2009 ELO Promising Practices-Proven Strategies Conference Strategies for Success: Discipline with Love and Logic • Presented by Cindy Renehan email@example.com • Created by Jim Fay and Foster W. Cline, MD, Golden, Colorado www.loveandlogic.com
The Love and Logic Process – • Love allows children to • grow through their mistakes. • Logic allows them to live • with consequences • of their choices.
Clock Buddies Image source: SMART Notebook
Elbow Partners • Happy - • Bashful – • Sleepy – • Grumpy -
The Rules of Love & Logic Rule #1: Adults set firm limits in loving ways without anger, lecture or threats. Rule #2: When a child causes a problem, the adult hands it back in loving ways. Here’s how we’ll do it…. 1.Shared control 2. Shared thinking and decision-making 3. Equal shares of consequences with empathy 4. Maintain the child’s self-concept
Shared Control Shared control: Gain control by giving away the control you don’t need by using these strategies: • Ask questions • Share control on the adult’s terms • Smile and Whisper • Use enforceable statements • Use the broken record technique
Shared Thinking and Decision Making Shared thinking and decision-making: Provide opportunities for the child to do the greatest amount of thinking and decision-making. • Use thinking words versus fighting words. • Implement a predictable routine. • Allow children to live with the consequences of their decisions.
Equal Balance of Consequences and Empathy Equal shares of consequences with empathy: An absence of anger causes a child to think and learn from his or her mistakes. • Use the “Uh Oh” Song • Lead with an empathetic response • Delay consequences until the child is in the thinking state
Maintain Self-Concept Increased self-concept leads to improved behavior and improved achievement. • Ask questions • Use Attribution Theory • Child makes the decision and lives with the consequences of the decision • Neutralize arguments • “I care enough about you to help you to listen.” • “I love you too much to argue.”
The Misbehavior Cycle Image source: www.loveandlogic.com
The Importance of Shared Control You cannot make a child do what he or she chooses not to do! Image source: http://www.liveoakmedia.com/moreinfo.cfm?Product_ID=290&CFID=71317&CFTOKEN=56564609
The Importance of Shared Control • Lack of Control: • Look at you like they don’t understand • Move v e r y slowly • Say “Yes” and do the opposite • “Forget” what to do • Pretend not to hear you • Argue, complain, and make the adult angry • Feeling in Control: • Demonstrate improved self-control • Make better decisions • Are generally more cooperative
Delivering Empathetic Responses • Benefits of delivering consequences with empathy. • Examples of empathetic responses: • This must really hurt and ________ (Fill in consequences) • This so sad, and ___________. • Oh I’m so sorry, and ___________. • Keep your empathy simple and repetitive. • Try to find a response you already know. • Remember the power of nonverbal communication… the 90% rule!
Maintaining Authority in the Adult/Child Relationship How to erode authority in the classroom: • Common statements that erode teacher authority (Threats) • Wise teachers never tell kids what to do. Instead, they tell them what they will do.
Maintaining Authority in the Adult/Child Relationship • Statements that maintain authority (Enforceable Statements) • I’ll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine • I respect you too much to argue. • I take quiet groups to recess. • I give directions when I see that you’re ready. • I feel really sad for students who aren’t prepared with their materials. • I allow students to stay in my group when they aren’t causing a problem for anybody else. • I listen to children with their hands raised.
Skills I Know And Want To Practice • Identify three students with whom you will practice your new skills. • List the students’ names on the top of the chart. • Check off the skill you will practice with each child. • Remember to be patient with yourself! Your skills will grow as you practice.
Walking In Rhythm • Identify 3 new understandings as a result of this session. • List 2 strategies to address specific repeated or expected behaviors. • Write one question for further discussion. • Be prepared to share your responses as we play Walking In Rhythm! • Enjoy your newly found skills!!!!!
Model for children how a well-put-together adults handles him or herself.