Episode 16: Customer Service

1. A Day in the Life of A White Mage Episode 16: Customer Service Your call will be answered in the order it was received

2. Stenir: I-Am-A-Wet-Monkey Johnny: I am sorry, please continue. Stenir: So, anyways, I get this letter from you and it says that I owe you $47.90. Stenir: I was wondering what exactly I am getting charged for. Johnny: Sir, in order for me to access your account, I will need to ask you for some information that will help me to ensure that you are who you say you are. Stenir: I haven’t even told you who I am yet. Johnny: Of course, Mr. Wiggins. I’ll be glad to help. Stenir: are you even listening to me? Stenir: Um… Stenir: *hmmph* Stenir: My address is 182 Market’s Way, South San d’Oria, 777666. Stenir: Excuse me, but I was explaining the problem. Johnny: Alright. Second bit of information I need from you is your username and password for the account. Johnny: I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot help you with that at the current moment. Johnny: Thank you for calling. My name is Johnny. What can I do for you today? Stenir: All I want to know is where to find this stupid bit of information. Johnny: This is PlayOnline, Inc. You’ve reached the Customer Service Department. Johnny: If you have forgotten your username and password, they can be found on the top-right corner of the bill you have questions about. Stenir: Um…my username is apparently… Stenir: Shag-A-Wet-Monkey Johnny: Okay, and your password, sir? Johnny: Can I have the last four digits of your credit card you used when setting up your account? Stenir: Yeah, I got this letter in the mail and I was wondering… Stenir: Um…where would I find that? Stenir: ARRRRGHGHGGHGHG!!!!!!! Johnny: Okay, first I need to ask you for your home address. Stenir: Any other stupid questions? Johnny: Yes, I need you to correctly give me the answer to the following question. Johnny: Do you have a hot sister? Stenir: I don’t have a sister! Johnny: Very good, sir. Let’s see what I can or cannot do. Johnny: Well, it appears that you have a $47.90 bill due with us sir. You have been playing for the past two months and have incurred this bill. Stenir: Um… Johnny: Sir, I do not like the tone of voice that you are taking with me! Stenir: ??? Johnny: Excuse me, sir, but if you insist on being such a jerk, I’m going to have to come over there and beat the living crap out of you! Stenir: And you call yourself customer service? Johnny: Very good, sir. Johnny: I’m sorry, sir? I was just discussing what I was gonna have for lunch with my supervisor. Johnny: What was that, sir? Stenir: Nevermind. Johnny: Very good, sir. Now, we require you to pay your account in full by the end of this phone call. Johnny: Otherwise we will prevent you from having any fun while playing in the grand world of Final Fantasy XI. Stenir: Um… Johnny: I need the last four digits of your credit card number to verify the card on file. Stenir: But I don’t’ have any credit cards anymore. I got rid of them about a year ago. Johnny: I’m sorry, but those are not the last four digits. Would you like to try a different card? Stenir: Are you listening to me? I don’t have a credit card. Johnny: I’m sorry, but you need to give me a credit card number regardless. Stenir: Jerk. Bring Bring ANGER LEVEL-UP: LEVEL 2 Congratulations! Stenir reached Anger Level 2! ANGER LEVEL-UP: LEVEL 3 Congratulations! Stenir reached Anger Level 3 and learned the “Customer” Job ability B**** Slap! ANGER LEVEL-UP: LEVEL 4! Congratulations! Stenir reached Anger Level 4 and learned the “Customer” Job Weaponskill “Double-Nut Punch”!

3. DOUBLE-NUT PUNCH DOUBLE-NUT PUNCH B**** SLAP B**** SLAP DOUBLE-NUT PUNCH DOUBLE-NUT PUNCH B**** SLAP B**** SLAP

4. HOSPITAL ROOM #202A IT’S A FREE HOSPITAL…. HENCE THE BADLY DRAWN BED Stenir: Now that’s Customer Satisfaction! Johnny: We aim to please…my poor body… Johnny: NURSE!

5. END?