Intentional Parent Care Gil Taylor Behavioral Health Symposium

1. Intentional Parent Care Gil Taylor Behavioral Health Symposium Dennis R. Myers, Ph.D., LCSW Kronzer Professor of Family & Aging Garland School of Social Work Baylor University Dennis_Myers@baylor.edu

2. Intentional Parent Care Caregiving is an odyssey into an emotional wilderness where roles and identities are stripped away by the demands of the strange new calling. - Beth Witrogen McLeod

3. Guiding Questions How can behavioral health of a parent caregiver be activated and sustained when: 1) a parent struggles with loss of autonomy and personhood? 2) s/he is unprepared technically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually for this strange new calling? 3) s/he struggles with competing opportunities & demands?

4. The Contours of Intentional Parent Care

5. The Parent Care Revolution • Increasing Life Expectancy • Declining Fertility • Surging Female Workforce Participation • Expanding Family Mobility • Rising Diverse, Multigenerational Family Structures

6. Parent Care Longevity Epoch • Twenty-two million Americans care for older adults • Family caregivers provide 80-90 % of long term care…worth $200 million annually • Most caregivers are 45 year old married women, most likely a daughter • One fifth of the workforce has major elder responsibilities

7. Parent Care Longevity Epoch • 4-5 Generation “Bean Pole” families • Parents & Adult Children=50-60+ years together • % (60+) with Parent Alive-1900=8%; 2000=44% • American woman will spend more years helping her aging parents (18 years average) than raising her own children (17 years average)

8. Trends in Parent Caregiving • Increased Need for Caregivers and Resources • Decreased Public Sector Support and Involvement • Greater Involvement by Congregations • Development of Monitoring and Assistive Technology • Enhanced Corporate Responsivity

9. Parent Care Opportunity/Challenge Daughter Young ADULT CHILD Son Mother/Daughter Adult Father/Son Mother PARENT Father

11. Impact on Parent CaregiverPhysical and Behavioral Wellness Decrements in immunity measures Slow wound healing Psychiatric morbidity due to increased depression Greater cardiovascular reactivity Less likely to engage in preventive health behaviors Increased mortality

12. The Conceptual Context of Intentional Parent Care

13. Parent Care as Developmental and Transformational • Developmental and Cyclic Process • Normative Phase of Life Cycle • Context for Faith Development and Practice

14. Adult Child-Parent Relationship Cyclic Perspective Parent Adult Child Faith/ Meaning Faith/ Meaning Intimacy Intimacy Identity Identity

15. Key Frameworks • Ambiguity(Boss, 2004) • Ambivalence(Birdett, Fingerman, & Zarit, 2010) • Attachment(Berry,Barrowclough,& Wearden, 2008)

16. Delivering Intentional Parent Care

17. Intentional Parent Care Dilemmas • Difficult Decisions • Filial Maturity. • Unfinished Business • What is Enough? • Self-Care

18. Intentional Parent Care Challenges • Parent care as “Private family business” • Parent care involves increasing dependency and an uncertain future • Motivation linked to parent health • Uncertain planning roadmap

19. CHILD CARE Public Anticipation Rituals Clear Role Expectations Preparation for Technical Aspects of Role Dependency Normative Legal Responsibility Prescribed Incentives Evident PARENT CARE Private Role Adoption Uncertain Role Expectations Unfamiliar with Technical Aspects Dependency Uneven and Conflicted Legal Responsibility Negotiated Perceived Negative Returns Child care vs. Parent care

20. Behavioral Health Outcomes of Intentional Parent Care Faith Grows Reunion and Reconciliation Happens Appreciation & Affirmation Abound Legacy Follows Generations Thrive Kingdom Work Progresses

21. What Do I Need to Know? *Focus on what is left-not what is lost *Activities of Daily Living-ADL [eating, bathing, dressing, ambulating, toileting] *Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADL) [shopping, cooking, laundering, medications, managing money]

22. Parent Behavioral Health Attend to Parent Well-Being Autonomy Touch Time Encouragement New Experiences Dignity

23. Parent Caregiver Behavioral Health • Random Acts of Kindness with Caregivers • Intentional Parent Care Preparedness • Our Second Family

24. Parent Care Readiness Planning ToolDr. Michael Parker, University of Alabama Tasks MEDICAL LEGAL-FINANCIAL-INSURANCE FAMILY-SOCIAL SPIRITUAL-EMOTIONAL

25. Parent Care Behavioral Health 1) Kindness 2) Care with Self 3) Celebration in Honoring 4) Faith in the midst of the process

26. Empowering Intentional Parent Care Behavioral Health • Individualized Parent Care Plan • Care Receiver Empowerment • Mentoring • Respite/Support Care • Distance Caregiving • Facilitating Caregiving and Faith Connections

27. Parent Care Behavioral Health Evidence-Informed Interventions

28. Teepa Snow

29. Parent Care Our Second Family Mission Statement: Home-centered care for experiencing the nearness of God and support of a fellowship of believers. Ministry: Care Circle Members: *Serve Together *Use our unique gifts and talents *Receive practical training *Choose how much time and for how long we can devote to this ministry *Grow in Christ as our faith is put into action

30. May God Himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole, make you holy and whole, put you together—spirit, soul, and body—and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. [I Thessalonians 5:23--The Message]

31. Parent Care Behavioral Health Decisions • Decide to Live • Ask for Help • Give Up Need to Be in Control • Learn to Set Limits • Schedule Time for Self • Care for Physical Body • Do more Laughing • Find the Support You Need ---Barbara Deane, Caring for Your Aging Parents

32. References • Bush, S. (2008) Ambushed by grace; Discovery House Publishers. • Fowler, Ruth (1998) As we grow older: How adult children and their parents can face aging with candor and grace. Judson Press • Coleman, William. (1999) . How to go home without feeling like a child: Resolving difficult relationships between adult children and their parents. Discovery House. • Garland, D. R., Myers, D. M., & Wolfer, T. A. (2009). Protestant Christian volunteers in community social service programs: What motivates, challenges, and sustains them. Administration in Social Work. 33 (1), 1-17. • Greenberg, V. E. (1994). Children of a certain age: Adults and their aging parents. New York: Lexington Books. • McKenna, David (1994) When our parents need us the most; Harold Shaw Publishers • Myers, D. R.(2009,). Parent care: Helpful responses for congregations. In C. Franklin & R. Fong, Eds. The Church Leaders Resource Book for Mental Health and Social Problems, New York: Oxford University Press. • Myers, D. R., Roff, L. L., Harris, H. W., Klemmack, D. L., & Parker, M. W. (2004). A feasibility study of a parent care planning model with two faith - based communities. Journal of Religion, Spirituality and Aging, 17(1/2), 41-57. • Myers, D. (2003). Transformational parent are: a resource guide for congregations. Family Ministry, 17 (4), 11-34. • Robertson, B.B. (2003) Changing places: A Christian’s guide to caring for aging parents; Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City. • Rienow, R. (2010) When they turn away: Drawing your adult child back to God. Kregel.

33. Dennis R. Myers Garland School of Social Work PO Box 97320 Waco, Texas 76798-7320 Phone #: 254.710.6404 Website: www.baylor.edu/Social_Work Email: Dennis_Myers@baylor.edu