Veterans and Intimate Partner Violence

1. Veterans and Intimate Partner Violence Dr. Elena Klaw Psych 190: Warriors at Home

2. Understanding Partner Violence • Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships • What is abuse? • What are risk factors for vets? • What is the cycle of violence? • Why is it hard to leave an abusive relationship? • What can you do if you know someone in an abusive relationship?

3. Film Clip: Domestic Violence in the Military • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UQzKuE69XE

4. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships • There is a difference…

5. Understanding Abuse • Healthy relationships are based on trust and mutual respect. You grow more! • Unhealthy & abusive relationships are based on power and control. You feel weak! • What are the 3 kinds of abuse ?

6. 3 Types of Abuse • Physical - ranges from slapping, pinching, pushing, and pulling hair to breaking bones, assault with a weapon, strangulation, and murder • Psychological/emotional – verbal abuse, putting someone down, isolation, control, keeping tabs on someone • Sexual – ranges from insisting on engaging in a sexual activity to coercion, sexual battery and rape

7. Power & Control in Military Relationships • Military Power and Control Wheel: http://www.ncdsv.org/images/MilitarycontrolwheelNOSHADING.pdf • Maintaining hypermasculine beliefs that women should serve and obey men at home and sexually • Acting like a commander at home: expecting others to follow orders • Threatening harm to partner, kids, pets, property • Invoking fear through one’s body or weapons • Further isolating partner who is non military/non English speaking/immigrant • Threatening to take away all benefits owed to military spouses: e.g. health care

8. Risk Factors for Veterans • TBI/mTBI • PTSD, Depression, Anxiety • Anger • “Fight or flight response” • Substance abuse • Hypermasculine culture that may degrade women • Stress of being away, and struggle with new roles • Unemployment & financial stress • Used to hierarchical environment • Lack of social support • Feel that they are not getting respect they are due • Trained to use violence: Able to intimidate & have access to weapons.

9. Tension Building Triggers Violence Honeymoon/De-escalation *also called “presents & promises” & seduction stage Power & Control& The Battering Cycle

10. Why is It Hard to Leave An Abusive Relationship? • Fear • Financial dependence • Feel children should have 2 parents • Love, Loyalty, Belief in Marriage • Religion • Lowered self worth • Denial • Self blame • Hope that partner will change • Lack resources for safety or info on rights

11. What You Can Say To a Victim To a Perpetrator You are not going crazy. I am concerned about you and your family. Let’s make a plan to keep you and your family safe. Let’s brainstorm solutions. My door is open. You need help: Next Door, SNBW, Vet Center, Counseling Services, VAHCS. • It’s not your fault. • You are reacting normally to a crazy situation. • I am concerned about your safety. • Let’s make a safety plan. • Let’s brainstorm solutions. • My door is open. • You need help: Next Door, SNBW, Vet Center, Counseling Services.