Family violence and abuse

Family violence and abuse

FAMILY VIOLENCE AND ABUSE: “Our homes may be the most dangerous places for us to be, especially if we are young or female”.

Is spanking abuse? • Social norms - “spare the rod & spoil the child” • NB case

PREVALENCE (Likely underestimated) • 1 MILLION children assault their parents yearly. • 40% occur on weekends and in or around victims home. • More violence in low-income, low-status families but anyone is capable of it.

BATTERING: • Common couple violence: More routine forms of partner violence that results from disputes and disagreements.

CAUSES OF SPOUSE ABUSE - TRUE or FALSE Explain your answer T T T T T T T T • Low self esteem • Abused as a child • Low income • High income • Unable to resolve conflicts • Conflicts over division of labor • Drinking (35-90%) • Wife is more educated

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

WHY WOMEN STAY IN VIOLENT RELATIONSHIPS • Economic dependence • Religious pressure • Children need a father • Fear of being alone • Belief in Canadian/American Dream • Guilt, shame • Duty & responsibility • Fear for her life • Love • Nowhere else to go

WHY WOMEN STAY IN VIOLENT DATING RELATIONSHIPS • Romantic attitude about jealousy • Own parents were violent • View possessiveness as love

The silent witness program • http://www.silentwitness.ca/main-e.asp • http://www.silentwitness.ca/nb_honour.asp

CHILD ABUSE • 80% OF CHILD ABUSERS ARE • PARENTS OR OTHER RELATIVES • 3 out of 4 child slayings in industrialized world occur in USA • 1 out of 3 girls are sexually abused before they reach age 18 • 1 out of 5 boys will be sexually abused before they reach age 18

RISKS: • Child doesn’t match well with parent (emotional or developmental disabilities) • Parent under stress • Little community support (child care or medical care) CHILD + STRESS = ABUSE (Remove child or stress to avoid abuse)

Parental Characteristics • Abused as child • Belief in corporal discipline • May have spouse violence • Belief that father should dominate • Low self-esteem • Unrealistic expectations of children • Role reversal, uses child to gratify their needs • Unconcerned about seriousness of abuse

Child Characteristics • “Normal” but born out of wedlock or unplanned • “Abnormal” – low birth weight or serious illness • “Difficult” – may be fussy

Family Characteristics • Unemployment • Isolated • Low income, economic stress • Unsafe neighborhood • Home is crowded, dirty, unhealthy • Often single parent (overstressed) • One or more family members has health problems • Larger family Sibling/sibling violence is most common form of family violence

IS THIS ABUSE? In groups discuss whether or not each of the following situations is abuse. Activity: • A girl is slapped for screaming at her mother; the slap stings, but leaves no lasting mark or pain. • A boy is punished in a way that requires stitches. • A father burns his daughter’s palms with a lighted cigarette when he finds her smoking. • A mother is careless and spills scalding coffee on her daughter, who is seriously burned. • A boy’s arm is broken after wrestling with his father for sport. • A girl is spanked so hard she is badly bruised, but the father says he did not mean to hurt her. • A boy is grounded for a week for a minor offense. • A father takes away his son’s driver’s license for getting a parking ticket. • A young mother was asked to get help and get off drugs but her baby was born addicted to drugs.

SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME – NEVER SHAKE A BABY • Head trauma is the leading cause of disability and death among infants and children. • Violent shaking is involved in many of these cases. • The brain keeps vibrating within the skull cavity after shaking occurs. • The brain swells, creating pressure, leading to retinal bleeding and can lead to blindness. • Veins feeding the brain are torn away, leading to brain damage or brain visual disability, speech disability, and seizures.

PHYSICAL ABUSE: Non-accidental injury of a child that leaves marks, scars, bruises, or broken bones. Behavior indicators: • Aggressive or withdrawn • Afraid to go home • Stealing • Lying • Layered clothing

NEGLECT: Failure of parents or caretakers to provide needed, age appropriate care. Including food, clothing, shelter, protection from harm, supervision appropriate to the child’s development, hygiene, and medical care. Behavior indicators: • Hunger • Poor hygiene • Excessive sleepiness • Lack of appropriate supervision • Unattended physical problems or medical needs • Abandonment • Inappropriate clothing for weather conditions

EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Rejecting, terrorizing, berating, ignoring, and isolating, that is likely to cause serious impairment of the physical, social, mental, or emotional capacities of the child. • Behavior indicators: Failure to thrive • Speech disorders • Lags in physical development • Habit disorders, conduct disorders • Sleep disorders or inhibition of play • Aggressive or passive

SEXUAL ABUSE: Fondling, sexual intercourse, assault, rape, date rape, incest, child prostitution, exposure and pornography • Behavior indicators: Inappropriate sexual knowledge • Abrupt change in personality • Withdrawn • Poor peer relationships • Promiscuous behavior/seductive behavior • Sleep disturbances • Regressive behavior

CHILD SEX ABUSE • Pedophilia: Adult sexual attraction to prepubescent children that is intense and recurring; an adult’s use of children for sexual purposes. • Incest: Sexual intercourse between individuals too closely related to marry, usually interpreted to mean father/daughter, mother/son, or brother/sister. • At risk: 8-12 years, girls, stepfathers, poor parent relationships. (no relation between race & socio economics)

WHY CHILDREN DON’T TELL • Too young • Fear, threatened • Bribed • Affection • Told that the abuse is normal • Want to please adults • Guilt

WHAT TO DO IF A CHILD TELLS YOU ABOUT ABUSE: • Listen, do not infer, assume or interrogate. • Reassure the child that he/she has done the right thing by telling you and that you are glad they told you. • Make sure they understand it was not their fault. • Remain calm and accepting, don’t over react. • Do not promise not to tell. • Be honest and tell the child what to expect. • Reassure them you will do what needs to be done to make sure it doesn’t happen again. • Determine the child’s needs for safety.

It shouldn't hurt to be a child, spouse, or old

Family violence and abuse