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Why do children misbehave?

Why do children misbehave? . Mistaken Goals Rudolf Dreikurs. Reasons children misbehave. Attention Power Revenge Inadequacy. Children needs. Sense of belonging. Need for Attention. Child believes that unless they are the center of attention, then they have no role in the relationship!

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Why do children misbehave?

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  1. Why do children misbehave? Mistaken Goals Rudolf Dreikurs

  2. Reasons children misbehave • Attention • Power • Revenge • Inadequacy

  3. Children needs • Sense of belonging

  4. Need for Attention • Child believes that unless they are the center of attention, then they have no role in the relationship! • Teacher reacts by getting annoyed, coaxing the child, and then doing for the child • Child will stop temporarily but will later resume the behavior in another manner. • Child believes that I only count or belong when I am the center of your attention.

  5. Adult's Response to Power struggle • Fight, argue, demand, our voices get louder, angry, operating from the emotional part of our brain, planning our retaliation, if we give here then they are not going to do the other fun event planned, or something.

  6. What should we do? • Give attention when they are demanding it. • Avoid special service • Encourage them to do things on their own • Set up routines • Ignore • Send out “non verbals” to encourage competence in the child

  7. Need for POWER!!!!!! • The child feels as if he only belongs when he has power over the other person. “you are not the boss over me, and I will beat you and do as I please” • Nobody wins in a power struggle!!!

  8. Adult feels: • Annoyed, angry, frustrated, challenged and defeated, as well as embarrassed.

  9. Need for Revenge • Child thinks they do not belong at all so the only they belong to any degree is when they are getting even. • The child feels as though they cannot be liked or loved

  10. Adult feels • Hurt disappointed disbelieving and disgusted

  11. Adult reacts by • Retaliating • Getting even • Thinking:”How could you do this to me?” playing victim, which is really dangerous

  12. More appropriate responses • Deal with hurt feelings • Build trust with the child • Show you care • Act, don’t talk • Encourage strengths

  13. Assumed Inadequacy • The child believes that they cannot belong because they are not perfect, so I will convince others not to expect anything of me. I am helpless and unable. There is no use trying because I won’t do right.

  14. Adult Feels • Despair, hopeless helpless

  15. Adult Reacts by: • Giving up • Doing for the child • Over helping

  16. Child then • Retreats further • Becomes passive • No improvement • No repsonse • Gives up

  17. What we should do • Show faith • Stop all criticism • Encourage postive attempts • Focus on assets • Teach skills/show how to do it, and then step back • Encourage and watch out for empty praise

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