Bill Gates

1. Bill Gates Bill gates was the person who invented windows, and is one of the richest people on earth! It is said that his time was worth so much that if he were to bed down to pick up a $20 bill, he would be wasting his time.!

2. The man who created windows • Bill Gates is a philanthropist, author, former CEO and current chairman of Microsoft, the software company he founded with Paul Allen.Microsoft, Gates held the positions of CEO and chief software architect, and remains the largest individual shareholder, with more than 8 percent of the stock.

3. $$Billion air$$ • Bill gates made his fortune by investing into his company, Microsoft. He is consistently ranked among the world's wealthiest people and was the wealthiest overall from 1995 to 2009, excluding 2008, when he was ranked third!He currently has$56,000,000,000, and is increasing that number by about$3,000,000,000a year!!!!

4. Bill gates jokes and sayings • Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. • They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. • "Al, what do you believe in?" • Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more freon is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die." • God thinks for a second and says "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left." • God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?" • Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain." • God thinks for a second and says "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right." • God then address Bill Gates. "Bill Gates, what do you believe?" • Bill Gates says, "I believe you're in my chair." • Joke 2 • Joke 3 • Joke 4 • Joke 5

5. Bill gates jokes and sayings • Joke 1 • Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God... • "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world. and yet created that ghastly Windows 95. I'm going to do something I've never done before. In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go!" God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help you make a decision." • "Fine, so where should I go first?" • God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you". • Bill said, "Okay, then, let's try Hell first." • So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water. laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect."  Bill was very pleased. "This is great!" he told God, "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!". • "Fine", said God. And off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds with angels drifting about playing harps and singing.. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. "Mm, I think I prefer Hell." he told God. "Fine," retorted God, " as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell. • Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. • "How's everything going, Bill?" God asked. • Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can't believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?:" • God says, "Oh, that was the screen saver" • Joke 3 • Joke 4 • Joke 5

6. Bill gates jokes and sayings • Joke 1 • Joke 2 • While the Gates's are moving in from their temporary quarters nearby, final construction of their new house is not expected to be completed until the end of the year. • Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss." • Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?" • Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated." • Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date." • Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there." • Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker." • Bill: "Stacker?" • Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table...etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done." • Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way." • Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs." • Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular. How do I fix that?" • Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system." • Bill: "You're kidding!?" • Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way." • Bill: "sigh Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work." • Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures." • Bill: "And how do I fix that?" • Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work." • Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?" • Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it." • Bill: "And when will this be fixed?" • Contractor: "Oh, in your next house - which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays..." • Joke 4 • Joke 5

7. Bill gates jokes and sayings • Joke 1 • Joke 2 • Joke 3 • Bill Gates, wanting to impress with success, decided to measure MS accomplishments against General Motors... • "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the decades, you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 100000 mph" • General Motors responded: • "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes twice a day?" • Joke 5

8. Bill gates jokes and sayings • Joke 1 • Joke 2 • Joke 3 • Joke 4 • The real name of "the" Bill Gates is William Henry Gates III. Nowadays he is known as Bill Gates III. By converting the letters of his current name to the ASCII-values and adding his (III), you get the following: •  B 66  I 73  L 76  L 76  G 71  A 65  T 84  E 69  S 83  I 1  I 1  I 1 666! • Some might ask, "How did Bill Gates get so powerful?" Concidence? Or just the beginning of mankind's ultimate and total enslavement??? Before you decide, consider the following: • MS - DOS 6.21 = 77+83+45+68+79+83+32+54+46+50+49 = 666 • WINDOWS 95 = 87+73+78+68+79+87+83+57+53+1 = 666 LOL

9. About me • My name is Rioh and I live in Red Bluff CA • I am fun to be around and realy get into the spirit of things. • Along with playing socker, playing in my band program and making websites, I also enjoy playing video games, such as Vortex wars, Runescape, Minecraft, Halo, Call of duty, and warcraft.

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11. Cool facts • By the age of 17, Gates had sold his first computer program, a time-tabling system for his high school, for $4,200. • Gates told his university teachers he would be a millionaire by age 30.  He became a billionaire at age 31. • In 2002, Bill Gates was considered more idolized than Chinese Communist leader Mao Tse-tungin a poll of teenagers in Hong Kong and China.  The survey was conducted by the City University of Hong Kong. • He is currently having a building named after him at Carnegie Mellon University, called the Gates Building of Computer Science. • Bill Gates earns $250 every second; that’s about $20 million a day and $7.8 billion a year! • If he drops a thousand-dollar bill, he needn’t even bother to pick it up because in the four seconds it would take him to pick it up, he would’ve already earned it back.