Humility • Self-reflection as a Tool for Personal and Professional growth • Humble Character • Risks and Rewards of an Open, Humble Leadership Style • Characteristics of “Tenderhearted” Leadership
Who am I? The first step in creating and maintaining a humble character is knowing who you truly are…..
Lens Principle • Who you are determines what you see. • Who you are determines how you see others. • Who you are determines how you view life. • Who you are determines what you do. Maxwell: Winning with People
Five Things that Determine Who We Are • Genetics • Self-Image • Experiences in Life • Attitudes and Choices about Those Experiences • Friends
Winning with PeopleQuestions (p. 14) Write a general philosophy statement about human nature and people in general. “I believe that humankind is basically…..”
Winning with PeopleQuestions (p. 14) • Am I generally optimistic or pessimistic? • Which childhood experiences have molded me into what I am today? • Who will I be in five years? • What are some personal qualities I need to cultivate?
Mirror Principle The Mirror Test • Self-awareness • Self-image • Self-honesty • Self-improvement • Self-responsibility
Mirror PrincipleQuestions (p. 24) • How do I self-reflect? • What would family/friends say about me?
Soaring with Your Strengths(Clifton and Nelson) The Strengths’ Theory • Focus on Strengths and Manage Weaknesses. • Identify your strengths and soar with them………do them all of the time. • Find out what you do not do well and stop doing it. • Identify your non-strengths and allow someone else to take over.
“A strength is a pattern of behavior, thoughts, and feelings that produces a high degree of satisfaction and pride; generates both psychic and/or financial reward; and presents measurable progress toward excellence.” • Strengths Develop Best in the Framework of Mission
Five Characteristics of a Strength • Listen for Yearnings – to pull or attraction of one activity over another. As a leader, I should listen to the yearnings of others. Watch out for “misyearnings.” • Watch for Satisfactions – activities we get a “kick out of doing.” These are not merely momentary pleasures, but form our intrinsic motivation. • Watch for Rapid Learning – catch on quickly – “I feel like I have always known how to do this.” Slow learning is evidence of a nonstrength. • Glimpses of Excellence - A performance is made up of a series of “moments” that can offer clues to a strength. • Total Performance of Excellence – A flow of behavior when there are no conscious steps in the mind of the performer.
Eight Steps to Identifying a Weakness (Non-strength) • Feel Defensive About Performance • Develop Obsessive Behavior • Experience Slow Learning • Don’t Profit from Repeated Experience • Consciously Think Through the Steps of a Process • Experience a Reduction of Confidence from Performing the Activity • Lack Futuristic Thinking about the Activity • Suffer Burnout while Practicing an Activity
Five Strategies for Managing Weaknesses (Non-strengths) • Sloughing – stop doing it • Subcontracting • Complementary Partnering - combining each person’s strengths to achieve a goal • Support Systems – cell phones, lap tops, chauffeurs, walking shoes, etc. • Alternatives – find an alternative way to accomplish the same task.
Strengths and Weaknesses(Non-strengths) • What are my strengths and weaknesses? • Which strengths will take me to the next level in my leadership? • My strengths can also be weaknesses. • Which areas need the greatest growth?
Why am I a leader? • Where am I in my leadership growth process? • How much of a servant leader am I?
Humble Character Humility is the most difficult servant leadership trait to model for others • Absence of ego, jealousy, and self-promotion • Putting the needs of others first • Team membership (walk and talk) • Elevating and praising others
Humble Character Exercise • Absence of ego, jealousy, and self-promotion • Putting the needs of others first • Team membership (walk and talk) • Elevating and praising others
The Elevator Principle • Lifters commit themselves to daily encouragement • Lifters know the little difference that separates hurting and helping • Lifters initiate the positive in a negative environment • Lifters understand that life is not a dress rehearsal
The Big Picture Principle • “Me first” vs. “Others first” attitude • Opening your eyes to the big picture • Get out of your “own little world.” • Check your ego at the door • Understand what brings fulfillment
Questions (p. 67) • Big ego vs. great confidence? • When do we begin thinking of others (over self)?
Risks and Rewards of a Humble Leadership Style • Vulnerability • Viewed by many as a weak leader • Win the Loyalty of People (Love & Respect)
Characteristics of Tenderhearted Leadership • Tenderhearted mercy (fair and caring) • Kindness (considerate toward others) • Humility (one of the team) • Gentleness (peaceful, calm, soft-spoken) • Patience (self-control)
Master vs. Servant Leader Master Leadership Servant Leadership “I make the decisions” “Together we will make the decisions” “I know best” “Together, we do our best thinking” “My needs are most important” “I operate based on others’ needs” Employ fear and intimidation Cooperative and trusting atmosphere “Listen to me” “I will listen to you” “I have the vision” “We create the vision” “Do it my way or leave” Cooperative decision-making Keep information a secret Share information Reactive Proactive Focus on speaking/telling Focus on listening
Master Leadership Servant Leadership Lectures Discusses Seeks personal success Seeks success for others/team Superior Humble Trusts self Trusts others Delegates with hesitation Delegates with confidence Draws strength from self Draws strength from God and others Judges others/ criticizes Helps others/ motivates “Gotcha” mentality Helps others grow/forgives mistakes Controls others Grants freedoms and allows choices “I will do it for you” “I will help you” “Follow me” “Let’s move forward together”
The Hammer Principle • Trade in your hammer for a velvet glove • Let the past stay in the past • Ask yourself, “Is my reaction part of the problem?” • Remember that actions are remembered long after words are forgotten • Never let the situation mean more than the relationship • Treat loved ones with unconditional love • Admit wrongs and ask forgiveness
Questions (p. 44) Hammer vs. Velvet Glove or Iron Fist vs. Gentle Hand