Overview • Recognizing Signs of Losing Control • Developing Self Control • Learning a Technique
What is Anger? • Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, rage, and/or strong emotion usually combined with an urge to harm.
Can you pick out the signs of anger? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDYyv-iLmRY&feature=related
Signs of Anger • Increased heart rate • Tension • Adrenaline pumping through your body
Why does anger make us want to dominate an opponent? • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkQ0szdOwyQ
What Angry People Want • They want what THEY want • They want help • They want choices • They want acknowledgment and attention
Losing Control • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjQzhs6mXgg
Hostility • Exhibiting hostile behavior means that you have resorted to instinct instead of intellect. • Hostility is a primitiveway of seeking to control surroundings.
Self Control • Self Control means one is controlled by exploring consequences. One controls one’s desires and impulses and develops willpower. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isfn4OxCPQs
Strategies for Self Control • Identify your triggers • Slow down your responses • Take a time out • “I’m better than that” • “I’m not getting suckered”
Strategies for Self Control • “I won’t pay the price” • Put yourself in their shoes • Observing • Preparing • Humor • Venting/not venting
Empathy Statements • Usually short and to the point • Allow the other to respond • Use the broken record technique • Don’t use the word “but” • Don’t restate the obvious • Be careful of your tone • Don’t use “I”
Limit Setting • Describe the Unacceptable Behavior • Request Behavior Change • State Consequences • Use Cooperative Language • Use Enforceable Consequences • Offer Choices
Enforce Limits • Refer to the limits stated previously • Request they go along with the consequence • Offer further help
Self Control Technique We want you to… HALT
H Hold your Tongue!
A Acknowledge the anger/problem.
L Listen Calmly
T Talk it out
Wait before you act to avoid consequences.
“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” -Gandhi