Child guidance Home and Family I Presented by: Howard F. Faigao, Director Publishing Ministries Department General Conference of SDA
The LE students will understand the importance of child training and character development. The LE students will comprehend the important responsibilities of parents toward their children as heritage and stewardship from God. The LE students will get acquainted with the fundamentals of child guidance and discipline. The LE students will be able to explain the bad influence of television and destructive literature. The LE students will develop selling sentences or paragraphs from these principles on how to sell character-building story books. Objectives and Expected Results
Child Training and Discipline Importance of Child Training and Character Development Children Are Gifts and Stewardship from God Fundamentals of Child Guidance and Discipline Child Development Home as the First School Important Lessons to Lear Handing Down Your Faith and Values III. Influence of Literature to Character Development A. Influence of Television and Destructive Literature B. Character-Building Literature Course Outline
PART I CHILD TRAINING AND DISCIPLINE
Child Training and Discipline Being a good parent seems to have become more difficult than ever before. It has never been easy, of course. For one thing, babies come into the world with no instructions, and parents have to assemble them on their own pattern.
Child Training and Discipline James C. Dobson said, “Parents are more concerned in the present era. Their children are walking through the shadow of uncertainties. Drugs, sex, alcohol, rebellion, and defiant lifestyles are everywhere. Those dangers have never been so evident to me as they are today.”
Importance of Child Training and Character Development
Importance of Character “A character formed according to the divine likeness is the only treasure that we can take from this world to the next. Those who are under the instruction of Christ in this world will take every divine attainment with them to the heavenly mansions. . . .” --(Christ’s Object Lessons, p. 332)
True Character is a Quality of the Soul “A good character is a capital of more value than gold or silver. . . .Integrity, firmness, and perseverance are qualities that all should seek earnestly to cultivate; for they clothe the possessor with a power which is irresistible – a power which makes him strong to do good, strong to resist evil, strong to bear adversity.”--Child Guidance, p. 161
Work of a Lifetime “The formation of character is the work of a lifetime, and it is for eternity. . . . As its growth [the growth of a plant] is silent and imperceptible, but continuous, so is the growth of character.” --Child Guidance, p. 161
Harvest of Life “The harvest of life is character, and it is this that determines destiny, both for this life and for the life to come. . . . Every seed yields fruit after its kind. So it is with the traits of character we cherish. Selfishness, self-love, self-esteem, self indulgence, re Produce themselves; and the end is wretchedness and ruin. . . Love, sympathy, and kindness yield fruit - age of blessing, a harvest that is imperishable.”-- Child Guidance, p. 162
A Power for Good “One child, properly disciplined in the principles of truth, who has the love and fear of God woven through the character, will possess a power for good in the world that cannot be estimated.” -- Child Guidance, p. 163
More Important than Building Houses “The character building of your children is of more importance than the cultivation of your farms, more essential than the building of houses to live in, or of prosecuting any manner of business or trade.”-- Child Guidance, p. 169
Character does not come by chance. It is not determined by one outburst of temper or one step toward the wrong direction. It is the repetition of the act that causes it to become habit and molds the character either for good or for evil. How Character is Formed
How Character is Formed Every act of life, however unimportant, has its influence in forming the character.
E. G. White says that parents may sow the “Seed of Ruin” through: Indulgence or Iron Rule - Children are often indulged from their boyhood and wrong habits become fixed. Others go to the opposite extreme of ruling their children with “a rod of iron.” Neither of these follows the Bible directions. Ways in Which Character is Ruined
Ways in Which Character is Ruined • By Failing to Train Their Children to Keep the “Way of the Lord.” • By Negligence that Overlook Their Sins. • By Misguided Love and Sympathy - Parents may indulge their affection for their children at the expense of obedience to God’s Holy Law. When parents do this, they imperil their own souls and the souls of their children.
By Failure to Require Obedience - If disobedient and ungrateful children are allowed to go uncorrected, they are emboldened to continue in their course of evil. By a Lack of Piety at Home. Ways in Which Character is Ruined
Build During the Years of Infancy - “The lessons learned, the habits formed, during the years of infancy and childhood have more to do with the formation of the character and the direction of the life than have all the instruction and training of after years.” -- (Child Guidance, p. 184) How Parents May Build Strong Characters Upon Their Children
Fortify Children Through Prayer and Faith Teach - The enemy is watching every opportunity to destroy our children. Parents must build a fortification of prayer and faith about their children. Children Submission and Obedience to the Law of God. How Parents May Build Strong Characters Upon Their Children
How Parents May Build Strong Characters Upon Their Children • Coordinate the Development of Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Capabilities – This will form a properly balanced character. • Pray for Heavenly Wisdom. • Provide Children with Books and Literature that Teach Moral Lessons.
Who are Children? Children are Gifts and Stewardship From God
Children are Gifts and Stewardship from God “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”--Psalms 127:3-5
Heritage from God The children in your home are God’s gift to you, and He asks you to view them as such. How to apply this principle: Describe to each child the positive events surrounding his birth.
Heritage from God • Remind your children that they were answers to prayers. • Relate the lessons God has taught you in raising up your children.
Stewardship from God God has placed these little ones in our homes as a Treasured Trust. As parents, we are working in partnership with God to bring our children from self-centered lifestyle to a God-centered and others-centered basis for living.
Stewardship from God This principle will encourage parents to do the following for their children: Accept them as a trust from God and that you are raising them for His purpose. Explain the concept of stewardship and your responsibility to God as a parent.
Stewardship from God • Explain how God’s Word functions as the guideline by which you are to raise them. • Commit to following God’s guidelines for raising children.
PART II Fundamentals of Child Guidance and Discipline
Child Development There are certain developmental concepts that are extremely important to know. These concepts relate to the developing of a child’s needs and behavior.
Infancy: The First Year The first month of life is an adjustment period for the entire family. Everybody is more tired, more irritable, and needs more attention. The older children need to be convinced that their place and importance in the family has not been usurped by the newcomer.
Toddlers: From 1 to 2 ½ Years This is the time when the child takes his first steps in independence. He starts talking so he can ask for what he wants. He perfects his walking so he can go wherever he wants.
Toddlers: From 1 to 2 ½ Years • As he grows to be more independent, he continues to need attention, affection, and affirmation of his worth. • He needs firm, gentle, consistent discipline as he begins testing out parent-imposed limitations in his life. • He must learn to distinguish right from wrong.
Preschoolers: From 2 ½ to 5 Years This is the age when children become more interested in other children. Aside from a variety of toys, they need songs, finger plays, and language development experiences.
Preschoolers: From 2 ½ to 5 Years They need Character-Building Stories. This time children become very inquisitive about things they see around them, and they need someone to answer them. Good literature will be of great help.
The School-Age Child Between six and twelve years of age, a child usually experiences steady developmental progress. During the first years in school, the child learns to step out on his own and make new friends. They need someone to listen to them.
The School-Age Child • School-age children are sensitive to slights. They want to be accepted. They need to discuss their conflicts with an understanding parent who will not belittle them. • This is the age when children need training in taking responsibilities.
The School-Age Child Best years to instill into their minds important Christian values through sharing, Christian modeling (examples). Best time to provide character-building literature.
Teenagers Parents must spend time with their children during these critical teenage years.
Teenagers Teenagers need attention. They need someone to talk to. If they don’t receive this attention from their parents, they will establish this type of relationship with someone else or do something else. Members of their own peer group often fill this need through drug experimentation or questionable habits that make them important.
Teenagers • Enriching Christian literature at home will contribute to a great degree in confirming their Christian values and character.
Home as the First School
Home as the First School Importance of the Home School. The First Teachers. When to Begin Child Training. Methods of Teaching. Textbooks.
Importance of the Home School At home, the foundations and framework of character are laid and erected. A Training School. Home School Fashions Character. The home may be a school where the children are indeed fashioned in character after the likeness of heaven.
The father and the mother should be the first teachers of their children. “The training of children constitutes an important part of God’s plan for demonstrating the power of Christianity. A solemn responsibility rests upon parents so to train their children that when they go forth into the world, they will do good and not evil ...” -- Child Guidance, p. 21 The First Teachers
The First Teachers Unity and Cooperation Between Parents Husband and wife are to be closely united in their home-school work. Each is to help the other to bring into the home a pleasant, wholesome atmosphere. They should not differ in the presence of their children and should endeavor to preserve Christian dignity at all times.
When to Begin Child Training Start Education at Infancy – “Education begins with the infant in its mother’s arms. While the mother is molding and fashioning the character of her children, she is educating them.” -- Child Guidance, p. 26 Make a good beginning.
When to Begin Child Training Start When the Mind is Most Impressible “The work of education and training should commence with the babyhood of the child; for then the mind is the most impressible, and the lessons given are remembered.” -- Child Guidance, p. 26
When to Begin Child Training First Three Years – Mrs. E. G. White says that the foundation of character is laid during the first three years. Therefore, mothers must be sure that proper discipline is administered during this period.