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Child Discipline. Child Discipline. 10-1 GOD.IN.SIMPLICITY -- JEFF.IN -- 63-0317.1M

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slide2

Child Discipline

10-1 GOD.IN.SIMPLICITY -- JEFF.IN -- 63-0317.1M

Remember: Love is corrective, see--always. Genuine love is corrective. So, you must be able to stand the correction. And mothers know now that there's a place there for your baby. You young kids know different than to run around over the building, see. And you adults know different than to talk and carry on your conversations in the auditorium, see. Don't do that; it's wrong. It isn't pleasing to God.

slide3

Child Discipline

Correction should not just mean a spanking but instruction to teach the child

The objective is to get to the Heart or Soul of the Child so that they respond out of the love to do right.

slide4

We Are A Triune Being

Body

Doubt

Spirit

Faith

Soul

Heb 4:12

Imagination

Affection

Memory

Conscience

Reasoning

Feel

See

Taste

Smell

Hear

slide5

Child Discipline

1) Discipline means Instruction and begins before birth

"By the sixth month, the unborn child can see, hear, experience, taste and even learns while in the womb."

Communication in the womb can increase the capacity for learning outside the womb.

Research shows that a the unborn child has a greater capacity to respond to whatever material was spoken to him in the womb.

slide6

Child Discipline

2) Discipline can begin the day a child is born.

a) Routine also establishes contentment as it gives them limits on their freedom.

b) This will produce a baby that will not demand feeding.

If you allow demanding feeding this creates a child which nobody likes!

slide7

Funnel Effect Of Discipline

Child Becomes Adult

Free To Make His

Own Choice

Training

Years

Giving Them More

Rights & Responsibilities

Discipline Begins At

The Birth Of The Child

slide8

Child Discipline

3) How do you strengthen communication with the Soul of your children?

a) The key to a deepening relationship between a child & his parents depends upon the depth of the communication that the parents develop between their heart & the child's heart.

It all begins with the word "NO"!

It should be accompanied by a serious facial expression.

The opposite is true with the word "YES", the facial expressions of delight and approval should accompany it.

slide9

Child Discipline

3) How do you strengthen communication with the Soul of your children?

b) Parents must make sure what they are communicating from their Heart.

Eye to eye contact is needed.

Followed by "Yes Mum or Yes Dad"

You need to make sure your actions are consistent with your words.

slide10

Child Discipline

3) How do you strengthen communication with the Soul of your children?

c) This heart felt experience is the only lasting basis of communication.

Window to the Soul is sometimes opened. Don't rearrange the furniture!

Given a pen to write upon their Soul.

slide11

Primary Conscience

Supplies the sense of right & wrong

1) God given sense of right & wrong

Spirit

Mind

2) Fear of rejection & accountability

3) Man's primary sense of shame

Moral Conscience

Supplies the standards of right & wrong

Soul

Heart

1) Warns when about

to do wrong

3) Prompts to do right

5) Trainable

Part

2) Accuses when wrong

is done ~ Guilt

4) Confirms when right

is done ~ Approval

slide12

Child Discipline

c) This heart felt experience is the only lasting basis of communication.

After the child is three years old they are ready to know the moral reason "WHY" you are giving them instructions

If this spiritual line of communication is not developed, there is often little reason in the child's mind to continue communicating with his parents after he grows up.

slide13

Child Discipline

3) How do you strengthen communication with the Soul of your children?

d) The three things that destroys the communication are, when you wound the soul of the child by;

i) Anger

ii) Name calling

iii) Saying you cannot please me.

slide14

Child Discipline

4) There is a need to define responsibilities in discipline.

a) Inconsistency in instruction and "rule setting" will result when parents have not worked out their individual responsibilities for training the child.

Father gives the commands

Mother administers the law (or how to's)

slide15

E-29 INFLUENCE -- PHOENIX.AZ -- 1963

I had my little son Joseph on my lap the other day, He's eight years old, and some little boy stepped on his toes. And he and the little boy had a fight. So I said, "Joseph, don't do that." He said, "But Daddy, he did such-and-such." I said, "But that doesn't matter, see, what he did. Just remember, Joseph, that you love your father." He said, "Yes, Daddy." I said, "Then remember, that people are going to look at your life as a minister's son. And then if you do anything wrong, then they're going to say, `Does this minister permit his child to do such?'"

slide16

Now we know they do it anyhow. But we know as Christians, we know that we try to bring up our children right. But it's a good thing to keep that before them all the time--to do what's right. Don't never take that other side. So I said, "Because you see, that doesn't only reflect on you, Joseph, but it reflects on your mother, reflects on your sisters, it reflects on your father, and the very cause of the family--what we're standing for. And then what we stand for, it reflects on that, on Jesus Christ.

slide17

You don't want to do that." I said, "Our Lord told us if somebody smites us on one cheek, just turn the other." Of course, that's kind of hard for a little boy with a hot temper to begin with, to think of such things. But place it before him anyhow, see, that he should not do it.

slide18

Child Discipline

5) As parents you must communicate to the mind and heart of the child.

slide19

Primary Conscience

Supplies the sense of right & wrong

1) God given sense of right & wrong

Spirit

Mind

2) Fear of rejection & accountability

3) Man's primary sense of shame

Moral Conscience

Supplies the standards of right & wrong

Soul

Heart

1) Warns when about

to do wrong

3) Prompts to do right

5) Trainable

Part

2) Accuses when wrong

is done ~ Guilt

4) Confirms when right

is done ~ Approval

slide20

Obedience vs. Willfulness

Freedom to be creative under

the protection of divinely-

appointed authority. 2Co 10:5

Truthfulness vs. Deception

Earning future trust by

accurately reporting past

facts. Eph 4:25

Gratefulness vs. Unthankfulness

Making known to God and

others in what ways they have

benefited my life. 1Cor 4:7

Meekness vs. Anger

Yielding my personal rights

and expectations to God.

Psalm 62:5

Self-Control vs. Self-Indulgence

Instant obedience to the initial

promptings of God's Spirit.

Galatians 5:24-25

Sincerity vs. Hypocrisy

Eagerness to do what is right

with transparent motives.

1 Peter 1:22

Enthusiasm vs. Apathy

Expressing with my spirit the

joy of my soul.

1 Thessalonians 5:16,19

Punctuality vs. Tardiness

Showing high esteem for the

other people and their time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Joyfulness vs. Self-Pity

The spontaneous enthusiasm

of my spirit when my soul is in

fellowship with the Lord.

Ps 16:11

Patience vs. Restlessness

Accepting a difficult situation

from God without giving Him a

deadline to remove it.. Ro 5:3-4

Flexibility vs. Resistance

Not setting my affections on

ideas or plans which could be

changed by God or others.

Colossians 3:2

Virtue vs. Impurity

The moral excellence and

purity of spirit that radiate from

my life as I obey God's Word.

2Pe 1:5

Forgiveness vs. Rejection

Clearing the record of those

who have wronged me and

allowing God to love them

through me. Eph 4:32

Diligence vs. Slothfulness

Visualizing each task as a

special assignment from the

Lord and using all my energies

to accomplish it. Col 3:23

Contentment vs. Covetousness

Realizing God has provided

everything that I need for my

present happiness.

1Tim 6:8

Boldness vs. Fearfulness

Confidence that what I have to

say or do is true and right and

just in the sight of God.

Acts 4:29

Security vs. Anxiety

Structuring my life around that

which is eternal and cannot be

destroyed or taken away.

John 6:27

Dependability vs. Inconsistency

Fulfilling what I consented to do

even if it means unexpected

sacrifice. Psalm 15:4

Deference vs. Rudeness

Limiting my freedom in order

not to offend the tastes of

those God has called me to

serve. Romans 14:21

Generosity vs. Stinginess

Realizing that all I have belongs

to God and using it for His

purposes. 2 Corinthians 9:6

Love vs. Selfishness

Giving to others' basic needs

without having as my motive

personal reward.

1 Corinthians 13:3

Humility vs. Pride

Recognizing that God and

others are actually responsible

for the achievements in my life

James 4:6

Hospitality vs. Loneliness

Cheerfully sharing food, shelter

and spiritual refreshment with

those God brings into my life.

Hebrews 13:2

Orderliness vs. Disorganization

Preparing myself and my

surroundings so that I will

achieve the greatest efficiency

1 Cor 14:40

slide21

Child Discipline

5) As parents you must communicate to the mind and heart of the child.

a) You need to realize the importance of learning character qualities.

i ) It reveals the true nature of Christ who is our perfect fulfillment of each quality.

ii ) It is the basis for success in life.

iii ) It explains why things happen to us.

slide22

Child Discipline

5) As parents you must communicate to the mind and heart of the child.

b) The need to memorize the operational definition of the character qualities.

Operational definition goes beyond the dictionary to include the practical functions of the term.

Listening goes beyond hearing to the understanding of what is said.

Nodding, smiling, taking notes, asking questions, or just making comments are manifestations of listening.

slide23

Child Discipline

5) As parents you must communicate to the mind and heart of the child.

c) Identify the quality in scripture.

e.g. Attentiveness would includes listening, hearing, giving ear, and being still.

slide24

117-1 SMYRNAEAN.CHURCH.AGE -- CPT.4

Unless we suffer with Him we cannot reign with Him. You have to suffer to reign. The reason for this is that character simply is never made without suffering. Character is a VICTORY, not a gift. A man without character can't reign because power apart from character is Satanic. But power with character is fit to rule. And since He wants us to share even His throne on the same basis that He overcame and is set down in His Father's throne, then we have to overcome to sit with Him. And the little temporary suffering we go through now is not worthy to be compared to the tremendous glory that will be revealed in us when He comes.

slide25

Child Discipline

5) As parents you must communicate to the mind and heart of the child.

d) Balancing with related qualities is a must.

No character quality stands alone; it needs others to keep if from being used in appropriately or incompletely.

e.g. Attentiveness must be balanced with Discernment and combined with Obedience.

slide26

Obedience vs. Willfulness

Freedom to be creative under

the protection of divinely-

appointed authority. 2Co 10:5

Truthfulness vs. Deception

Earning future trust by

accurately reporting past

facts. Eph 4:25

Gratefulness vs. Unthankfulness

Making known to God and

others in what ways they have

benefited my life. 1Cor 4:7

Meekness vs. Anger

Yielding my personal rights

and expectations to God.

Psalm 62:5

Self-Control vs. Self-Indulgence

Instant obedience to the initial

promptings of God's Spirit.

Galatians 5:24-25

Sincerity vs. Hypocrisy

Eagerness to do what is right

with transparent motives.

1 Peter 1:22

Enthusiasm vs. Apathy

Expressing with my spirit the

joy of my soul.

1 Thessalonians 5:16,19

Punctuality vs. Tardiness

Showing high esteem for the

other people and their time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Joyfulness vs. Self-Pity

The spontaneous enthusiasm

of my spirit when my soul is in

fellowship with the Lord.

Ps 16:11

Patience vs. Restlessness

Accepting a difficult situation

from God without giving Him a

deadline to remove it.. Ro 5:3-4

Flexibility vs. Resistance

Not setting my affections on

ideas or plans which could be

changed by God or others.

Colossians 3:2

Virtue vs. Impurity

The moral excellence and

purity of spirit that radiate from

my life as I obey God's Word.

2Pe 1:5

Diligence vs. Slothfulness

Visualizing each task as a

special assignment from the

Lord and using all my energies

to accomplish it. Col 3:23

Contentment vs. Covetousness

Realizing God has provided

everything that I need for my

present happiness.

1Tim 6:8

Forgiveness vs. Rejection

Clearing the record of those

who have wronged me and

allowing God to love them

through me. Eph 4:32

Boldness vs. Fearfulness

Confidence that what I have to

say or do is true and right and

just in the sight of God.

Acts 4:29

Security vs. Anxiety

Structuring my life around that

which is eternal and cannot be

destroyed or taken away.

John 6:27

Dependability vs. Inconsistency

Fulfilling what I consented to do

even if it means unexpected

sacrifice. Psalm 15:4

Deference vs. Rudeness

Limiting my freedom in order

not to offend the tastes of

those God has called me to

serve. Romans 14:21

Generosity vs. Stinginess

Realizing that all I have belongs

to God and using it for His

purposes. 2 Corinthians 9:6

Love vs. Selfishness

Giving to others' basic needs

without having as my motive

personal reward.

1 Corinthians 13:3

Humility vs. Pride

Recognizing that God and

others are actually responsible

for the achievements in my life

James 4:6

Hospitality vs. Loneliness

Cheerfully sharing food, shelter

and spiritual refreshment with

those God brings into my life.

Hebrews 13:2

Orderliness vs. Disorganization

Preparing myself and my

surroundings so that I will

achieve the greatest efficiency

1 Cor 14:40

slide27

Child Discipline

5) As parents you must communicate to the mind and heart of the child.

e) Now list when & where the character quality is to be used

And at least eighty percent of the communication in our lives depends upon Attentiveness.

So, Attentiveness should be the first character quality learned.

slide28

Child Discipline

6) Design guidelines to learn the quality.

Attentiveness vs. Unconcerned

a) one must learn to sit still for a given period of time

b) Do not talk while others are speaking

c) Lean forward when being spoken to

d) Take notes during sermons or instruction

e) And maintain eye contact during conversations

slide29

Child Discipline

7) When problems come turn them into character quality classes.

Lord giving you specially situations in which you can better understood them and apply them.

This is a good reason to give thanks for the trails & temptations

You can now look at them as character building friends rather than resented intruders in your life.

slide30

E-12 BE.NOT.AFRAID -- RICHMOND.VA -- 61-0311

If you seen your child doing something, he was going to kill hisself with it, wouldn't you help that child? If you had to give him a little, posterior protoplasm stimulation, you know, just really pore it on him. You, you'd better off to do that, then it would be to let the kid get killed, don't you think so? Certainly. If you'd really have to correct him and whip him and make him behave. Well, that's the way God does us. And here's His whip, is the Gospel. It's sharper than a two-edged sword. Really cutting. And if a servant is called of God, he won't compromise on one word.

slide31

NON-MORAL

Verbal Praise

Cause & Effect

(Development for skills & talents)

Skills & Talents

Goal Incentives

Encouragement With

Property

I

N

S

T

R

U

C

T

I

O

N

Related

Consequences

Childishness

Warning

Privileges

MORAL

Personal

Responsibility

Three Levels Of Offense

Correction

Admonishment Verbal

Natural

Consequences

Foolishness

Admonishment With Action

PAIN

Helps them focus

Consequences

& Punishment

Logical

Consequence

Structured

Consequence

Isolation

Verbal Reminders

Chastisement

Behaviour

Pre-Activity

Dialogue Questions

Positive Words

Encouragement

Encouragement With

Affirmation

Post-Activity

Rewards

slide32

Child Discipline

Conclusion:

We need to realise that child rearing only last for part of your life.

You only get one shot at it and it is best to equip yourself for the best shot.

You need to rely on God's Grace