Flapdoodle Vs. The Real Thing

1. Flapdoodle Vs. The Real Thing

2. It’s July.You’re working hard planning how to teach your soon-to-be first graders to read, or your eighth graders math, or your tenth graders history. Or, you’rein front of your class, about to open your pie hole and start teaching---communicating. Which IDEAS will guide you? Huh? Answer me!

3. Let’s look at some ideas that WON’T help you one bit. In fact, these ideas will make you look reeeeaaallll stupid. And they won’t help your students to learn. Ready? I know I am!

4. 1.“Famous education theorists---Piaget, Vygotsky, Dewey, Gardner---provide useful information on how to teach.” Sh sh sh sure they do.

5. Famous education theorists---Piaget, Vygotsky, Dewey, Gardner---say almost NOTHING useful on how to design instruction and how to deliver instruction--teach. Whaaaaat!? Huh? Their ideas are: • Vague.It’s not clear what you’re supposed to do. • Over-generalized---don’t apply to your students. • Plain wrong---don’t work. • Totally insane. “I wonder how exactly (Dewey, Piaget, Vygotsky, Gardner) would teach kids to read?” Who cares? Because…

6. A cup of scientific research that provides FACTS (“Do it like THIS.”) is better… …than a whole bucket of cow pies--- especially if you’ve already had lunch.

7. 2.“You should be (child, student, learner) centered, instead of (Oh, no!) teacher centered.” This statement is really a clever insult. If you, as teacher, carefully plan instruction (objectives, exactly which examples to use, when students will practice, what a correct response means), “child-centered” persons will say that you are doing it for YOUR convenience. “You are teacher centered!!!” [For shame!] What bunk! Because…. …Carefully planned instruction (so called “teacher-centered” instruction) isEXACTLY what most students need!

8. The so-called child-centered teacher does not want to IMPOSE himself or herself on students by actually TEACHING them specific skills in a carefully planned way. “Heaven forbid I should teach! Then, again, I don’t know HOW!” “At Blowhole Elementary School, we have a child centered curriculum.” Oh, goody for you. Of course, most of your disadvantaged kids can’t read, but you sure LOVE them little chillens. By the way---I hear that pedophiles are pretty child centered, too.

9. Notice the irony! The so-called teacher-centered teacher teaches carefully and systematically, and students learn. Therefore, the so-called teacher-centered teacher is really doing good things for kids—is child centered.

10. But the so-called child-centered teacher does NOT teach systematically and carefully, and therefore many students do NOT learn.

11. The next several slides show data from project Follow Through. http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adiep/ft/151toc.htm • Follow Through ran for 25 years. [Longitudinal.] • It studied the educational achievement of 120,000 disadvantaged children living in 139 communities. [Large and diverse samples.] • It compared the effects of nine different “models” (kinds of curricula and teaching methods) on achievement and self-esteem, using objective measures. • Two of the models would be called “teacher centered”---Behavior Analysis and Direct Instruction. • The other seven models were all versions of so- called child-centered instruction. Let’s see how the kids did, shall we?

12. This figure shows how often each model produced significantly higher achievement than the other models. Notice that the “child-centered” models get their @$$es kicked by the “teacher-centered” models.

13. This shows how often each model produced significantly higher achievement in specific subjects than the other models.

14. This figure shows how kids taught with different models did on a standardized achievement test. Disadvantaged kids usually score in the 20thpercentile.Which models do good things for kids? Which models don’t?

15. Which models—teacher-centered or child-centered—are the models that “rule” in this field? The models that are promoted, sold in curriculum materials, taught to you, and that are the basis upon which you will be supervised and later evaluated, are… …the “child-centered” ones whose “philosophy” ranges from fluffy to nutty, and whose methods don’t work very well---especially with kids who need the most carefully designed and delivered (teacher-centered) instruction. I wonder whose side teacher educators are on. Look for the effects of what persons and groups promote, NOT how they advertise it. Because talk is cheap. And lots of persons lie to promote themselves and their ideas.

16. 3. “Best Practices.” How arrogant can you get? Only G-d knows what IS best. The term “best practice” is sugary code for “progressive” (child-centered) education---in which teachers are not supposed to “transmit information,” but are only to be “facilitators” as students “discover” knowledge. “Look, Little Melvin Moonpie!,” says Little Debbie Snackcake. “I discovered how to read.” Sh sh sh sure, you did, Little Debbie. There’s NO serious research showing that so-called best practices are the best that we have. IN fact, as you saw with Follow Through, serious research shows that “best practices” are…..wait for it….THE WORST for kids. http://darkwing.uoregon.edu/~adiep/ft/151toc.htm

17. 4. “Developmentally appropriate practices” Means the same as “best practices.” Clever word play designed to fool gullible ed students. “Who? ME?! Yup. You, Pilgrim. “I better NOT teach phonics. I’ve been told that it’s not developmentally appropriate.” [Riiiiiight. I guess being illiterate IS?] Whenever you hear someone say that a method is or isn’t developmentally appropriate, you should say to yourself, “What a moron!”

18. 5.“You can’t transmit knowledge. Students must construct knowledge. Therefore, most learning and instruction should be in the form of inquiry and discovery.” How would you like it if your doctor learned medicine that way? “Dr. Reed, Just stick your scalpel in different places in patients’ guts and see what happens. Eventually you’ll DISCOVER the right way andhundreds of wrong ways.” Blood squirting all over the place…. “Oooopsie! I guess THAT was a wrong way!” Or, “Just jump out of the airplane and try different things. Eventually you’ll discover how to open the parachute.” Sh sh sh suuuuure you will. SPLLLAAAAT!

19. It turns out that students learn MORE and learn faster when the teacher teaches in an explicit and direct way (teacher-centered). When students try to discover knowledge more on their own, it is confusing and filled with errors and misinterpretations of what they see. What does it even mean---discover knowledge? “Hey, guys, I discovered reading!!” Discovery and inquiry are the worst possible ways to teach essential skills (reading, math) to disadvantaged students. Remember Follow Through?

20. Besides… “The battles at Lexington and Concord were on April 18, 1775.” I believe I just transmitted knowledge. “Boys and girls. Here’s how to multiply these parentheses.” (6 + 5) (4 + 2) “First I multiply the FIRST numbers---6 and 4. Six times 4 is 24. So, I write 24. Then….” I believe I just transmitted some more knowledge. Persons who talk about students constructing knowledge have no idea what this even means. Are they mind readers?

21. The SANE and USEFUL way to look at learning is this: Teachers present examples (e.g., how to solve math problems) and students induce(figure out) the general idea (concept, rule, routine) that is revealed by the examples. Teachers can also TELL students a concept, rule, or routine, and then substantiate this with examples.

22. For instance, the teacher gives (models) a definition of the concept, civil war, and then gives five examples that are consistent with (have the same features as) the definition. Once students “get” the definition (because they can correctly identify the examples and nonexamples that the teacher JUST used), the teacher gives new examples and nonexamples and has the students use the DEFINTION to identify which is which. You can still say that the students “constructed” the definition, but the teacher GAVE them the information (examples and nonexamples) that enabled the students to do this constructing---which you can’t OBSERVE, anyway.

23. 6.“You should adapt instruction to your students’ learning styles.” It doesn’t get any dumber than this. Here’s Stephen Denig in “Multiple Intelligences and Learning Styles: Two Complementary Dimensions.” Teachers College Record Volume 106, Number 1, January 2004, pp. 96–111. Denig says…

24. “The Dunns (1993, 1999) define learning style as the way in which each person begins to concentrate on, process, internalize, and remember new and difficult academic content. [Yeah, but what on earth do those words mean?] Their model addresses 21 unique elements. [Gee. ONLY 21!!] Although no one is influenced by all 21 elements, most students are affected by 6 to 14. Those 21 elements are classified into environmental, emotional, sociological, physiological, and psychological variables…” I can’t wait to find out what some of these “elements” are. How about you?! Let’s see…..

25. “Environmental: This variable is composed of four elements: sound, light, temperature, and design. Sound: Some learners require absolute quiet to learn, while others do best with music or other sound in the background. Light: Some learners require bright learning [He means “light”?] to concentrate,whereas others require a softer and perhaps more focused light. Temperature: Some learners require warmth, whereas othersrequire a cooler environment, while concentrating on new anddifficult academic knowledge or skills. Design: Some prefer more formal seating (e.g., hard chairs),whereas others prefer casual, informal seating (e.g., sofa).” What is this, a resort or a school?!

26. “Emotional: This variable is also composed of four elements: Motivation: Some learners are eager to begin learning something new or difficult, whereas others need to be challenged by someone else to begin. Persistent: Some learners remain focused on an academic task until it has been completed, whereas others need to be reminded to complete the task at hand. Responsibility: Some do what is required, whereas others do the opposite of what they are supposed to do (conformists vs. nonconformists).”

27. “Intake: Some learners require a drink or something to eat; others ignore drink and food when concentrating on new and difficultmaterial. Time: Some prefer to concentrate in the morning, others in the early or late afternoon, and some prefer the evening. Mobility: Some sit and concentrate for long periods of time without much movement; others require the ability to move about.”

28. Gee, and we’ve only scratched the surface! There are 15 more!! • How about auditory learners? “I listen to the words on the page,” says Little Wendy Sweatsock.” • How about visual learners? “I need to see speech balloons coming out of my teacher’s mouth,” says Little Dingus O’Toole. • How about tactile learners? “I need to feel the colors,” says Little Sally Bait-Bucket.

29. How about olfactory learners? “I have to smellthe pages,” says Little Greta Cheesepockets. • How about kinestheticlearners? “I can’t learn math unless I’m dancingaround the room,” says Little Pavlova P. Pinecone. You think I’m making this stuff up? Well, I’m not.

30. There are a few small problems with this learning styles bizness… 1. There’s no such thing as learning styles. [Gee. I guess that pretty much brings the bus to a quick stop, Boy Howdy!] 2. The instruments that are supposed to identify learning styles are ridiculous. http://www.pricesys.com/ “Which do you prefer: playing with Play Doh or listening to music?” [What’s that got to do with learning? How about NOTHING?] 3. There’s no research showing that if you “adapt” instruction based on alleged learning styles students learn any better. 4. How could you possibly adapt instruction to 20 or more kids along 21 dimensions? Little Debbie Snackcake learns best while lounging on a couch drinking Mountain Dew from a sippy cup, between 9:35 and 10:15, with the room temperature between 73 and 76 degrees, while psychobilly music is playing at about 90 decibels. Don’t say anything to her or she’ll throw a fit.”

31. 7. “You should teach with the brain in mind. Use brain-based learning.” Is there some OTHER organ we didn’t think about? Have we been laboring under the delusion that we should teach with the spleen in mind? And why leave out the colon. Are we anti-colonites. After all, it’s 30 feet long! Must be important! How about buttocks-based learning? You got two hemispheres, just like the brain. AND….it talks! [I wonder if it can read. “Hey, more light!”]

32. Here’s what real scientists say about brain-based learning… “There really is no research that links learning strategies or classroom methods to changes in brain structure,” said John T. Bruer, president of the McDonnell Foundation in St. Louis and author of “The Myth of the First Three Years,” which debunked the notion that all is lost if a child does not receive proper stimuli by age 3. “Educators are making a very big mistake by wasting their time on ‘brain-based’ curricula.” “That hasn’t stopped a growing number of educators from believing that the world of education can be reborn via neuroscience and by buying what Sam Wineburg, professor at the College of Education at the University of Washington in Seattle, calls ‘snake oil.’” “Companies sell learning kits ‘based on the latest brain research,’ and professional development consultants peddle the concept to teachers. Teachers set up ‘left hemisphere-right hemisphere’ classrooms based on bad interpretation of research attributing learning style to the dominance of one side of the brain. Others decorate their rooms in pastels or use round flashcards because that is supposedly what brains prefer.”

33. Sounds like the same kind of scam as global warming! All hat. No cowboy. Strong conclusions. Weak evidence. Six eggs short of a dozen. You have to be dumb as a sack of hammers to buy this junk science.

34. We already know that certain ways of communicating (logically clear) result in students getting it. So, just communicate in THOSE ways. [Can observe][Can’t observe][Can observe] Communicate  Brain [?]  Students a Certain Way Learn | ^ V __________forget the brain _____| You don’t know anything about how your heart works, but it beats just fine.

35. 8. “Drill and kill!!” Practice is said to be boring and is said to kill interest and incentive. Just ask anyone who has mastered a musical instrument, a sport, dance, a part in a play, a martial art… These persons NEVER practice. They do it once, and that’s it! Anyone who tells you that you should not drill your students for a minute or so every day to build fluency, needs to get whacked on the back of the head with a wet fish. [Or a dry fish, if you’re out of wet fish.]

36. 9. “Instruction should be holistic.” You should NOT analyze reading into its main skills (elements) and then teach the skills in a logical sequence: what sounds the letters make  sounding out words  reading single words, word lists, sentences and stating what these mean. Instead, you should teach all the reading skills at the same, and also teach spelling, reading, and writing at the same time.”

37. What nonsense! The word “holistic” is new-age mind slop. Like “holistic healing.” Complex skills DO consist of simpler skill elements. It’s essential that students learn these first. You can’t solve math word problems if you don’t know the basic math operations, such as addition and multiplication. You can’t write or spell if you can’t read words. So, what should you teach first?

38. Advocates of “holism” argue that teaching the parts first is meaningless—just as learning how to swing an axe would be meaningless. But the learner doesn’t experience this is meaningless. The learner gets a kick out of mastering whatever the skill is. “I know how to hold this axe perfectly!” Besides, you will have the learner USE the “part skills” in a whole task routine as soon as you can.

39. 10. “You should design instruction to foster multiple intelligences.” Another idea fresh from Duncetown! Like you don’t have enough to do! Replace “intelligence” with “skill” or “talent.” Does it make a difference? Nooooo. The SANE idea is to teach in a way that best PRESENTS the material. • Poems are to be HEARD. • Plays are to be ACTED. • Paintings are to be SEEN. • Math problems [2Y = 12] are to be READ. Again, there’s NO scientific evidence that if you design instruction to foster multiple intelligences students learn any better or any more.

40. 11. “Tailor instruction to students’ background (family, culture). Make it relevant.” Since when is personal relevance what education is about? The purpose of education is to lead young persons OUT of the cave of their narrow perspectives and biased opinions, and help them to learn what they DON’T know and may not otherwise care about. The point is to expand the soul.

41. Besides, what if you have 10 cultures represented in your class? And how do you make math and science culturally relevant, anyway? “Boys and girls, let’s see how long it takes this python to eat Little Timmy. Get out your stop watches.”

42. 12. “You should develop your own materials. You should NOT use commercial materials because (1) one size does NOT fit all; and (2) commercial materials rob you of creativity.” You’re a certified bonehead if you DON’T use TESTED and EFFECTIVE commercial materials. Do surgeons go home and invent procedures for tomorrow’s operations, or do they follow the TESTED procedures shown step by step in surgical texts? Do musicians make their own instruments? Do carpenters make their own nails? Do dancers build the stage?

43. Besides… • You will not have the skills to develop effective materials for a whole curriculum. • It takes many years to develop these skills and then to develop materials. In the meantime, you will HARM your students by misteaching them. [Real moral!] • Do you want to spend hours every night preparing lessons (most of which won’t work, anyway)---when you don’t have to? Are you NUTS?!

44. If you use tested and effective materials that have been prepared FOR you, it gives you time to think of how to adapt instruction to different students, and to develop expansion activities---other stuff do so with the knowledge students have acquired. Good materials do NOT try to “fit all” with “one size.” Good materials TELL you how to use built-in assessments to adapt instruction--such as more practice and smaller steps. You just need to know how to evaluate materials. http://people.uncw.edu/kozloffm/assessing%20and%20improving%20curriculum%20materials.doc

45. You want to know why you’ll be told NOT to use commercial curriculum materials? Because: • There are effective materials available (from publishers and on the web) to teach anything you can think of. • They are cheap. • Anyone who can read and who has a personality can use them and teach effectively. • Therefore, do we really need ed schools, ed professors, more research on how to teach, advanced degrees in education? How do YOU spell “self-interest?” How do home schoolers do it without degrees in education?

46. 13. “You shouldn’t use scripted materials. They rob you of creativity.” Oh, really?! Do dancers write the dance notation? Do actors write the play? Do musicians write the score? Does the building contractor draw up the blue prints? Do attorneys make the laws? No. These are complex activities. They require a division of labor. • Some persons do research on effective instruction. • Other persons use this research to develop the procedures; e.g., materials that tell you exactly how to teach and assess every reading skill. • And still other persons use the materials to communicate effectively with students so that students “get” the general ideas from the examples and explanations given by the teacher.

47. Do you think dancers feel UNcreative because they follow the choreography? Their creativity is in the grace and perfection of the DELIVERY. Do you think a martial artist feels robbed of creativity because Master Chen developed a kata (a form, a fighting routine) 1500 years ago? No, the martial artist feels HONORED to ENACT what Master Chen developed. Moreover, he or she does a better job BECAUSE of Master Chen’s work.

48. Besides, learning the scripted procedures teaches YOU how to design the communication that is scripted---just as playing the same tune from sheet music teaches you the melody. This enables you to do it yourself later. What’s the difference to you whether you write the script or someone else (a master of design) does? The point is to teach your students! Oh, you say you don’t want to use ANY scripts—not even scripts that you write? You’d rather wing it----standing in front of your class stuttering and stammering and rambling and making no sense. Good idea. How about if your physician operated that way?

49. 14. “Our job is to promote social justice.” No it isn’t, Dear Heart! Our job is to educate kids so that: (1) they won’t be ignorant morons; (2) they will internalize and pass on the best aspects of the culture/civilization; (3) we can preserve our culture/civilization against Time (entropy) and our enemies, foreign and domestic. The public has not asked us to be social reformers. Anyone who tells you that your job is to promote social justice is trying to recruit you to THEIR cause and agenda. Are you going to let them treat you like a sheep. Are you going to Baaaaaa as you are told?

50. There’s only ONE model/picture of learning and instruction that you need. And here it is. Ready?