Understanding Asexuality: Debunking Myths and Embracing Diversity

1. Asexuality 101

2. What Asexuality Is • An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction to anybody or anything. • It doesn’t mean an inability to have sexual arousal, drive, or activity – some asexual people have any or all of those things and some don’t. • Asexuality is a measure of sexual attraction only. • Non-asexual people are referred to as allosexual. Asexual people are colloquially called ‘aces.’

3. What Asexuality Isn’t • Impossible • Celibacy • Homophobia/Denial • Sociopathy • A medical disorder • A mental illness • Late maturity • Repression/Fear of sex • Inability to attract sexual partners • A result of sexual abuse • Attention-seeking

4. Demisexuality & Gray-A • A demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction until they form a strong emotional connection with someone, often (but not always) in a romantic relationship. • Gray-A is short for gray-asexuality – anywhere in between asexuality and sexuality – low sex drive and rare or situation-specific sexual attraction, among other things. It’s a general term. • Both are considered part of the ace community.

5. Attraction • Sexual Attraction – Desire or drive to engage in sexual behavior with the object of attraction. • Intense emotional interest in an individual, interpreted as an indicator of a potential romantic relationship and physical intimacy.

6. Romantic and Sexual Orientations Not mutually inclusive or exclusive. Also: Gynsexual/gynromantic Androsexual/androromantic Wtfromantic Graphic by asexual-not-a-sexual on tumblr, who’s a star.

7. The Kinsey Scale Heterosexuals Homosexuals 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 X Asexuals, breaking models since 1948

8. The Double Storms Model Sexual Orientation Romantic Orientation

9. Gerald Tippett • On the NZ soap opera “Shortland Street” • Biromantic Asexual • 2007-2010 Poppy On the American television show “Huge” Aromantic (?) Asexual June-August 2010

10. Kevin • Karen Healey’s Guardian of the Dead • Asexual of unknown romantic orientation • April 1st, 2010  Tori Beaugrand R. J. Anderson’s Quicksilver Aromantic Asexual January 1st, 2013

11. House • Season 8, Episode 9: Better Half • January 23, 2012

12. Real-Life Aces

13. LGBTQI(A?) • Sometimes included as part of LGBTQIA, sometimes not • Many asexual people consider themselves members of LGBT, but many do not • Note: many people in the “Yes” group are also trans*

14. Asexuality and LGBT • Some members of LGBT community object to asexuality being included because they believe that: • Asexuality isn’t “real” • Asexuality promotes slut-shaming, celibacy, homophobia, and/or rape culture • Asexual people are basically straight and/or “pass” • Asexual people don’t need safe spaces • Aces share nothing with other members of the LGBT • Many major LGBT organizations do not recognize and/or include asexuality.

15. Asexual Invisibility • Asexuality is not recognized as legitimate • Pressure to conform, perform, & put out • Romance and sex saturation in media • “Sex and/or Romance = Humanity” • “Sex = Love” • Invisibility is not passing (People use the word “asexual” in this sense a lot, and it’s a bit not good. Don’t do it.)

16. The TrevorProject • LGBTQ teen crisis helpline, circa 1998 • Also provides resources to LGBTQ teens, parents & schools • Began to educate line operators about asexuality, April 2012

17. Asexual Pride • Black Ring • Pride Flag • Ace of Spades/Hearts • Cake

18. How To Be Ace-Friendly • Be aware • Don’t make assumptions • Be educated • Understand what asexuality is and isn’t • Don’t erase aces • Make queer spaces safe and friendly places for asexual people • Like FUSE! Yay!

19. Questions? People are weird and complicated, and that’s the best thing about us.

20. Got you covered.