Linking Lake Norman Shedding Light on Bullying and Suicide Prevention

1. Linking Lake NormanShedding Light on Bullying and Suicide Prevention Shannon White, LPC of the Counseling Center at Davidson United Methodist Church Emily Grimes, LCSW Mobile Crisis Director at Daymark Recovery Services Let’s come together and refuse to suffer in silence any longer. This event is dedicated to Jocelyn Desmond

2. Definition of Bullying • Bullying is defined as an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically, socially or mentally.

3. Warning Signs Your child may be victim of Bullying • Damaged or missing clothing and belongings • Unexplained cuts, bruises or torn clothes • Lack of friends • Frequent claims of having lost pocket money, possessions, packed lunches or snacks • Fear of school or leaving the house • Avoidance of places, friends, family members or activities they once enjoyed • Unusual routes to and from the bus stop • Poor appetite, headaches, stomach aches • Mood swings • Trouble sleeping • Lack in interest in schoolwork • Talk about suicide • Uncharacteristic aggression toward younger siblings or family members

4. Practical things Parents and Schools can do to confront Bullying • Shut down a personal website, blog, Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter if necessary • Make clear to young people what kinds of messages are harmful and inappropriate. • Encourage teens not to respond to cyber-bullying. • School counselors or counselors within the community can hold programs in order to educate them on the impact of bullying.

5. Practical things Parents and Schools can do to confront Bullying • Teachers can enforce classroom rules against bullying and have consistent consequences when they see this behavior. • Role playing exercises help others put themselves in a victim’s shoes or provide examples of ways to stand up for yourself. • Teachers can also partner students together for assignments instead of letting them choose their own partner. • PTA meetings can inform parents about bullying, and encourage parents to stay actively involved in their child’s life. Parents also have the opportunity to speak up if they feel teachers are unaware of certain bullying issues.

6. Practical things Parents and Schools can do to confront Bullying • Parents and teachers can observe whether a child has had a change in behavior, physical appearance or their confidence level has declined. • Open ended questions, such as “I’ve noticed you seem really sad lately. Can you talk to me about that?” are best to gain information. LISTEN for the answers. • Above all, speak truth into your child/student about their true identity.

7. Adolescent Brain

8. Adolescent Brain Development • How it works To Calm the Brain Parents can • Listen • Believe them • Let them know they are NOT Alone

9. VALIDATION • Validation doesn’t mean you agree with everything they say, feel or do. • Validation is conveying that you hear them, what they feel makes sense and what they feel matters.

10. Suicide as a Solution to a Problem • Help adolescents realize they have other choices and there are other solutions, therefore eliminating the need for suicide.

11. Red Flags for Suicidal Behavior • IS PATH WARM? • Ideation – Threatened or communicated, talking or writing about • Substance abuse – Excessive or increased use • Purposeless – feeling or stating there is ‘No reason for living’ • Anxiety – Agitation, unable to sleep or sleeping all the time • Trapped – Feeling there is no way out • Hopelessness • Withdrawal– From friends, family, society • Anger (uncontrolled) – Rage, seeking revenge • Recklessness – Risky acts, unthinking , impulsive • Mood Change – dramatic

12. Suicide Statistics in USA • Suicide takes the lives of nearly 30,000 Americans every year. • 80 suicides every day • Up to 100 suicide attempts for each completed suicide • Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the U.S. (homicide is 15th). (CDC) • Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-old Americans. (CDC)

13. Suicide Statistics cont. • An average of one person dies by suicide every 16.2 minutes. (CDC, AAS) • Out of every 10 suicides in USA -8 male and 2 female -9 white, 1 non-white • 1 in 65,000 children ages 10 to 14 commit suicide each year. • The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression.

14. Suicide Statistics cont. • Many who attempt suicide never seek professional care. • Between 1952 and 1995, suicide in young adults nearly tripled. • Suicide rates in the United States are highest in the spring. • 15% of those who are clinically depressed die by suicide. • In 2010, depression became the #1 disability in the world. (World Health Organization)

15. How to talk to someone who may be suicidal Important to say to the person, “Are you feeling suicidal?” This will not introduce the thought, nor increase the thought. • Risk Assessment: How dangerous is the client? Are they alone? Do they have a weapon? • Ideation: Are you having thoughts of self-harm? Are you having thoughts of killing yourself? • Plan: Do you have a plan or method? Do you have means? • Intent: Do you want to die? What is stopping you from killing yourself? • Help them find= reason for living, other solutions to problems besides suicide

16. Resources • 911 • Emergency Room • Mobile Crisis • Counselor (www.counselingcenteratdumc.org) • School Guidance Counselor • Teachers/Coaches/Parents • Hotlines

17. Survivor’s Guilt and How to Heal • Bereavement for the loss of a loved one following suicide is unique to each individual, however the process survivors tend to follow toward healing is surprisingly uniform. • Survivorsoften feel shock, disbelief, protest, disorganization, and anger. They may also feel intense guilt and anxiety; a haunting feeling that they are to blame. • Survivors often feel that they did not do enough to save the person who died: "If only I had said…" "If only I had done…." "Why didn't I see the signs?" • These feelings are difficult to reconcile; the family and friends may feel persistent, troubling concerns that are referred to as "survivor guilt."

18. Coping and Healing • How can you cope? • You can not do it alone! • Now is the time to ask for help and recruit a community of friends and family to help ease the burden of the bereavement process.

19. Q & A