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The 7 Stages of Marriage

The 7 Stages of Marriage. Presented by Rita DeMaria, Ph.D. Council for Relationships July 3, 2008 Smart Marriages Happy Families San Francisco, CA. The Timeline of Marriage Embrace Change. Every marriage is unique. Change never, ever stops. Incredible, inevitable journey Live your stage.

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The 7 Stages of Marriage

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  1. The 7 Stages of Marriage Presented by Rita DeMaria, Ph.D. Council for Relationships July 3, 2008 Smart Marriages Happy Families San Francisco, CA

  2. The Timeline of MarriageEmbrace Change • Every marriage is unique. • Change never, ever stops. • Incredible, inevitable journey • Live your stage. • Cultivate love

  3. What difference does a Stage make? • Life experience is dynamic, changing and dimensional • Life cycle development is predictable • Life cycle development is individual, interactional, and intergenerational • Life cycle development is marked by the passing of time

  4. What is unique about the “7 Stages”? • Developmental issues and tasks have been identified • Normative events are described • Practical exercises and activities useful in educational workshops and counseling practice

  5. The Benefit of Knowing the 7 Stages • Provides a roadmap for today and tomorrow • Normalizes the experiences of marriage • Knowing the missions for the stages provides focus

  6. Marriage Today • Marriage is a value • What the Stats tell us • The Reader's Digest Survey • The Benefits of Marriage

  7. Reader’s Digest SurveyThe Survey Says….. • Marriage Isn’t Broken • It’s Really About Trust • Laughter is More Important than Sex • Guys Get Gushy About Marriage, Too • Challenges Make Us Stronger

  8. 7 Stages at a Glance • Passion • Realization • Rebellion • Cooperation • Reunion • Explosion • Completion

  9. Measuring Your MarriageLife Long Journey • Stages don’t have start times – or ending dates. • Two stages can overlap. • You can “repeat” or revisit an earlier stage. • You can use the lessons of an earlier stage to enhance your current stage.

  10. PASSION The Love Cocktail – Know the essential ingredients

  11. The Missions • Mission 1 – Savor the Passion • Mission 2 – Forge a Sense of “We” • Mission 3 – Learn your Love Languages • Mission 4 – Build Emotional Intimacy • Mission 5 – Expand Your Sexual Vocabulary

  12. REALIZATION The rose-colored glasses come off now – differentiation begins

  13. The Missions • Mission 1: Understand your Expectations • Mission 2: Open, Honest Talking • Mission 3: Learn Empathetic Listening • Mission 4: Be Friends • Mission 5: Split Household Chores Fairly • Mission 6: Become a Money Team

  14. REBELLION Me, Me, Me! Growth through conflict - from control to compromise.... on to negotiation

  15. The Missions • Mission 1: Turn Power Struggles into Acceptance • Mission 2: Move from Conflict to Problem- Solving • Mission 3: Set and Pursue Healthy Personal Goals • Mission 4: Renew Your Spirituality • Mission 5: Recover from Infidelities • Mission 6: Forgive Your Spouse and Yourself

  16. COOPERATION Lots to do – work, family, friends, future planning Not enough time Not enough money Not enough sexual intimacy

  17. The Missions • Mission 1: Let Parenthood Strengthen Your Marriage • Mission 2: Settle Conflicts – and Connect as Friends • Mission 3: Invite Romance Back into Your Marriage • Mission 4: De-Stress – and Make Love Again

  18. REUNION The First Stage of the Rest of Your Marriage – strengthening mutuality

  19. The Missions • Mission 1: Shift Your Focus Back to Your Marriage • Mission 2: Get off Autopilot • Mission 3: Welcome Boomerang Kids – Without Neglecting Your Marriage • Mission 4: Use Your Marriage to Create Good Health

  20. EXPLOSION Random Crises Health -physical/emotional Work Family Trauma

  21. Caring for Aging Parents • Mission 1: Make Care giving a Team Effort • Mission 2: Enjoy Your Marriage

  22. Depression • Mission 1: Fight the Depression • Mission 2: Protect Your Marriage – and Yourself

  23. Job Loss • Mission 1: Set a New Budget – and New Priorities • Mission 2: Support Each Other

  24. Weight Gain • Mission 1: Feel Good about Your Body • Mission 2: Take care of your health and reduce your spouse’s anxiety

  25. COMPLETION Recreating and Enjoying Life Continuity and Loss

  26. The Missions • Mission 1: Keep Your Marriage Growing • Mission 2: Play – And Be in the Moment • Mission 3: Share a New Sense of Meaning and Purpose • Mission 4: Reorganize Your Time, Your Territory, Your Tasks

  27. Applications for Workshops

  28. Applications in Counseling Couples

  29. Thank you! • Rita DeMaria, Ph.D. • 215-628-2450 • marriagedoctor@aol.com • www.marriagedoctor.com • Note: The actual presentation PPT presentation may differ from the handout copy. Participants may contact Rita DeMaria for an updated handout.

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