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Learn how to effectively navigate and resolve conflicts in your relationship with practical strategies. This guide covers the importance of softening your approach, using "I" statements to express feelings without blame, and understanding emotional dynamics during disagreements. Discover how to convey acceptance and appreciation, manage flooding during discussions, and the critical role of repair attempts in keeping communication open. By mastering the art of compromise and negotiation, you can strengthen your relationship and foster a happier, healthier partnership.
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ConflictResolution How to discusstouchy subjects?
Is everykind of behaviorallowedin a conflict? Whatkind of restictions are there? For whatreasons?
Start of the conflict Most often, whobrings up a conflict? In a bar fight: If youimmediatelystartdrawingyour gun? Thus: do not startwith guns.
Softenyour start-upHow? Complain, but do not blame Makestatementsthatstartwith ‘I’ instead of ‘you’ Describewhatis happening Do not evaluate or judge Be clear Be polite Be appreciative Do not store things up
During the conflict Conveyacceptance and understanding For husbands: avoidharsh start-ups When? Beforeitisbrought-up How? Make sure sheis feeling known, respected and loved Make sure sheknowsthatyouaccepther influence
During the conflictRepairattempts What are repairattempts? Remarks to de-escalate; to keep the discussion focused on the issue; to recognizethatyou have goofed. Important! The repairattemptsgetthrough to the spouse
Whatseperates stable, emotionally intelligent marriagesfromothers? Happy marriages Othermarriages Couples send and receiverepairattemptsatease Even the mosteloquentrepairattemptsfallon deafears.
Flooding Whatisflooding? One reactstooemotionally; Body has a fight or flight reaction. The listenerisflooded and thencannotfunctionanymorecognitivelyappropriate Whenthisis the case: The listenerdoes not get the speaker’srepairattempt
FloodingWhat to do? Let yourspouse know thatyou are feeling flooded You need a break Break shouldtakeat least 20 minutes Do somethingsoothing and distracting likelistening to music or exercising
FloodingDifferencesbetween men and women men women Take longer to calm down Calm down much more easier
The corner stone of anyconflict: compromise: Accepting influence COMPROMISE THE ONLY SOLUTION TO MARITAL PROBLEMS
Conflictresolutionis not about changingyourpartner • It is about: • Negotiating • Findingcommonground • Findingways to accomodateeachother To cherish and to hold Untilyouacceptyourpartnes’sflaws and foibles, youwill not be able to compromise