Development of the Men’s Advice Line & Working With Men Experiencing Domestic Violence

1. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Development of the Men’s Advice Line & Working With Men Experiencing Domestic Violence Mark Coulter

2. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Background • From small-scale project to national helpline • Victimisation NOT the issue • Relationships ARE the issue • Gender role socialisation key to appropriate services • Men are ‘problem-solvers’

3. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Er Hello!!!! • Remove gender & increase risk • Not all violence the same • Exclusive not inclusive • Add-ons but dominant culture remains • Us and Them • Lack of engagement • No single profile of perpetrator or victim

4. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Men & Health • Lack of awareness of their health needs • Inability to express their emotions • Lack of social networks • Life or Death

5. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology What men fear • Powerlessness • Not being valued • Abandonment • Self • Being ‘other’

6. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology

7. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology What we do • Give men a chance to talk about their experiences • Challenge Denial • Provide emotional & practical support • Focus on needs of individual caller • Non-judgmental & non-collusive • Encourage help-seeking • Support & enhance crisis management skills

8. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology What is different in our approach? • Male positive approach • Use plain language-not language of therapy • Non-collusive • Support men making positive choices in tough times • Explore solutions not emotions • WE DON’T BLAME WOMEN

9. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Challenges Providing services for men requires • Centrality of understanding of gender • Power & Control • Primary focus on safety • Investment • Training • New Ways of Working and Thinking

10. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Challenges for victim focussed agencies • Victim or Perpetrator • Bi-directional violence and abuse • Mutual allegations • Working with single incident & pattern of abuse • Limits to confidentiality

11. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Significant Benefits • Inclusive service • Makes men visible • Assists risk management • Enhances women’s safety • Assists child protection • We are in this together

12. Stopping Domestic Violence: What Works? 28th to 30th May 2008, Waterford Institute of Technology Father Kills Children in Blaze June 2007