Conflict Management. Arguing -- Is usually a battlefield for a bigger issue. What is conflict?. A battle, contest or opposing forces existing between primitive desires and moral, religious or ethical ideas ( Webster’s Dictionary )
Is usually a battlefield for a bigger issue.
BehaviorBehaviors when dealing with a diversity of people:
As you discovered through the conflict resolution assessment, our natural inclinations usually place us into one of these styles.
If you find yourself adopting a conflict style that you’re not happy about…
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Implement your plan persistently
Step 3. Make an agreement for change
“When you do X (behavior),
Y (consequences) happens,
and I have Z (feelings).”
Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint
Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change
Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model
Step 2. Agree on the problem(s)
Step 3. Develop alternative solutions
Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up
At times you may sense conflict at work, but
not know exactly why.
The conflict self-assessment will help you to pinpoint the specific area in which you are experiencing conflict so that you can begin to resolve it. The areas addressed are supervisor, self, peers, employees, and productivity.
If you answered “Yes” to any of the above you are not “fighting fair” and you are creating an interaction pattern of “I win, you lose”.
Adopt the right frame of mind
When you are ready to approach
the other person remember to:
Your desire to win, punish, or control
Your desire that everything be “fair”
Your assumption that it won’t work
Your tendency to think in “black and white”, “right or wrong”
Your determination to be right.
Take With You…
A willingness to work at this
An understanding that “perception is reality” both for you and those around you.
A willingness to learn from the situation
A willingness to see and acknowledge your own contribution to the problem.Your Attitude
Others impression of you is based on:
Consider time factors
Anger and negative feelings
tend to fester if not dealt with quickly!!
Set some ground rules!
In addition to general rules, it is helpful to agree on how you will talk with each other
The Actual Discussion
Listen to really understand the other person’s feelings, needs, Reflect back.
- Take turns offering alternative solutions. List them all.
- Agree on a solution you both understand and can live with.
Get together after
some time and see
how the new arrangement is
working for both parties
1. If you sense a spoken or unspoken conflict in a meeting over an issue, address it.
“There seems to be some disagreement over this issue. Can we take a few minutes to clarify the issue.
2. Clarify the conflict.
“O.K. so there seems to be some disagreement over…….”
“Since this seems to be quite an important issue and we don’t have much time today. Let’s agree to meet again to discuss it further. Can we meet on….”
4. If another meeting is necessary, assign responsibility for gathering more information on the subject to staff.
“Sue, can you please research information on…. And Diane can you please check on that State mandate.”
“We have a lot of other issues to discuss today so let’s free our minds of this issue until the set meeting and move on.”
- Substance is important to the manager but not relationship
- Neither substance outcome nor relationship is important to the manager.
Walker and Harris (1995) offer the following practical tips for implementing the 9,9 style. Encouraging behavior occurs when a team member:
1. Avoids feelings or perceptions that imply the other person is wrong or needs to change.
2. Communicates a desire to work together to explore a problem or seek a solution.
3. Exhibits behavior that is spontaneous and destruction-free.
4. Identifies with another team member’s problems, shares feelings, and accepts the team member’s reaction.
5. Treats other team members with respect and trust.
6. Investigates issues rather than taking sides on them.
To conclude conflict management technique looks for WIN-WIN situation for both the parties