Meeting People & Starting Conversations A leadership training lesson from The Pennsylvania State University.

Meeting People &Starting ConversationsA leadership training lesson from The Pennsylvania State University. *This powerpoint should be used in conjunction with the Starting Conversations lesson plan found at http://leadership.cas.psu.edu/Training.html

Starting Conversations: Overview • Introduction • Lesson Objectives • Lesson Content • Reflection Questions • References

Introduction • Important skills for a leader • Meeting people • The ability to strike up conversation • The cornerstone of making connections with those inside and outside of our networks • These are skills that: • Define highly successful people • Cause other people to listen and follow your lead • (Peter Murphy, 2000)

Lesson Objectives • At the end of the lesson, you will be able to: • Describe the formula for meeting people • Develop a set of conversation starters designed to work in their particular situation

The Greatest Fear • Public speaking is number 1 fear among people • Part of the fear is speaking to strangers • This makes meeting people and striking up conversations difficult • As a leader, it is important to make strong connections with those you know as well as those you don’t

A Formula For Meeting People 1. Spot someone to talk to • Scan the room, circulating if the room is a large one • Scan from corner to corner, count to ten as you go, and really look to see the people in the room • Identify various situations seen during scans • Heated conversations (to be avoided) • Wall flowers, standing alone (approach-worthy) • Food? (a hot bed of activity) • Other situations? Are any advantageous for starting conversation?

A Formula For Meeting People 2. Make the Approach • Identify an ideal situation and approach from the front • Don’t sneak up on people or frighten them • Give a small wave if you have been introduced before • If with someone, have them break the ice by approaching people they know

A Formula For Meeting People 3. Greet People • People want to know with whom they are speaking • Introduce yourself • Shake hands • Say hello if you have only briefly met and add a secondary greeting • If you have met before, “It is good to see you again.” • If you have just met, “It is a pleasure to meet you.” • Never interrupt a conversation • Wait for a natural pause, and then extend your greetings

A Formula For Meeting People 4. The Conversation • First, be funny • Be appropriate • Share a funny story that happened to you • Tell a short joke or share a fun saying • It should fit into the context of the conversation and setting • Ask open ended questions • Questions allow people to create their own conversations • The conversation will grow as people add information about themselves and experiences

A Formula For Meeting People • Make the others involved feel comfortable • Allow people to bring their flavor to the conversation • Permit topics to come and go as people feel comfortable • Let others open topics of interest to them’ • Be aware of invading others’ personal space • Use proven conversation starters • Select ones that are appropriate for your audience • Use them to steer the conversation in a way where more are apt to participate

A Formula For Meeting People 5. The Exit • Leave by making people feel relaxed and easy going, not uptight or upset • Excuse yourself to • Attend to some business • Get something to eat • Exit when necessary or when the conversation turns in a direction that makes you feel uncomfortable

Developing Conversation Starters • These may change depending on the situation • Multiple lists may be necessary (for different audiences) • Starters with Younger Members • How long have you been in 4-H? • Tell me about the projects that you take. • Tell me about your 4-H club(s). • Tell me about your school. • What kinds of things do you enjoy when you’re not doing 4-H?

Developing Conversation Starters • Starters with Peers • Tell me about the activities you do in 4-H. • What classes do you take in school? • Tell me about your county fair/round-up/etc. • What is your county 4-H program like? • What do you plan to do when school is out?

Developing Conversation Starters • Starters with Adults • Tell me about your job. • What got you involved in the 4-H program? How long have you been involved? • What brought you to this event?

Reflection Questions • Think about meeting new people • What makes you nervous about starting conversations? • What is exciting about starting conversations? • What is the formula used to meet people? • How can you implement the formula in your particular situation? • Which steps of the formula might present the most challenge for you? • Which steps of the formula might be the easiest?

Reflection Questions • How can you develop conversation starters that are appropriate for your situation? • What might be some starters that you can use?

References • Peter Murphy. (2006). howtotalkwithconfidence.com. Received via email communication on July 13, 2006.

Meeting People & Starting Conversations A leadership training lesson from The Pennsylvania State University.