St. Joseph High School

1. St. Joseph High School Feelings & Coping Strategies Anger Management Presented by: pamela Sepulveda, MSW PPSC Outreach Director Casa Youth Shelter

2. Goals of this class • Understand link between feelings and behavior • What is “behind” negative feelings • How to express feelings in healthy ways • Coping strategies (healthy and unhealthy) Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

3. Do you know?... • What is a Feeling vs. • a Behavior? Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

4. All behavior is communication…IT IS TELLING US SOMETHING ABOUT OUR FEELINGS! • Adolescence/Teen Years = New Feelings • Don’t understand all of them • Limited vocabulary to express • Pros and cons to every feeling – even negative ones! exhaustedconfused ecstatic guilty angry suspicious hysterical frustrated confident disgusted sad embarrassed Enraged cautious love struck jealous anxious shocked Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

5. Connections • Emotions create self awareness by informing us of our needs • Connect us to what is happening • Can lead to learning & growth • Example: I feel loved when I’m with my family. I need/like to feel loved. • I will spend more time with my family. Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

6. Unfelt feelings • Unfelt feelings make us do and say the wrong things, • or do nothing at all! • When we don’t address our feelings: Fight Flight Freeze Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

7. We have a choice of “hiding” from upsetting experiences or using coping skills to deal with them. • Failure to learn or use healthy coping skills can result in self-punishing habits that keep us running from rejection. Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

8. What are Coping skills? Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

9. HOW to breathe… You think you know…but you don’t Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

10. Basically there are 3 rules to behavior and coping skills… • 1. Don’t hurt yourself (body or feelings) 2. Don’t hurt other’s (body or feelings) 3. Don’t destroy other people’s property Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

11. The brain is like a muscle The more we “work out” our brain’s coping skills, the easier it is so call on them when we need them! Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

12. “I don’t care” • Never learn the thinking skills to express how we feel. • A sign we feel wounded and do not want to look vulnerable. Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

13. In many cases, depression actually is the result (rather than the cause) of habitual negative thoughts. When bad things happen, thoughts such as: “I'm no good, I'm a total failure, or nothing ever goes my way” can spiral into depression. Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

14. Steps to feeling feelings • Identify physical signs • Recognize the emotion attached • Learn healthy coping skills • Become comfortable with feelings Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

15. Results of letting yourself feel • Self-awareness • Able to get your needs met • Good boundaries, better decision making • Self-esteem • Better relationships • “Bottled up” feelings don’t leak out in other ways Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

16. What if my feelings get out of control? Automatic Positive Negative Action Thoughts Thoughts PAT the ANTS out of your head! Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

17. You can handle it! • Fear, worry, anxiety often comes from thoughts like: • “I won’t be able to handle this.” • “I don’t know what I’ll do if…” • “If I made the wrong choice, I’ll never recover…” • Telling yourself, “I can handle this, whatever happens!” helps • Living in fear of “what ifs” is greater than the fear of taking action • 90% of what ifs never happen Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures

18. Casa Youth ShelterWho We Are and What We Do 24-hour Crisis Hotline Court-approved “TOPS” Parenting classes (English and Spanish) with a FREE Teen Drop-In Group Youth Leadership Program Community Outreach “intervention, prevention, and collaboration” • Home-like environment for boys and girls ages 12-17 • Voluntary residential program • Short-term, crisis counseling for youth and their families • Individual and group counseling offered to the teen and family counseling for the family • Referrals and contact with existing treatment team or school • Aftercare counseling offered upon exit. Our mission is to provide temporary shelter for runaways and youth in crisis, enabling them to come through the crisis with increased personal strength and a sense of renewal while in a supportive environment with family reunification as a primary goal.

19. Shelter Care • Up to two weeks • Sliding fee scale • Voluntary program • Client-centered • Structured, supportive environment • Residents allowed family visitsand passes • Goal: crisis stabilized, safe to return home • For more information call: (800) 914-CASA • www.casayouthselter.org

20. Questions? Helping Kids and their Families Build Better Futures