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Funny lines from the funniest folks in show business

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Funny lines from the funniest folks in show business

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  1. Funny lines from the funniest folks in show business

  2. Relax, laugh and have a good time with these quotes from some of the funniest people in showbiz, all curated by the Viewhall review team. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music. Jim Carrey I don’t want to be a vampire. I’m a day person. Jim Carrey Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass. Jim Carrey The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. Jimmy Fallon Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I’d have an excuse. Jimmy Fallon If you’re a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don’t have a choice. Jimmy Fallon I want to be a dad. That’s floating to the top of my list. I think it’s such an important thing. I’m at the age where everyone has kids, and I ask them, ‘Is it like a puppy?’ And they go, ‘It’s 10 times a puppy.’ Jimmy Fallon I’m going to North Pole to help out Santa this year. Jimmy Fallon I don’t even read the papers. I read ‘USA Today’ because it has color photos. Jimmy Fallon I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I’m like ‘You know, maybe I shouldn’t be a Priest.’ Jimmy Fallon

  3. Honestly, I just want to keep people awake. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with. Jimmy Fallon Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food. Jimmy Fallon Thank you, 2:30 in the morning, for always being the first sign that tomorrow’s gonna suck. Jimmy Fallon I think if you get kicked in the face you deserved it because that means that you watched the foot come to your face. Kevin Hart These glasses are way 2 big for my damn face! I look like I got on a damn tinted construction mask. Kevin Hart I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like ! It was born 15 minutes ago it looks like a potato. Kevin Hart Marriage is a 24 hour job. You get married, you’re no longer an individual. You can’t do nothing by yourself when you get married. Everything is a team effort. ‘Us’, ‘we’, ‘let’s’, honey, come on partner. You can’t do nothing by yourself. Kevin: Baby I’m gonna be right back I’m going to the store. Wife: Well, wait, let me get my coat. Kevin: Bit__, it’s right there on the corner. I just wanna get some chips. I ain’t going to sleep with nobody. Kevin Hart First off, my kids know I’m a big deal. Kevin Hart If I still cannot hear what you have to say after you have repeated it three times, I will just laugh and hope it was not a question. Kevin Hart For more great humour and comedy, check out the entire collection of eBooks and podcasts at Viewhall.

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