YEAR 10 PARENT INFO EVENING. HOW BEST TO SUPPORT YOUR MID-STAGE ADOLESCENT. ~UNDERSTAND THEIR AGE/STAGE ~ PARENTING STYLE ~FROM NOW ON . . . . AGE-STAGE. * Generation Z (born ‘95 ) and Generation Alpha (born ‘10 ) emergent * global, visual, social and technological
HOW BEST TO SUPPORT YOUR
* Generation Z (born ‘95) and Generation Alpha (born ‘10) emergent
* global, visual, social and technological
* largest baby boom since the Boomers post war gen, but 2.6 persons/ household
* most connected, educated and sophisticated generations ever
tweens, teens, youth and young adults
* early adopters, brand influencers, social media drivers, pop- culture leaders
* generationally changed – live in an increasingly ageing population
Issues of personal & sexual identity will arise as hormones cascade relentlessly through young bodies
TASKS OF ADOLESCENCE
They said: “We’re afraid.”
“Come to the edge,” he said.
He pushed them . . .
. . . and they flew.
Degree of Demand(ingness) (control, expectations, boundaries and limit setting)
Degree of Involvement (close interest, responsive to needs, affection, active interest)
1. Authoritarian (high demand, low involvement) parenting is punitive, lacking in empathy, controlling and unreasoning, and is common but ineffective. These parents ~
*have clear rules, expectations, consequences – consistently enforced& not backed up by reasons or explanations: children must simply obey without questioning
*high expectations for children to behave in a responsible &mature manner
*expect children to be competent, to perform up to their abilities, to be contributing family members
*do not have a wide or flexible experiential or emotional range; provide no room for compromise or verbal negotiation
*do not give their children much warmth, affection, validation
*are not able to provide necessary emotional support & affection – ambiguous security for children
*produce children who are likely to hide any signs of vulnerability (from parents & sadly from themselves),may suffer anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, guilt, aggression and defiance
*produce children who are hard working, responsible & successful but whose relational patterns are often conflicted.
Disengaged (low demand, low involvement), sometimes known as Dismissive Parents are doing little for their children, whether passively unresponsive or overtly rejecting; this parent says in word and deed “Go away – just leave me alone.” These parents:
*leave children feeling abandoned, feeling that their very existence annoys or disrupts their parents
*have children who adapt by hiding, not making waves, often limiting their ability to form a personal identity
*may be caught up in alcohol or drug problems, may be too self- absorbed to deal with their children’s needs
*may be chronically depressed and unresponsive to their child who grows up feeling invisible, unnoticed, unworthy
*may have a personality disorder
*produce children who will probably be at risk for many problems: antisocial behaviour, drugs, early sexual activity, delinquency
Permissive (low control, high affection) parents do provide warmth and affection; however, they are not able to take a firm stance, consistently follow through and place appropriate controls on children’s behaviour. Permissive parents:
*are indulgent and do not consistently enforce the few rules they may set
*allow children the balance of power in the parent-child relationship
*are often loving and communicative, but their children are not expected to behave in a mature, responsible manner
*produce children who struggle with self discipline to succeed on their own, who may have adjustment problems and experience anxiety , insecurity and depression and other “internalising” symptoms.
*produce children who are dependent, demanding and “spoilt”
*have children who feel they are not safe and cannot be protected by parents who cannot say “no” to them.
*children may develop acting-out or externalizing problems: behaviour problems with school authorities (truanting), with police (reckless driving) or involvement in drugs and alcohol
*children do not learn respect for self or others
*have children who learn that they can break rules and escape the consequences of their own behaviour, that they do not have to take responsibility for their actions.
Authoritative (high demand, high involvement) produces the most well adjusted children by combining firm discipline with nurturing child care. These parents:
*are loving, consistent and willing to listen to their children
*believe in strict discipline, physical affection and spoken approval
*invite children’s participation in the process of limit setting
*consistently enforce rules which are set
*have reasons and explanations for parental rules
*have high expectations for responsible and mature behaviour
be familiar with . . .
Helicopter parents: discourage a child’s independence; too involved in every aspect of their life; hovering over them & swooping in at any sign of challenge or discomfort
NB: When parents have differing styles, that can become an issue and create a wedge between the parents and the children – communication is crucial
AND – Families are not democracies: they should be benevolent oligarchies.
It is the mix or “goodness of fit” between parent and child that matters most – the match or mismatch will influence harmony.
My contact details – 98440344 OR email@example.com
Surviving Adolescents by Michael Carr-Gregg
Saving Our Adolescents by Maggie Dent
Adolescence: a guide for parents: by Carr-Gregg & Shale
What to do when you children turn into Teenagers and You Can’t Make Meby Bennet and Rowe
Growing Great Boys by Ian Grant
He’ll Be Ok by Celia Lashlie
Queen Bees and Wannabeesby Rosalind Wiseman
Anything by Steve Biddulph, Andrew Fuller, Michael Carr-Gregg and Maggie Dent
Teenage as a Second Language by Greenberg and Powell-Lunder
Parenting WA Line - 6279 1200 (metro) or 1800 654 432 http://www.communities.wa.gov.au/childrenandfamilies/parentingwa/Pages/ParentingWALine.aspx
Reach Out: www.reachout.com.au
Youth Beyond Blue: www.ybblue.com.au
Youth Zone: www.yourzone.com.au
www.cyh.com South Australia – excellent site
KidsHelpLine: 1800 55 1800
Sane: www.sane.org 1800 18 7263
GSG Website – Counsellor Section where you’ll find this ppt