The 5 stages of Grief By: Auna C. And Tyler C.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross • She was born July 8, 1926 and died August 24, 2004 • A swiss born psychiatrist • Author of the groundbreaking book “On Death and Dying” (1969), where she first discussed what is now know as the Kubler-Ross model. • A 2007 inductee into the National Women’s Hall of Fame • She was the recipient of twenty honorary degrees
Elizabeth continued.. • By July 1982 she had taught approximately, 125,000 students in death and dying courses in colleges, seminaries, medical schools, hospitals, and social-work institutions. • In 1970, she delivered the, The Ingersoll Lectures on Human Immortality at the University of Harvard, on the theme, “On Death and Dying” • IN 1979, she hand wrote and illustrated “The Dougy Letter” for a young boy that was dying of cancer. This book explains life and death in a way that children can under stand.
5 Stages Of Grief • Denial • Anger • Bargaining • Depression • Acceptance In general most individual experience most of these stages, though in no defined sequence, after faced with the reality of their impending death. The five stages have been adopted by many as applying to the survivors of a loved one’s death also.
Stage 1 Denial • The first stage of grieving helps us to survive the loss. • In this stage the world becomes meaningless and overwhelming, life makes no sense. • In stage of shock and denial. • Denial and shock helps us to cope and make survival possible. • Denial also helps us to pace our feelings of grief. • As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process.
Stage 2 Anger • Necessary stage of the healing process. • Anger may seem endless • The more your truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. • Anger is the emotion we are most used to managing. • Underneath anger is pain, your pain. • It is natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in society that fears anger. • Your anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a connection from you and them
Anger continued…Still angry • Anger feels better than nothing at this point. • We usually know more about suppressing anger than feeling it. • The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love for that person.
Stage 3 Bargaining • Before a loss, it seems like you will do anything if only your loved one would be spared “Please God?!” • After a loss, bargaining may take the form of a temporary truce, you try to make deals. • We become lost in a maze of “If only…” or “what if..”, regret becomes inevitable. • We want to go back in time. • Guilt is often bargaining’s companion. • The “if only” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we “think” we could have done differently. • We will do anything not to feel the pain of this loss.
Stage 4 Depression… SO SAD! • After bargaining, our attention moves squarely into the present. • Empty feelings present themselves, grief enters our life on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. • This stage feels as though it will last forever. • An appropriate response to a great loss. • We withdrawal from life, left in fog of intense sadness. • Depression after a loss is too often seen as unnatural.
Depression Continued.. Still sad? • First question to ask yourself is whether or not the situation your in is actually depressing. • To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be unusual. • If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many necessary steps along the way.
Stage 5 Acceptance • Often confused with the notion of being “all right” or “okay” • The reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality. • We will never like it but eventually accept it. • At first many people want to maintain life as it was before. • We see that we cannot maintain the past intact.
Acceptance Continued..Move on • We must learn to reorganize roles, re-assign them to others or take them on ourselves. • Finding acceptance may be just having good days than bad ones. • Often we feel we are betraying our lost loved one by moving on. • We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections and new relationships. • We begin to live again, but not until we have given grief its time.
Interesting Facts • Elisabeth was one of triplets. • She graduated from medical school at the University of Zurich in 1957. • She came to the U.S in 1958. • Her book has been translated into more than twenty-five languages. • “My goal was to break through the layer of professional denial that prohibited patients from airing their inner-most concerns.” • 1995, she suffered a series of major strokes, left her paralyzed and facing her own death.