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Management Support Program presents

Management Support Program presents. Essence of Crucial Conversations Part I. For Audio Click on Telephone Icon Select Dial Out Enter your phone number System will call you. Logistics. Meeting Recorded Mute Ok Hold NOT Ok Chat - Your Name/Job Title/Office Poll. Today’s Topics.

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Management Support Program presents

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  1. Management Support Programpresents Essence of Crucial Conversations Part I • For Audio • Click on Telephone Icon • Select Dial Out • Enter your phone number • System will call you

  2. Logistics • Meeting Recorded • Mute Ok • Hold NOT Ok • Chat- Your Name/Job Title/Office • Poll

  3. Today’s Topics • What Is a Crucial Conversation. • Recognizing where you are stuck. • Start With Heart. • Learn To Look.

  4. What is Crucial Conversation? A discussion between two or more people where: • Stakes are High. • Opinions Vary. • Emotions run Strong.

  5. When It Matters the Most… • We are designed wrong. • We are under pressure. • We are stumped. • We act in self-defeating ways.

  6. Personal Crucial Conversations Which of these Personal Related conversations have you had? Document the letter(s) in Chat. • Arguing room mates. • Custody fights. • Ending a relationship. • Talking with a rebellious teen. • Asking in-laws to stop interfering. • Boundary disputes with your neighbor. • Asking a friend to repay a loan. • Money matters.

  7. Work Related Issues Supervisor/Staff Which of these Work Related conversations have you noticed? Document the letter(s) in Chat. • Providing feedback in both directions. • Case assignment issues. • Unfavorable performance review. • Critiquing a colleague’s work. • Discussing poor team performance with a colleague. • Telling a client they don’t qualify for requested resources. • Discussing case plan and family responsibilities. • Discussing filing a court petition. • Discussing inappropriate behavior during a foster care visit. • Discussing substance abuse issues. Colleagues: Staff/client:

  8. CC - Positive for Your Career • Stand up to the boss without committing career suicide. • Express controversial and risky issues and be heard. • Give and receive feedback and see positive results. • Improve personal relationships. • Improve your health.

  9. CC - Positive for Your Organization • Dealing with performance effectively. • Face-to-face conversations. • Respectful environment. • Confront an office bully. • Solving ongoing problems. • (Safety, productivity, diversity, other hot topics)

  10. Creating Dialogue From Merriam Webster di.a.log A conversation between two or more persons; also: an exchange of ideas and opinions.

  11. The Pool of Shared Meaning Fill the pool: • Share your ideas as opinions, not facts. • Invite and listen to others’ ideas. • Information is more accurate. • Information is more relevant. • We make better choices. • All are more willing to act. As the pool grows

  12. The “How” of Dialogue Start with the Heart…Your Heart • First, get “me” right, then work on “us.” • Clarify your motives for yourself. • Stick with the “right” motives. • Avoid the “fools choice.” (silence/flight or violence/fight) Have your initial motives ever changed from good to bad based on the other person’s response? Raise your hand if the answer is yes. (Put hand down after)

  13. What am I acting like I want? • To win? • To strike back? • To punish? • To keep the peace? • To Fill the pool of shared meaning?

  14. Silence Behaviors Masking • Understating • selectively sharing true intentions • Sarcasm • Sugarcoating • Steering away • Pulling out of a conversation altogether • Sit with arms folded • Leave the room Avoiding Withdrawing

  15. Violence Behaviors Controlling • Coercing others • Dominating the conversation • Cutting others off • Using your position to control • Dismissing others’ ideas with a label • Belittling • Threatening Labeling Attacking

  16. Greta’s Story Let’s Listen to Greta’s story.

  17. Greta’s Story So, Greta decides she really wants her initial motive… To have her staff begin cost cutting. • “The furniture is way less than $150,000.” • “I can’t believe you’re accusing me of squandering money.” • “I admit I have not managed this building project as tightly as I am asking you to manage your projects and that will change.” • “I will re-evaluate the costs and priorities for the building project.” • “Does anyone have an intelligent question?” • Greta should not have invited questions. How should Greta respond? Document the letter(s) in Chat.

  18. Clarify What You Want, to Yourself Greta first clarified what she really wanted, to herself: • “I want my staff to begin some cost cutting.” • “I don’t want my staff to move to silence or violence. Then, they will become disengaged and won’t work to their full potential. • “How can I best get what I want without moving to silence/flight or violence/fight?” She then clarified what she didn’t want, also to herself. She then asked herself:

  19. Learn to Look When caught up in the middle of a Crucial Conversation we often do the opposite of what is helpful. We should: • Look at content and conditions. • Look for when things become crucial. • Watch for safety problems. • Look for outbreaks of your style under stress. • http://www.vitalsmarts.com/styleunderstress/ • Are others moving to silence or violence?

  20. Summary 1 Crucial Conversations: • Stakes are high. • Opinions vary. • Emotions run strong. Create Dialogue (Pool of Shared Meaning): • Share your ideas as opinions. • Invite and listen to others’ ideas. • Information is more accurate and relevant. • We make better choices. • All are more willing to act.

  21. Summary 2 The “How” of Creating Dialogue: • First get “me” right, then work on “us.” • Clarify your motives for yourself. • Stick with the “right” motives. • Avoid the “fools choice” (silence/violence) What are you acting like you want? • To win? • To strike back? • To punish? • To keep the peace? • To fill the pool of shared meaning?

  22. Summary 3 When caught up in the middle of a Crucial Conversation: • Clarify to yourself what you really want. • Clarify to yourself what you don’t want. • Look at content and conditions. • Look for when things become crucial. • Watch for safety problems. • Look for outbreaks of your style under stress. • Look, are others moving to silence or violence?

  23. Between Now and Part 2 • Notice Crucial Conversations in your office or at home. • What words are making them crucial? • What behaviors are making them crucial? • During conversations you initiate: • Do you notice your initial motives changing? • What was your initial motive? • What did it change to? • What provoked your motive to change?

  24. This is the conclusion of: The Essence of Crucial Conversations – Part 1 (Webinar) Thank you for attending and your participation!

  25. The Essence of Crucial Conversations – Part 2 (Webinar) June 11, 2013, 10-11 am Next

  26. The Essence of Crucial Conversations – Part 3 (Webinar) July 16, 2013, 10 – 11:30 am Coming Soon

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