Engaging ParentsMarch 11 2014 Nicky HutchinsoN & CHRIS CALLAND Not Just Behaviour www.notjustbehaviour.co.uk
In this session we will • Consider attachment theory and the needs of troubled children • Identify the barriers to parental engagement • Look at ways to develop an effective relationship • Focus on practical problem solving strategies and ways to engage parents and children
Attachment Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another across time and space (Ainsworth, 1973; Bowlby, 1969).
Secure Attachment Insecure Attachment Avoidant Ambivalent Disorganised
For a direct comparison. Normal 2-year old. 2-year orphan.
Core Conditions • Acceptance • Genuineness • Empathy
Keys to Good Listening • Allow Pauses • Open Posture • Turn Off Your Own Words • Listen for Feelings • Use reflective Listening • Paraphrase • Open questions • Be tentative
Why use it? • Simple • Short term • Positive • They are part of the solution
Identify resources • Skills • Abilities • Qualities • Supportive relationships Internal External
Possible questions • So what did it take for you to achieve that? • How did you get through it? • How did you deal with that experience • What did you learn about yourself? • What do you think it might have taught others about you?
Preferred futures.... Focus on the future What do you want to achieve? What will that look like? What will you be doing differently? The ‘miracle’ question... Keep it real
The scaling question Focus on the positive Find a good enough number What if they go below 0?!
Review • Review positives • Give constructive feedback • Remind them of positive targets/actions agreed