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Writing Workshop Student Examples. Formatting Topic Sentences Titles Formality Commentary Signal Phrasing. Incorrect Format. Incorrect Format. Incorrect Format. Correct Format.
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Writing WorkshopStudent Examples Formatting Topic Sentences Titles Formality Commentary Signal Phrasing
When composing a Topic Sentence, the claim asserted should be argumentative. This means that someone should be able to disagree with you! • The topic sentence MUSTanswer the prompt. • The topic sentence must cover one topic or opinion. • The topic sentence should help organize the rest of the paragraph, granting the reader a “heads up” as to where the argument is going. Good Topic Sentences
The poem “My Papa’s Waltz” is a poem about the author and his father. What is wrong with this topic sentence? BAD Topic Sentence
“My Papa’s Waltz” was written to express good and bad memories in addition to how much he misses his father. What is wrong with this topic sentence? BAD Topic Sentence
“My Papa’s Waltz” reflects the author’s memory of his father, possibly a specific instance, or maybe a general feeling of his cumulative experiences with him. What is wrong with this Topic Sentence? BAD Topic Sentence
There are probably a couple different ways to describe the tone of “My Papa’s Waltz.” He had a certain way of narrating the poem, that you didn’t know if it was silly or violent. What is wrong with this Topic Sentence? BAD Topic Sentence
Although the tone of the poem is debatable among fans of poetry, the true tone is playful as shown through the author’s use of light-hearted diction. Why is this a good topic sentence? GOOD Topic Sentence
The tone of “My Papa’s Waltz” is positive as shown my the authors use of the words “waltzing”, “romped”, and “clinging”. Why is this a good Topic Sentence? How might we make it even stronger? GOOD Topic Sentence
The tone of “My Papa’s Waltz” is light and playful as shown by the author’s use of light, happy diction. Why is this a good topic sentence? How might we make this even better? GOOD Topic Sentence
Theodore Roethke uses negative diction in his poem “My Papa’s Waltz” to express a tone laden with violence and fear. What is good about this Topic Sentence? GOOD Topic Sentence
Your title should be interesting and creative. • It should reflect your purpose. • BAD TITLE: My Papa’s Waltz Paragraph • Good Title: A Violent, Drunken Dance Titles
Do not use the word “You”!!!!!!!! …who is “you” anyway??? • Bad example: Depending on your point of view and who you are in a person this could drastically affect your opinion on the poem. • Good Example: The reader’s point of view can have a drastic effect on his or her interpretation of the poem. Formality: “You, you, you”
Incorrect: I think the tone is fierce and scary. I feel this way because… • Incorrect: However the tone was very clear to me, and this is how I interpret it. • Correct: Just state your belief without telling your reader that it is a belief! “The tone is fierce” is much stronger (and therefore more convincing) than “I think the tone is fierce.” ALL responses to literature are, in one way or another, an opinion…so you don’t need to point it out. Formality: “I think, I feel, I believe.”
When writing anything academic, NEVER use contractions. • Don’t use don’t: instead use Do not • Don’t use can’t: instead use Cannot • Don’t use would’ve: instead use would have • Etc. • Etc. • Etc. Formality: Contractions- gag!
Your Paragraph should have been organized like this: • Topic Sentence • Concrete Detail (Quote) • Commentary • Commentary • Concrete Detail (Quote) • Commentary • Commentary • Concrete Detail (Quote) • Commentary • Commentary • Conclusion Which means, you should have more COMMENTARY than anything else!!!!! Lots of Commentary
Your commentary should do two things: • Paraphrase the Concrete Detail (quote)… in other words, put it in your own words if necessary. • And more importantly, the commentary should explain how and why the Concrete Detail (Quote) proves the topic sentence. *commentary in a essay it will also prove the THESIS. Also: How can we move away from referring to the quote as a “quote”? The Purpose of Commentary
Roethke describes his childhood in the poem using a sad tone. When he speaks of his mother’s “Countenance” (7) he describes it as sad or frowning. His father’s hands are described as being “Battered” possibly from abuse towards others. Where is the commentary? How might we fix this? BAD Commentary
Theodore Roethke’s diction in the quote “But I hung on like death” (3) shows how deadly this waltz with his father was. His use of the word “death” shows how badly he felt about being with his dad. By using “death” instead of something else like “I hung on for as long as I could” shows how dangerous he thought his father really was. • What is good about this commentary? Good Commentary
Signal Phrases —introduce quotations • Signal phrases help readers move from your words to the words of a source without feeling a jolt. • What you must do: • provide clear signal phrases to prepare readers for a quotation Signal Phrasing
Two simple types: 1. Include the author: Roethke writes, “The hand that held my wrist/ was battered on one knuckle” (9-10). Or 2. Embed the quote: The father’s hand “was battered on one knuckle” (10). Types of Signal Phrases
Incorrect: …hard to tell what tone its in. “The Whisky on your breath could make a small boy dizzy,” so the dad is drunk. • Incorrect: Overall, I think the father is just playing with his son. “The hand that held my wrist was battered on one knuckle; and every step you missed my right ear scraped a buckle.” The father is most likely a laboror, and uses his hands a lot. What is bad about this signal phrasing? Signal Phrasing
Correct: While the father dances with the boy, the mother’s “countenance could not unfrown itself,” exhibiting the mother’s disapproval of this exchange between her husband and son. What is good about this signal phrasing? Signal Phrasing
