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The Return of Goldilocks in: Civil War and the Three Regimes!

The Return of Goldilocks in: Civil War and the Three Regimes!. By Jimmy Ray. Once upon a time, Goldilocks asked her Three Bear friends, "Bear friends, what kind of political regime is most likely to suffer from civil war?" . "Not autocracies!" shouted Papa Bear. "They're too hard!"

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The Return of Goldilocks in: Civil War and the Three Regimes!

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  1. The Return of Goldilocks in: Civil Warand the Three Regimes! By Jimmy Ray

  2. Once upon a time, Goldilocks asked her Three Bear friends, "Bear friends, what kind of political regime is most likely to suffer from civil war?"

  3. "Not autocracies!" shouted Papa Bear. "They're too hard!" Goldilocks agreed, "Autocracies must repress civil war."

  4. "Well, not democracies either, dear," rejoined Mama Bear. "They're too soft." Again, Goldilocks agreed, "Democracies can accommodate civil conflict peacefully."

  5. "Civil wars are most likely in anocracies!" exclaimed Baby Bear. "They're just right!" "Yes," Goldilocks reasoned, "by default, civil war must be more likely in the middle."

  6. "Anocracy leads to civil war," they said all together.

  7. Late that night, while the Bears were asleep, Goldilocks sneaked back into the Bears' home with a basket. True to her thieving nature, she stole the Bears' data on political regimes and took all of their codebooks!

  8. Wherever she went, Goldilocks spread her message of anocracies and civil war. But one day, she came upon the Big Bad Wolf! The Big Bad Wolf asked, "Whatcha got for me, li'l girl?" Goldilocks whimpered and finally whispered meekly, "I've got a correlation..."

  9. "What's the correlation, Goldie?" said the Big Bad Wolf.

  10. "Well," replied Goldilocks, "Civil war is most likely under anocratic political regimes." "Anocratic?! $&@#!?? What the heck does anocratic mean?" growled the Big Bad Wolf.

  11. The Big Bad Wolf grew impatient! He grabbed the basket from Goldilocks and began to devour the data and the pages of the codebook! "Aha!" blurted the Big Bad Wolf after a moment. "I found it!" "Here's what anocracies are..." The Big Bad Wolf read aloud slowly, as if stunned by the words in the codebook. "Anocracies are countries that are suffering from political violence or civil war..."

  12. Goldilocks gasped! And the Big Bad Wolf snarled at her with his big bad teeth. "Civil wars are more likely where there is political violence?!? %$&@?#$!! Isn't that just a truism?"

  13. “You better tell people to use a measure of political regime that does NOT mix in political violence!" The Big Bad Wolf looked terribly frightening as he pronounced his instructions. "Well, I will spread the message to all I meet," Goldilocks announced.

  14. "And tell all you meet," added the Big Bad Wolf, "if they use the mixed up measure, I'll find them and eat them up!"

  15. Goldilocks was persuaded. She never used the mixed up data again to study civil war. Goldilocks, the Big Bad Wolf, and the Three Bears all lived happily ever after. And Goldilocks spread the word.

  16. The End?See: http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/jrv24/goldindex.html#above

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