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1. Understanding the Dynamics of Shame 2. Shame is an intensely painful feeling of unworthiness and flaw, often unrecogn

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1. Understanding the Dynamics of Shame 2. Shame is an intensely painful feeling of unworthiness and flaw, often unrecogn

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  1. The Dynamics of Shame

  2. A definition • Shame is an intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance or belonging. • Shame is about the self while guilt is about a thing done or undone. • Often because of the pain they feel people do not consciously recognise that they are feeling shame. • Expressing shame is the start to it being diminished.

  3. • Shame can be experienced by * the person causing the harm * the person harmed * the support people * the faciltators

  4. • Shame is frequently overlooked because it has many hiding places. • Many of the symptoms of shame can can be indicative of other dynamics. • Shame often develops early in a persons life and they are unaware of its effects on their behaviour.

  5. • Ongoing blaming and shaming creates toxic shame. This can become a prison. It cuts people off from their feelings and restricts their ability to change. • This is in contrast to healthy shame which gives us permission to be human and make mistakes. • It is important not to challenge peoples awareness to directly if they are locked in toxic shame.

  6. Common responses to toxic Change

  7. Other Responses to shame • Move towards self • Move towards others

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