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Problem Gambling affects 8-10 Others (Lobsinger & Beckett, 1996) (Lange, 2012)

Who really pushes the Buttons? Seven Techniques for Treating Families along with Problem Gamblers Gary Lange Ph.D. MFT, NCGC, BACC 760-773-1014 GaryLangePhD.com. Problem Gambling affects 8-10 Others (Lobsinger & Beckett, 1996) (Lange, 2012). Spouse, parent, child, friend Some

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Problem Gambling affects 8-10 Others (Lobsinger & Beckett, 1996) (Lange, 2012)

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  1. Who really pushes the Buttons? Seven Techniques for Treating Families along with Problem GamblersGary Lange Ph.D. MFT, NCGC, BACC 760-773-1014 GaryLangePhD.com

  2. Problem Gambling affects 8-10 Others(Lobsinger & Beckett, 1996)(Lange, 2012) Spouse, parent, child, friend Some also gamble Passive, dependent Distant, distracted

  3. Family Case Wendy 50 Mother Realtor Codependent Physical Illnesses Miser Jose 48 Step Father Self employed Electrician P Gambler Recovering Alcoholic Shame Based Jackie 34 Single Unemployed Hypervigilant to addictions

  4. 1. Push the “Right Buttons”Lange, 2012 • Delusions • Educate about the Recovery “Process” • Remove “IP” label • “Yes we love you, No to gambling” • Read, Study, Practice • Read, Study, Practice… Read, Study, Practice….Read, Study, Practice

  5. 2. Stop the Bleeding Lange, 2012 • Assess for Safety • EXPECT Co-occurring Disorders • Stop the “financial bleeding”; harm reduction • Who are your clients? • Monitor severity of $$$ and legal problems

  6. 3. Recognize Family GuiltLange, 2012 • If only… • All have guilt and shame • Learn about Brain Impairment • Family Patterns • Enabling/Codependency

  7. 4. Reframe Stress Lange, 2012 • Stress is an Opportunity, a given • Decrease stress  Decrease Craving/Reacting • Create structure/routines • Prioritize • Breathe • e.g.“When you gamble/react______, I feel…”

  8. 4. Reframe Stress (cont.) Lange, 2012 • Recognize and deal with feelings • Assertiveness • Tender (Passive) Tough (Bulldozer) • Say “Yes” and mean it • Say “No” and set limits • Say “No” to demands, violations

  9. 4. Reframe Stress (cont.) Lange, 2012 • Small contracts; recognize things in common • Face problems and changes • The other Vitamin C: “Connection”: GA, GamAnon, friends, family • Set health boundaries

  10. 5. Utilize Smart TechnologiesLange, 2012 • Record a Message • Set the timer • Write and save a Plan • Google; on-line sources • Make an App

  11. 5. Utilize Smart Technologies (cont.)Lange, 2012 • iPromises • DailyRecovery • iMoodJournal

  12. 6. Forgive and TrustLange, 2012 • Write a forgiveness list • Apologize • Grieve the losses • Ruth___ demands “the truth” • Forgiveness doesn’t mean its OK… • Forgetting is a spiritual release

  13. 7. AcceptLange, 2012 • Utilize your support system • Acceptance • Spiritual release • Change Today

  14. We help carry the Olympic Torch of HOPE

  15. Resources Berman, Linda and Siegel, Mary-Ellen, 2008, Behind the Eight-Ball, "A Guide for Families of Gamblers", University. Lange, Gary, 2010, You Bet Your Life: Pathological Gambling, DVD, GaryLangePhD.com Petry, Nancy, 2005, Pathological Gambling: Etiology, Comorbidity, and Treatment, Wash, DC., www.apa.org Sugg, Judith and Siegel, Renee 2009, Families Recovering Against All Odds: “Helping Family Members of Problem Gamblers Rebuild”, ABC Wellness Centre, Scottsdale, AZ

  16. www.GaryLangePhD.com PUBLICATIONS: “A Gambling Affair”, Nat Council Problem Gambling Sp 2012, 15:1 “How Addictions Light Up Our Brains” Phactum Jan/Feb 2011; “My Car Drives Itself to the Casino” Phactum, Dec. 2007, p. 10; “Liar, Liar, Money’s on Fire” The Therapist Magazine, Mar/Apr 2007, p. 54-56; “Pathological Gambling” DVD $19.95

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