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Therapy For Gay, Bisexual, And Questioning Men

Providing therapy for gay, bisexual, and questioning men online and in Barrie and Toronto. Call now if you're ready to love and accept yourself shamelessly! https://frankkewin.org/therapy-for-gay-bisexual-and-questioning-men/

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Therapy For Gay, Bisexual, And Questioning Men

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  1. Therapy For Gay, Bisexual, & Questioning Men

  2. “Mom, Dad… I need to tell you something.” After a long, awkward silence, they reply: “It’s okay. You’re our son, and we love you. But are you sure? I mean… you’re only 28. How can you be sure? If you are, it’s okay. Don’t get us wrong: We love you, and we’ll support you. This is a private matter, and your secret is safe with us!” To which you reply, “But, guys, I don’t want it to be a secret. Can’t you get that?” “Of course, yes, of course…” they reply, “We didn’t mean a secret –it’s just that not everyone is as open as we are and, well, you know how some of the family are. We don’t want you to be hurt by their reactions.

  3. Can you imagine that conversation going this way? “It’s okay… there’s nothing to worry about. I mean… you may already have figured it out. I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to come out with it: I’M STRAIGHT.” There’s a long, awkward silence as you take in the look of shock – maybe even horror or disgust. Mom cries, and dad comforts her: “Look what you’ve done to your mother. How could you do this to her? To us??”

  4. Getting shut down by internalized shame… That first flutter of the heart – that first impulse to take a boy’s hand that draws us into the wonderous and altogether new world of romantic and sexual love – can be shut down by internalized shame. There can be a sense that we are “wrong”… that this is dangerous… that we risk rejection, exclusion, isolation, and loneliness. That, in turn, can drive us into repression or secret lives that are compartmentalized.

  5. Who and where are your guides and mentors? You know… for becoming a loving, integrated, sexual person when your heart and body are drawn to men? Where are the family rituals, religious celebrations, cultural acknowledgments, and political affirmations of our rites of passage from adolescent longings to mature adult lives as sexual men? It is not just the absence of these rituals that can wound us so subtly and deeply. It’s also the overt aggressions and rejections of elements of the dominant culture that can make us feel so utterly sad, hopeless, and alone. Even worse, we can swallow the belief that we are unworthy of the kinds of heterosexual lives we see championed and celebrated around us.

  6. Silence + Secrecy + Judgment = “HomoShame” HomoShame. It’s a thing. And internalized HomoShame? It’s a damn thing! Internalized HomoShame is the process by which you take on the shaming of homosexuality that is subtly (and not so subtly) reinforced through family, religion, culture, schools, teams, and on and on. It is as direct as “gay bashing” and as subtle as the absence of your story in the children’s books you read. And when you did hear about it, read about it, or saw it portrayed in dominant culture, the message was clear:

  7. You are not others’ labels of who you’re “supposed” to be. FAGGOT, QUEER, GURL, SISSY BOY, ABOMINATION, UNACCEPTABLE, FAILURE, DISGUSTING… And there so many more that are too “blue” for this site! It can feel like death by a zillion cuts, and each cut bleeds into the next. Perhaps you participated in those words in an attempt to eke out some measure of belonging… Perhaps you swallowed it and pretended not to care… because caring was too painful.

  8. For more update , visit us https://frankkewin.org/therapy-for-gay-bisexual-and-questioning-men/

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