Helping Students Cope with Loss, Death and Grief

1. Helping Students Cope with Loss, Death and Grief “Non-Therapeutic” Intervention for the Classroom Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

2. Helping Elementary School Students – Developmental Phases • Ages 5-9 start comprehending finality of death (e.g., plane crashes); • Death happens to others, not them or their families; • Can’t necessarily differentiate between what they see on TV and what may happen in their community. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

3. Classroom Education Process – Elementary Grades • Fact Phase • Explain, per written information from principal/designee, what has occurred (earthquake, shooting, accident, etc.) – factual, truthful information without causing fear. • Stay calm; diffuse rumors. • Reinforce safety + security. • Provide structure: maintain class schedule for consistency/normalcy; however, reduce class workload as needed; proceed at slower pace/enjoyable lessons with less homework. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

4. Classroom Education Process – Elementary Grades, Continued • Teaching Phase • Review the normal responses that people have subsequent to a traumatic event; e.g., anxiety, fear, sleep problems, bad dreams, eat too much/too little, trouble paying attention; remember that normal responses to trauma last about 2 months. Encourage • students to talk to their parents or other caring adults about their feelings, to get plenty of sleep/exercise; avoid sweets/snacking, caffeinated drinks, and TV. • students to maintain their regular friendships and that normal social activities (sports, watching a non-violent movie, having friends over) can take their minds off of the loss. • students who are worried about a friend or who are having a problem handling their feelings to talk to a school site crisis team member and/or a caring adult. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

5. Classroom Education Process – Elementary Grades, Continued • Assessment Phase • Seeing their peers’ reactions to the loss may result in fears/anxiety about their own losses or fears of loss (e.g., military families, death of family member, other loss). Be alert to such students. • Assure students that, if they want to talk with someone about what they are feeling (e.g., questions about death, grief experiences, etc.) as a result of the trauma, there are adults at the school whom they can see. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

6. Classroom Education Process – Elementary Grades, Continued • Follow-Up Phase • Meet with principal/designee and report on students’ reactions to the traumatic event and their needs. • Inform him/her regarding those specific students who need to be seen/triaged by the local school site crisis team. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

7. Helping Secondary School Students – Developmental Phases • Middle School • Have understanding of death as final event but may not grasp fully, especially when confronted by a barrage of media coverage • May experience, as a means of coping, a variety of feelings/emotions that may be expressed as acting out or self-injurious behavior. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

8. Helping Secondary School Students – Developmental Phases • High School • Most teens understand death fully (e.g., resulting from auto accident, illness, September 11 disaster). • May seek out friends/family for comfort or withdraw for comfort. • Those with history of depression, suicidal behavior and/or chemical dependency are at greater risk for prolonged/serious grief reactions and may need careful attention from home and school. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

9. Classroom Education Process – Secondary Grades • Fact Phase • Explain, per written information from principal/designee, what has occurred (earthquake, shooting, accident, etc.) – factual, truthful information without causing fear • Stay calm; diffusing rumors is one of the largest issues with which the school must deal • Reinforce safety + security • Provide structure: maintain class schedule for consistency/normalcy; however, reduce class workload as needed; slower paced/enjoyable lessons with less homework. • Permit students to ask for clarification of the information presented. Provide only the factual information that has been written and verified by the principal/designee. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

10. Classroom Education Process – Secondary Grades • Teaching Phase • Review the normal responses that people have subsequent to a traumatic event; e.g., anxiety, fear, sleep problems, bad dreams, eat too much/too little, trouble paying attention; normal responses to trauma last about 2 months. • Help students anticipate some changes in friends’ behavior; e.g. grieving friends may act differently, withdraw from friends or seem angry or very sad but that this usually does not mean a permanent change in their relationship. Encourage • students to talk to their parents or other caring adults about their feelings, to get plenty of sleep/exercise; avoid sweets/snacking, caffeinated drinks, and TV. • students to maintain their regular friendships and that normal social activities (sports, watching a non-violent movie, having friends over, taking trips to the mall) can take their minds off of the loss. Assure them that having fun while grieving a loss is healthy and normal. • students who are worried about a friend who may be at risk of destructive behavior or who, themselves, are having a problem handling their feelings to talk to a school site crisis team member and/or a caring adult. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

11. Classroom Education Process – Secondary Grades • Assessment Phase • Help students to anticipate some changes in friends’ behavior. Grieving friends may withdraw, appear angry or very depressed. • Seeing their peers’ reactions to the loss may result in fears/anxiety about their own losses or fears of loss (e.g., military families, death of family member, other loss). Be alert to such students. • Assure students that, if they want to talk with someone about what they are feeling (e.g., questions abut death, grief experiences, etc.) as a result of the trauma, there are adults whom they can see. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

12. Classroom Education Process – Secondary Grades • Provide options for support: suggest making cards or other forms of expression for those who have suffered a loss, helping others with chores (it helps us to cope when we help others). • Caution students to not “keep the secret” if a friend is very depressed and/or is talking about suicide; encourage them to seek a caring adult or member of the school’s crisis team. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05

13. Classroom Education Process – Secondary Grades • Follow-Up Phase • Students who have lost a loved or who have friends/peers who have suffered traumatic losses may experience the most dramatic feelings of fear, anxiety and loss. Carefully observe such students for signs of traumatic stress, depression, suicidal thinking. • Meet with principal/designee and report on students’ reactions to the traumatic event and their needs. • Inform him/her regarding those specific students who need to be seen/triaged by the local school site crisis team. Local District 6 School Site Crisis Team Training; 2-23-05