Moving away from guided writing

1. Moving away from guided writing Presenters: SKH St Peter’s Primary School (AM & PM ) Ms Cynthia LEE & Ms Louisa CHIANG Tel: 2546-2624 19 November 2005

2. Short-term cycles Student learning Operation in schools September Reflect Plan October Observe November Act Test Reflect Reflect Re-plan December January Observe Observe Act Act First-term examination . . . Re-plan Re-plan Collaborative lesson preparation (English) in SKH St Peter’s Primary School (AM & PM)

3. What improvement did Ealsa make in 04-05?

4. Ealsa’s 1st piece of individual written work (12 October 04) My name is Jenny. I am a cat. I am a girl. I am white. I have got big eyes. I have got a small mouth. I have got a small nose. I have got small ear. I have got a small tail. I am young. I am fat. I like to eat fish. I am happy.

5. Ealsa’s 2nd piece of individual written work (19 November 04) My name is Alan. I am a monster. I am a boy. I am old. I am forty years old. I have got small eyes, a big mouth and long ears. I am black. I am fat, short and clean. I like to eat children and hamburgers. I can eat but I can’t read and write. I am ugly.

6. Ealsa’s written work (28 November 04) I am a clown. My name is Pipi. I am beautiful, lovely and happy. My eyes are stars. They are big. My nose is a square. It is small. My mouth is a rectangle. It is big. I am colourful.

7. Ealsa’s progress Ealsa: 28 Oct 04 My Toy friend My name is Jenny. I am a cat. I am a girl. I am white. I have got big eyes. I have got a small mouth. I have got a small nose. I have got small ear. I have got a small tail. I am young. I am fat. I like to eat fish. I am happy. Ealsa: 19 Nov 04 Writing about a monster My name is Alan. I am a monster. I am a boy. I am old. I am forty years old. I have got small eyes, a big mouth and long ears. I am black. I am fat, short and clean. I like to eat children and hamburgers. I can eat but I can’t read and write. I am ugly. Ealsa: 28 Nov 04 Writing about a clown I am a clown. My name is Pipi. I am beautiful, lovely and happy. My eyes are stars. They are big. My nose is a square. It is small. My mouth is a rectangle. It is big. I am colourful. • Providing more details to enrich the contents • Use of pronouns • Some variation in sentence structures • Use of connectives

8. More written work by Ealsa ...

9. Ealsa’s written work (10 March 05) A day in the park Today is Sunday. I go to the park with my family. I can seea swing, a seesaw, trees, flowers, a slide, birds and a fountain. There are swing, seesaw and a slide in the playground. The five flowers are near the tree. The fountain is in the centre of the park. The flowers are beautiful. The grass is green. The trees are big and tall. My father is reading a book. My mother is fishing. My brother is sleeping. My sister is jumping. My grandfather is eating. My grandmother is drinking. I am running. The birds are singing. The dogs are playing. I like this park. This park is very beautiful. The park is clean. I am happy. I am very like this picnic.

10. Ealsa’s written work (23 March 05) My pet I have a pet. It is a cat. Her name is May. May is shy, soft and obedient. She is big. She is yellow. She has got a small nose. She has got a big mouth. She has got six whiskers. She has got four legs. She can run. She can jump, climb, eat, sleep and drink. She can’t swim, play, read and write. She is lovely and clean. Her friend is dogs and ribbits. She is beautiful. I am very like my cat. But father doesn’t like my cat. I have this pet. I am very happy.

11. Ealsa’s written work (30 April 05) Myself My name is Ealsa. I am a girl. I am eight years old. I am yound. I am thin. I am tall. My hair is long. It is black. My eyes are big. They are black. My ears are small. My nose are small. I am clean. I am brave. I am polite. I am obedient. I am hard working. I like books. I don’t like comics. I like to eat hamburgers. I don’t like to eat fishes. I like dolls. I don’t like robots. I like reading. I don’t like jumping. I like cats. I don’t like dogs. I live in Hong Kong. I live with my family. When I grow up, I want to be a teacher. I am a happy girl.

13. Ealsa’s written work (12 May 05) My Day I get up at six thirty in the morning. I brush my teeth at six forty-five in the morning. I have breakfast at six fifty in the morning. I go to school at seven fifteen in the morning. I have lessons at eight o’clock in the morning. I finish school at twelve forty at noon. I have lunch at one o’clock in the afternoon. I do homework at one thirty in the afternoon. I read books at four o’clock in the afternoon. I have buth at five o’clock in the evening. I have dinner at seven o’clock in the evening. I watch TV at eight o’clock at night. I bath at six o’clock in the evening. I go to bed at nine thirty at night.

14. Ealsa’s written work: 2 June 05

15. What made the magic?

16. Shared writing

17. Shared writing -> group writing -> individual writing Maximizing the input for students Modelling skills but not merely contentsor formats Connecting previous knowledge with new learning Activating previous knowledge Encouraging activeuse of vocabulary More risk-taking withthe students Modelling writing skills

18. Shared writing: Tim the crazy lion

19. 1. Developing the story map 3. Writing the ending 2. Writing the story

20. Encouraging collaboration

21. Group writing 1st draft (group work) Peer correction (group work) Expanding the sentences in the 2nd draft (individual work) Final writing product (individual work)

22. From peer correction to self-editing • Peer correction ~ students check and find out errors in groups. • Teacher copies the original writing (group work) to each student. • Each student edits the work by adding more information and ideas.

23. Individual written work The final product: Each student writes his/her own essay after peer correction and expanding his/her ideas through self editing. My name is Alan. I am a monster. I am a boy. I am old. I am forty years old. I have got small eyes, a big mouth and long ears. I am black. I am fat, short and clean. I like to eat children and hamburgers. I can eat but I can’t read and write. I am ugly.

24. Shared writing -> group writing -> individual writing (Post-exam activity) Maximizing the input for students Fancy Dress Party (Post-exam activity) 1 Modelling skills but not merely contentsor formats 2 3 More risk-taking withthe students

25. 5 Concept map 4

26. Vivian At the fancy dress party Today, we have a fancy dress party in the school hall. We are very excited. I want to be a dancer. I have got long brown and black hair. I am tall and thin. I have got a crown. My dress is pink and yellow. I can sing and dance. I like eat cakes and grapes. I like to drink pear juice and grapes juice. Lucy want to be a dancer. She has got long green hair. She is short and thin. She has got a ball. Her shirt is orange. She can jump and play the ball. She like to eat pear and biscuits. She like to drink apple juice and cake.Jane want to be a drcider (designer). She has got long orange hair. She is short and thin. She has got a picture. Her trousers are yellow. She can paint a picture and sing. She like to eat sweets, lemon and grapes. She like to drink coke, pear juice and lemon juice. We play games, eat candies and take photos. We are very happy. 6

27. Print-rich environment

28. Learning wall Referring to the learning wall during group discussion Referring to the learning wall during individual writing

30. Word bank

34. Discussion strategies

35. Discussion among students Students had discussion on the following: The story map How to describe Tim the lion The taste of a computer What the lion ate for the rest of the week The ending of the story

36. What “practical wisdom” have we gained to enhance students’ writing skills? • Freeing ourselves from language forms before freeing the students • Modelling skills but not merely contents and formats • Maximizing the input for the students when shifting the focus from language forms to expression of ideas • Promoting student learning through school-based curriculum development but “class-based” adaptation