness.

38. Step 4: Plan who will do what, where, and by when. Message: You and I are willing to make joint decisions and coordinated plans to assist each other in getting our needs met.

39. Step 5: Implement the plan. Message: You and I have the power to change our behaviors in ways that can enhance our lives and improve our relationship. Our commitment to our agreement is expressed in action as well as words.

40. Step 6: Evaluate the process and the solution. Message: You and I want to continually improve the way we solve problems. We will discuss our feelings about this interaction. We are not locked in to any solution, policy, or program. If our decision is not as good as we had hoped, we have the power to remake it – better.

41. A Lesson from Ten Bears Scenes from Dances with Wolves

42. Resources for You Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning (CETL) – Jackye Thomas, Patrick Barlow (director), Employee Development Consultants Human Resources Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Your Union

43. Bringing people together on issues that set them apart

44. Thank you for attending Convocation October 24, 2007 Presenter: Jackye Thomas jhthomas@matcmadison.edu 608.246.6044

45. “Tension and Release” Band: Twilight Broadcast music and lyrics by Drew Thomas http://www.myspace.com/twilightbroadcast