Marriage & Divorce

1. Marriage & Divorce • Definition of Terms (some application) • Marriage • Divorce • Annulment • Separation • Fornication • Adultery • Bound and Loosed

2. The Bible nowhere gives explicit definition of “marriage”. Taken for granted. Marriage is the legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife. Intention of both parties to be husband and wife. Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.   Malachi 2:14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Marriage

3. Complies with social customs and/or laws of the land. God leaves to societies, but we must comply. Difference between marriage and cohabitation. Intent and Social/Legal requirements. Romans 13:1-7 Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. Acts 5:29 But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: “We ought to obey God rather than men. Intent+social ratification=commitment Marriage

4. Marriage is marriage. No distinction between a “literal” and “accommodative”. Some want to argue that unless a man and woman are scripturally married, they are not married at all. When a man and woman get married, they are married. Mark 6:17-18 For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife; for he had married her. 18 Because John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.” Matthew 5:32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Marriage

5. I have taught differently. But the scriptures teach “no”. One flesh is more than sexual intercourse-much more is involved. Some physically incapable-yet still get married and are one flesh. Does not diminish importance of sexual relationship. Matthew 1:24-25 Then Joseph, being aroused from sleep, did as the angel of the Lord commanded him and took to him his wife, 25 and did not know her till she had brought forth her firstborn Son. And he called His name Jesus. Is Sexual Union Necessary?

6. 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For “the two,” He says, “shall become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Some argue that sexual intercourse constitutes marriage. Exodus 22:16-17 “If a man entices a virgin who is not betrothed, and lies with her, he shall surely pay the bride-price for her to be his wife. 17 If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the bride-price of virgins.   John 4:16-18 Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” 17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” Does Sexual Union Constitute Marriage?

7. kâriythuwth –/ker·ee·thooth Dt.24:1,Jer.3:8 apostasion /ap·os·tas·ee·on Matt.5:31;19:7 garash /gaw·rash Lev.21:14 shalach /shaw·lakh Mal.2:16 apoluo /ap·ol·oo·o Matt.19:9 Casting off A setting or standing off or away To cast out, divorce To send forth, putting away To let loose from, let go free Divorce is the “legal dissolution of a marriage” Divorce

8. Required Elements. Same as those of marriage. The intention of a least one party to cease being husband and wife. Compliance with social customs and or laws of the land. Some say a man who divorces his wife unscripturally is not really divorced in God’s eyes. Divorce is divorce. Whether God approves or not divorce is really a divorce. Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” May be legal, but not scriptural. Doesn’t automatically qualify both parties to remarry. Divorce

9. What About Annulment • What is it? The making of a marriage null and void and as if it never existed (Ecclesiastical Tribunal). • On what grounds? • Two parties must consent, • or for other reasons that render the marriage null and void. • The only marriage dissolutions in the bible are death and divorce. • Annulment has its origin in the works of man.

10. What About Separation? • Separation is “an agreement or court decree terminating the conjugal relationship of a husband and wife.” • Separation and divorce are not the same. • Separation means that a man and woman are no longer living together, but in reality are still married. • The modern concept of separation is not covered in the NT.

11. Greek-porneia In Scriptures is term for “illicit sexual intercourse in general” Translated fornication, sexual immorality. Includes prostitution,homosexuality, lesbianism, incest, rape, bestiality, etc. Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies. Greek-moicheia Adultery is a specific type of fornication. All adultery is fornication, but not all fornication is adultery. Adultery is fornication where at least one of the participants is married to a third party. More precisely- adultery is fornication in which at least one of the partners is bound to a previous partner. Fornication and Adultery

12. Adultery • Romans 7:2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.   • Romans 7:3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marriesanother man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man. • 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. • Why? Adultery! This would allow for one to remain unmarried.

13. What do the scriptures say?  1 Corinthians 7:10-11 Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. May be cases where man and wife can no longer be married. Abuse, violence, etc. Raising eyebrows, but what saith the scriptures? Matthew 5:32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. How does he cause her to commit adultery? I know one thing, no one is without free will in decisions. I need to find another answer! Some would say that a couple could not divorce without being guilty of adultery.

14. What About Lust? • Adultery does include homosexuality, lesbianism, etc. • But it does not include lust. • Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.   • 1 John 3:15 Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him. • The point is that the thought can lead to the overt action. • The thought itself (lust) is sin, but not the same as the overt action.

15. Adulterous Marriage • Not just the sexual intercourse with the spouse of another. • But being married to a person who used to be the spouse of another and who is still bound to the previous spouse. • Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”   • Romans 7:2-3 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.   • Mark 6:17 For Herod himself had sent and laid hold of John, and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife; for he had married her.   • Mark 6:18 Because John had said to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.”

16. Is Adultery Just Covenant Breaking? • One need only to repent of having broken a previous marriage covenant. • Once repented of breaking previous marriage cov’t, then remain in second marriage. • Jeremiah 3:9 So it came to pass, through her casual harlotry, that she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees.   • Ezekiel 23:37 For they have committed adultery, and blood is on their hands. They have committed adultery with their idols, and even sacrificed their sons whom they bore to Me, passing them through the fire, to devour them.   • John 8:4 they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act.   • John 8:11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”   • Matthew 5:32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

17. Divorce as Treachery • It is true that adultery involves treachery and covenant breaking. • Malachi 2:16 “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.” • Adultery is not just breaking a promise, it also involves the actual activity of sexual intercourse.

18. The first illicit sexual act severs the previous marriage relationship. The couple can repent of this and stay in second relationship. The truth is that a couple continues to commit adultery every time they engage in sexual relations. Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Present tense which indicates continuous action at any time. Only the First Illicit Sexual Act ?

19. Only the First Illicit Sexual Act ? • The possibility of living in adultery? • Colossians 3:5-7 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.  

20. Bound & Loosed • Romans 7:2 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. • Greek – deo = to bind, tie, fasten • The marriage and the bond are not the same thing. • It is possible to be married to one and bound to another. • The bond has to do with the covenant with God that joins a man and a wife. • It obligates one to leave and cleave and to restrain from sexual relations with any other. • Matthew 19:5 and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’.

21. Bound & Loosed • To be “bound” to a mate means to be still under obligations that were assumed when the marriage was entered into. • Obligations may continue for one or both parties even after the relationship itself no longer exists! • It is the bond to a particular person that makes marriage to any other adulterous!

22. Bound & Loosed • Romans 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. • Greek- katargeo = to render inactive, idle, useless; hence, to cause to cease, do away; cease to be connected with. • The divorce and the loosing are not the same thing. • It is possible to be divorced without being loosed. • Only God can loose the obligations by which one was bound to a spouse.

23. Bound & Loosed • In a scriptural divorce (for the cause of adultery), God looses the bond for the one putting away his spouse, but not for the one being put away. • Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” • In an unscriptural divorce (for any cause other than adultery), God does not loose the bond for either party. Even though they are now unmarried, both remain bound and neither can remarry without committing adultery. Rom. 7:2-3 • In all cases, the bond remains the same for the put away spouse. The one put away never has the right of remarriage as long as his or her previous spouse lives. • The only person who is ever loosed from the bond and is free to remarry is the one who did the putting away, and then only if the putting away was for the cause of adultery.

24.  Matthew 5:32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Mark 10:11-12 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” Luke 16:18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery. Summary of Jesus’ Teaching

26. In other words..

27. In other words..

28. Marriage & Divorce Part 2

29. Divorce & remarriage for any legal cause. Divorce and remarriage without cause (No fault divorce). Divorce & remarriage for innocent if the cause is fornication. Death is the only cause for remarriage. Divorce & remarriage if before baptism – past husbands/wives washed away. Divorce & remarriage if before baptism – Not under the law of Christ. Believer forsaken by unbeliever – Free to remarry. Both parties free to remarry if cause is fornication. Eight Positions on Divorce and Remarriage

30. What does except imply? Jesus may expect more, but never less. Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Matthew 18:3 and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. John 3:2 This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.”  John 3:5 Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. Death is only cause for remarriage.

31. Some teach that there are “no exceptions”. Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Bind it as law! Must look at sum of God’s word. Be careful not to violate 2 John 9 Galatians 6:10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.   2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. Death is only cause for remarriage.

32. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. The idea is that when one is baptized into Christ, sins are forgiven (even the adulterous relationship). So after baptism one could either enter into or stay in a second (or more) marriage. Are not sins forgiven when one is baptized? Yes, but on condition. Has the person believed (Mark 16:15 16)? Has the person repented? (Acts 2:38)? Divorce & remarriage if before baptism.

33. What does repentance require? • Leviticus 6:1-6 And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: 2 “If a person sins and commits a trespass against the Lord by lying to his neighbor about what was delivered to him for safekeeping, or about a pledge, or about a robbery, or if he has extorted from his neighbor, 3 or if he has found what was lost and lies concerning it, and swears falsely—in any one of these things that a man may do in which he sins: 4 then it shall be, because he has sinned and is guilty, that he shall restore what he has stolen, or the thing which he has extorted, or what was delivered to him for safekeeping, or the lost thing which he found, 5 or all that about which he has sworn falsely. He shall restore its full value, add one-fifth more to it, and give it to whomever it belongs, on the day of his trespass offering. 6 And he shall bring his trespass offering to the Lord, a ram without blemish from the flock, with your valuation, as a trespass offering, to the priest.

34. What does repentance require? • Numbers 5:5-10 Then the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, 6 “Speak to the children of Israel: ‘When a man or woman commits any sin that men commit in unfaithfulness against the Lord, and that person is guilty, 7 then he shall confess the sin which he has committed. He shall make restitution for his trespass in full, plus one-fifth of it, and give it to the one he has wronged. 8 But if the man has no relative to whom restitution may be made for the wrong, the restitution for the wrong must go to the Lord for the priest, in addition to the ram of the atonement with which atonement is made for him. 9 Every offering of all the holy things of the children of Israel, which they bring to the priest, shall be his. 10 And every man’s holy things shall be his; whatever any man gives the priest shall be his.’ ”

35. What does repentance require? • Matthew 3:2 …and saying, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!” • Matthew 3:8 Therefore bear fruits worthy of repentance.

36. What does repentance require? • Luke 3:10-14 So the people asked him, saying, “What shall we do then?” 11 He answered and said to them, “He who has two tunics, let him give to him who has none; and he who has food, let him do likewise.” 12 Then tax collectors also came to be baptized, and said to him, “Teacher, what shall we do?” 13 And he said to them, “Collect no more than what is appointed for you.” 14 Likewise the soldiers asked him, saying, “And what shall we do?” So he said to them, “Do not intimidate anyone or accuse falsely, and be content with your wages.”

37. What does repentance require?

38. What does repentance require? • 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.

39. Some contend that those outside of Christ are not amenable to the NT teaching on this subject. According to this view one may be married, divorced & remarried any number of times prior to baptism. Only after baptism is the person under the law of Christ. In essence, one can keep second or third mate after baptism. Does the bible teach that only Christians are amenable to the law of Christ? 1 Corinthians 6:9-11Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. Divorce & remarriage because not under law of Christ.

40. Non-Christians under the law of Christ? • 1 Corinthians 5:9 I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people.   • 1 Corinthians 5:10 Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world • John 12:48 He who rejects Me, and does not receive My words, has that which judges him— the word that I have spoken will judge him in the last day.   • Acts 17:30 Truly, these times of ignorance God overlooked, but now commands all meneverywhere to repent,   • Acts 17:31 because He has appointed a day on which He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead.”   • Romans 2:16 in the day when God will judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ, according to my gospel.  

41. Key word here is bondage. 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 1 Corinthians 7:27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.   1 Corinthians 7:39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. Romans 7:2-3 For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. In 1 Cor. 7:15 bound is from dedoulotai and is never used in context of marriage in NT. Refers to slavery, the lowest from of servitude. Rom. 7:2-3; 1 Cor.7:27,39 refers to marriage bond. Believer forsaken by unbeliever- free to remarry.

42. Three views which best fit passage. 1) If the unbeliever departs, the believer is not under bondage to fulfill marriage responsibilities of verses 2-5. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Believer forsaken by unbeliever- free to remarry.

43. 2) The believer is not under bondage to man, or to an unbeliever. The believer does not have to give up faith in Christ in order to hold the unbeliever in marriage. Christ comes first. 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. Believer forsaken by unbeliever- free to remarry.

44. 3) Not under bondage to God It is argued that Christians are under obligation to God to save as many as possible. The rejection of the unbeliever relieves the saint of that responsibility. 1 Corinthians 9:19-22 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; 20 and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; 21 to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; 22 to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. Believer forsaken by unbeliever- free to remarry.

45. Believer forsaken by unbeliever- free to remarry.

46. Summary of Jesus’ Teaching Mark 10:11-12 So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.” Matthew 5:32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery. Matthew 19:9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” Luke 16:18 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.

48. Some things to avoid in discussion. • Folks who appeal to emotion on breaking up happy homes.

49. Some things to avoid in discussion. Ezra 10:10 • Then Ezra the priest stood up and said to them, “You have transgressed and have taken pagan wives, adding to the guilt of Israel.11 Now therefore, make confession to the Lord God of your fathers, and do His will; separate yourselves from the peoples of the land, and from the pagan wives.”

50. Appeal to complicated situations, hypothetical cases, etc. Some things to avoid in discussion.