Conversation killers

1. Conversationkillers

2. Avoiding or Ducking Issues. - Sometimes you are deep in discussion with someone, when quite inadvertently you make a comment or reference that triggers off an unexpected explosion of say. • Having All The Answers. - Lecturing about the wrongness of the person’s behavior may be offending. Do not underestimate their capacity to work out the pros and cons of things for them selves.

3. Me, Me, Me - You may be the subject you are most familiar with but you most avoid talking constantly about yourself. • Avoid Repeating - Repetition is a real conversational killer. Repetition annoys most listeners very quickly and just as quickly, the conversation is dead.

4. Avoid Interrupting - Never interrupt others when the are talking. Conversation is easily killed by constant interruption. Learning to listen is critical. • Making Demands - Demand makers often try to disguise their demand as a question but their body language gives them away.

5. Using the right language

6. “A word is a shot fired”. • “Words are slippery and thought is vicious”. • Once a word has been allowed to escape, it can never be recalled.

7. Avoid to many fillers like “ums”, “ers”, “actually”, “you know”, and the like. Use them sparingly. Excessive use of these can become an unbreakable habit that detracts from what you are saying. • Watch out for jargon. They alienate the listener. • Watch your endearments. Too much use or ‘my dear’, ‘my love’, ‘sweetheart’ can appear patronizing or over-familiar. Unless you are in a theatrical environment where such effusions are part of the common currency of conversation.

8. Avoid offensive dogmatic expressions. Prefacing statements with ‘The fact is, the truth is, or definitely…makes them seem to see their views as universal truths. ‘In my opinion, ‘my view is’, ‘I firmly believe that…’ would be more tactful. • Use the word ‘we’ only when you mean we. • Don’t overuse ‘one’. It obscures meaning. • If someone uses a word you do not understand, ask for an explanation. Don’t try to feign understanding.

9. Do not point out mispronunciation or misuse of words. That’s humiliating if done in public. • Try to improve your own vocabulary. Read and be more adaptable in conversation and able to talk to a wider range of people. • Don’t worry if you cannot find the right word in conversation. • Avoid slang and swearing particularly with people you do not know well. • Be animated. Use nonverbal cues, vocalics and gestures.