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Tune Up Your Negotiation Skills Tactics and Strategies. Andrew L. Urich, J.D. Associate Professor Spears School of Business Oklahoma State University 405.744.8619 aurich@okstate.edu www.andrewurich.com. Making a Connection. The World’s Greatest Car Salesman.

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tune up your negotiation skills tactics and strategies

Tune Up Your Negotiation SkillsTactics and Strategies

Andrew L. Urich, J.D.

Associate Professor

Spears School of Business

Oklahoma State University




the world s greatest car salesman

Making a Connection

The World’s Greatest Car Salesman
  • We like, trust, and believe people who like us.
overcoming fear

Making a Connection

Overcoming Fear

Nikita Khrushchev

My Sales Philosophy

“When you are skinning your customers,

you should leave some skin on,

to grow again

so you can skin them again.”

showing respect building trust

Making a Connection

Showing Respect & Building Trust
  • “My child choked on a chicken bone”
  • Can you “get off on the right foot?”
        • What telemarketers don’t want us to know
  • If they are defensive you may be offensive.
  • Winston Churchill’s thoughts on the subject
small software co vs massive industrial powerhouse inc

Making a Connection

Small Software Co. vs. Massive Industrial Powerhouse, Inc.

“This product is provided subject to an evaluation condition. In the event that the software is deemed unacceptable by the buyer for any reason, at the sole discretion of the buyer, the buyer shall incur no obligation to make the final payment as described in the above payment schedule.”

concept summary

Making a Connection

Concept Summary:
  • ABC….Always Be Charming.
  • Show respect and build trust.
  • “They” are not trying to skin you.
  • The relationship is the most important thing.
what we need to know

Program Introduction & Goals

What We Need To Know

1. What is the essence of negotiation? (Not what everyone seems to think)

2. Which negotiation variable has the highest correlation with “winning” negotiations?

3. How do I plan for a negotiation?

4. How do I know when to be satisfied with my negotiation outcome?

5. How do costs and values impact negotiations?

what we need to know11

Program Introduction & Goals

What We Need To Know

6. Can I better manage the concessions I make during a negotiation?

7. How can I adopt a win/win focus without becoming Pollyanna?

8. Appreciate the vital importance of “no.”

9. How does bargaining power impact negotiations?

10. How can I increase my bargaining power?

leverage through negotiation

Program Introduction & Goals

Leverage Through Negotiation

Sales 100

Status Quo

Cost of Goods 90

Profit 10

leverage through negotiation13

Program Introduction & Goals

Leverage Through Negotiation

Sales 105

Concerted Efforts on Negotiation

Cost of Goods 85

Profit 20

what does it mean to win

Program Introduction & Goals

What Does it Mean to “Win?”

The Bargaining Area









negotiation of a movie contract


Negotiation of a Movie Contract

On a scale of 1 to 10 please note your

satisfaction level when you finish

1 = dissatisfied 10 = extremely happy





extremely happy

have you ever heard anyone say this

Change Your “Mental Model” of Negotiation

Have you ever heard anyone say this?

“Negotiation is an inefficient waste of time. Can’t we quit messing around and get to the bottom line?”

  • Saturn
  • Winner’s curse
  • The box or the curtain
change your mental model

Change Your “Mental Model” of Negotiation

Change Your “Mental Model”
  • Completely new focus: It's the experience, not the terms, that will provide satisfaction to the other party.
  • Don't look at negotiation as a necessary evil.

A) It's an opportunity to discover their bottom line. B) And an opportunity to demonstrate the FAIRNESS of your position.

which provides more satisfaction

Change Your “Mental Model” of Negotiation

Which provides more satisfaction?

A) a bad deal mistakenly considered to be a good deal.

B) a good deal mistakenly considered to be a bad deal.

what matters most
What matters most?

Which of these factors are most highly correlated with successful negotiation outcomes?

  • Bargaining power
  • Aspiration level
  • Skill of the negotiator
research on aspiration level

High Aspirations

Research on Aspiration Level
  • Persons with higher aspiration levels win higher awards.
  • High aspirants beat low aspirants without regard to skill or power.
  • Skilled negotiators without power lowered their aspirations.
power of high aspirations

High Aspirations

Power of High Aspirations
  • Reciprocity and Anchoring
      • Boy Scout circus
      • Giant teddy bear
      • Barbeque restaurant
          • Analysis that does not improve decision making tends to be a waste
      • Wife’s shoes
      • Selling up harder than selling down
      • Pick your clothes dryer
  • You will not exceed your aspiration.
  • First offer makes a huge impact.
      • Who should make the first offer?
factors restraining high aspirations

High Aspirations

Factors Restraining High Aspirations
  • Fear of offending
  • Time constraints
  • Fear of failure: A culture averse to failure stifles exploration, experimentation and discovery
  • It’s more work
how do you know when to be satisfied

Analyze Your Level of Satisfaction

How Do You Know When to be Satisfied?
  • Are your criteria arbitrary?
    • Remember, you never get to see the bargaining area.
  • Our satisfaction level is based on…..
    • Our expectation
    • How we were treated during the negotiation
      • Are you impacted by how far you moved from their starting point?
      • Are you impacted by their pain?
how do you know when to be satisfied24

Analyze Your Level of Satisfaction

How Do You Know When to be Satisfied?
  • Inaccurate measurement can create a false sense of confidence.
  • Koch examples of Measures & Benchmarking
      • Energy consumption should be measured against some ideal – not a budget.
      • Southwest Airlines studied NASCAR pit crews to speed up turnarounds – not other airlines.
no talking please


…..No Talking Please!
  • $10,000 has been designated for you to share with another department head.
  • Person A writes a number on a piece of paper and passes it to Person B.
  • Person B writes “Yes” or “No” and passes it back.
concept summary26

Mental Model & Satisfaction Level

Concept Summary:
  • Raise your aspirations.
  • It’s not the terms that make them happy– it’s the negotiation experience.
  • Avoid the winner’s curse.
  • When they see the fairness they say “yes.”
  • Being satisfied is a trap
all values are subjective

Adopt a Value Focus

All Values Are Subjective
  • Values differ between all customers/clients.
      • Nothing has inherent value.
      • PEOPLE value things.
      • Value will vary from person to person.
bases of subjective value

Adopt a Value Focus

Bases of Subjective Value
  • Specific situation
  • Time
  • Uses for the product
  • Personal preference
  • Alternatives

Adopt a Value Focus

Bargaining Area Redefined by MBM®




no induces trauma

The Power of “No”

“NO” Induces Trauma
  • Develop a positive “NO.”
  • Being ready, willing, and able to say “no” gives you power.
  • Knowing when to say “no” gives you power.
      • Setting Priorities: Risk-adjusted present value of opportunities relative to resources consumed (such as scarce talent or capital)
rigorously explore all alternatives

The Power of “No”

Rigorously Explore All Alternatives
  • Harvard’s Methodology: Have you identified your BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated agreement)?
  • Have you fully explored and analyzed your BATNA?
        • Confidence soars
        • Identify alternatives so you will feel able to say “no.”
a lot of problems in the world are caused by a person who said yes when they should have said no

The Power of “No”

A lot of problems in the world are caused by a person who said “yes” when they should have said “no.”
  • Southwest Airlines: The King of “No!”
        • No food
        • No choice of planes
        • No assigned seats
        • No extra baggage
        • No first class
        • No shared reservation system
        • No expensive equipment
  • Why we need a Sales Manager
  • Failure to say “no” leads to disaster
purchasing manager s favorite trick

The Power of “No”

Purchasing Manager’s Favorite Trick
  • How to say “no” when “they” tell you your competitor will say “yes.”

● “They” are testing you

● Your competitor is over promising

● You will lose focus

● With a good relationship, “they” will get over it

concept summary34

The Power of “No”

Concept Summary
  • “No” is the key to success.
  • Practice your “no!”
  • Slow down
        • Hmmmm….
  • Focus on the relationship not the terms.
        • Manage emotions
        • Show respect
  • Manage their response to your “no.”
        • Fear
        • Guilt
  • They are testing you.
  • Remember Southwest Airlines.
  • You don’t want to win them all.
make the pie bigger instead of arguing about how to slice it


Make the Pie BiggerInstead of Arguing About How to Slice It
  • Win/win is an attitude. (Fixed Pie Fallacy)
    • 62% buy into the fixed pie fallacy.
    • Pay close attention to their concerns.
    • Increase their “value.” Make it easier for them to buy from you.
        • Reduce their opportunity cost (because if they deal with you they aren’t dealing with someone else)
    • Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to identify new options – Stephen Covey’s “Third Alternative.”
listen first


Listen First
  • Are you projecting?--Listen for something unexpected.
  • “They” know everything you want to know.
  • Listen for opportunities to make the pie bigger?
  • Identify their problems before you sell a solution.
  • Take notes.
  • Listen twice as much as speaking.
  • Become an active listener.
concept summary37


Concept Summary:
  • Win/win is an attitude.
  • Listen!!
  • The goal is to increase the value for both sides of the transaction.
  • Cooperation is better than competition.
understanding bargaining power

Evaluating and Building Bargaining Power

Understanding Bargaining Power
  • Don’t underestimate your power.
  • Don’t dwell on your weaknesses.
  • The illusion of power
  • The power of competition
  • The power of legitimacy
the ten most important things to remember

Conclusion and Summary

The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
  • The most important thing—make a connection

It’s not about terms—they want a fair deal.

2. The other most important thing—

high aspirations.

3. Your satisfaction criteria are arbitrary?

4. You are trading values—cost is irrelevant.

5. Listen first.

the ten most important things to remember41

Conclusion and Summary

The Ten Most Important Things to Remember

6. All concessions send messages whether you’re aware of it or not.

7. You always have more power than you think

you do. 20% of the power is missing.

8. No!!!!!!

9. Who’s skinning who?

10. Look for Win/Win opportunities.

thank you
Thank You

I appreciate your time and attention.

Please keep in touch.

Andrew Urich




  • Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988.
  • Bazerman, Max H. Smart Money Decisions, Wiley & Sons, 1999
  • Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Harper Collins, 2007
  • Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980
  • Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989.
  • Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997.
  • Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981.
  • Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiator's Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993.
  • Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984.
  • Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.
  • Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992.
  • Koch, Charles G., The Science of Success, Wiley & Sons, 2007.
  • Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993.
  • Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition., Irwin, 1994.
  • Lewicki, Roy J., et. Al. Essential of Negotiation, 4th Ed. McGraw Hill, 2007
  • Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995.
  • Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993.
  • Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989.