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Ten years ago I had one of those life-jolting discoveries that significantly changed everything. I named “shame”. This means that I became aware of the massive destructive power of shame exerted on my life. I discovered that I had been bound by shame all my life. It ruled me like an addiction… I lugged around inside of me a dead weight of not-good-enoughness. Healing The Shame That Binds You John Bradshaw
We western pastors have a blind spot. In a word, that blind spot is shame. We don’t learn about shame in seminary. We don’t find it in our theological reading. We don’t recognize it on the pages of scripture. We don’t see it in our people…
Western theology in the past 500 years has largely ignored shame. If we are going to minister grace for shame effectively, we need to reintegrate shame into our theology. Grace for Shame: The Forgotten Gospel John Forrester
Shame in Your Life Definition of shame: The inner voice that says, “You are not enough.”
Two Critical Areas Where Shame Shows Up: • 1. Spiritual Practices • Shame of not being enough for God • Christian Ministry • Shame of not being enough for others
Two Critical Areas Where Shame Shows Up: Being and Doing 1. Christian Practices Shame of not being enough for God
Two Critical Areas Where Shame Shows Up: Being and Doing • 1. Christian Practices • Shame of not being enough for God • Christian Ministry • Shame of not being enough for others
Shame people translate criticism of what they do into judgment of who they are… they take it on as their identity… The feeling of shame is about our very selves – not about some bad thing we did or said but about who we are. It tells us that we are unworthy. Lewis Smedes
A Theological Foundation for Shame Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25
Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Genesis 3:7-10
Shame is not simply an unfortunate, random, emotional event… It is both a source and result of evil’s active assault of God’s creation…
In other words, Genesis 2:25 is not just a passing description of humankind before Genesis 3. It is drawing our attention to the emotional fulcrum around which the history of sin rotates, the fundamental source, harbinger and herald of what is to come…
As such, in the biblical narrative when we experience shame, we are not simply encountering one of an array of possible emotions; rather we are engaging in evil in its most fundamental mode of operation… Shame is the emotional weapon that evil uses to corrupt our relationships with God and each other. The Soul of Shame Curt Thompson
Any human emotion can become internalized. When internalized, an emotion stops functioning as an emotion and becomes an identity… Toxic shame is no longer an emotion that signals our limits; it is a state of being, a core identity… Healing the Shame that Binds You John Bradshaw
Here Comes Pastor Jesus 1. The Incarnation 2. The Friend of Sinners 3. The Crucified One
Here Comes Pastor Jesus1. The Incarnation Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. Philippians 2:6-7
Here Comes Pastor Jesus2. Friend of Sinners Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners. Luke 7:34 “The most striking thing about the earthly ministry of Jesus is that he frequently chose to enter places of shame and associate with the shamed people.” Robin Stockitt
Here Comes Pastor Jesus 3. The Crucified One Shame was central to the crucifixion itself. Romans opted for crucifixion for its public, humiliating quality. The cross is the ultimate tale of a person being labeled as an outcast. Jesus endured actual, concrete shame. This fulfilled Isaiah’s vision of God’s servant who would bear tremendous shame.
Joining Jesus in Undoingthe Shame Game Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2
Joining Jesus in Undoingthe Shame Game First… Scorn your shame “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Track it down and name it
The point here is to emphasize that Jesus’ literal naked vulnerability is a testimony to us that he knows exactly what it is like to be us. To truly be with us Jesus – Immanuel – not only knows what it means to be vulnerable, he know how painfully, frighteningly hard it is live into it, given shame’s threat. Curt Thompson
I offered my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who pulled out my beard. I did not hide my face from mocking and spitting. Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame. Isaiah 50:6-8
Joining Jesus in Undoingthe Shame Game Second… Share your shame: The need for vulnerability / courage Since it was personal relationships that set up our toxic shame, we need personal relationships to heal our shame. John Bradshaw
Joining Jesus in Undoingthe Shame Game Third… Surrender to Love: Stand in your brokenness and let God love you
The simplest of remedies for shame is the discovery that we are, in spite of everything, accepted by the grace of someone we need to accept us… The surest cure for the feeling of being an unacceptable person is the discovery that we are accepted by the grace of the One whose acceptance of us matters most. Lewis Smedes
Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. Psalm 34:5
Grace has one loving phrase: you are accepted. Grace heals our shame by removing the one thing all our shame makes us fear most: rejection. Nothing that could make us unacceptable will keep God from accepting us. Lewis Smedes
