Bullying Behaviour

1. Bullying Behaviour It is important that you recognize bullying behaviour and hostile environments at school, at work, and in your relationships, so that you can confront these situations effectively. Knowledge is power!......Personal power to take control of your own life…… The Respect. Campaign is your ally if you are harassed in any way both on and off the campus. Respect follows you as a Confederation College student.

2. BULLYING ‘IN-SIGHT’ School, Work and Relationships

3. Canadian Law • Quebec and Saskatchewan are the only provinces that have passed specific laws to protect against bullying and hostile work environments • Quebec – 81.14 of the Provincial Labour Standards Act • Saskatchewan – amendment to their Health and Safety Act • Manitoba Bill 210 (in process) to amend the Workplace Safety and Health Act • Harassment and workplace-related harassment

4. Harassment Harassment – Personal • More subtle forms of harassment cause grief and emotional damage. These include remarks, jokes or actions that demean or humiliate another person and deny individuals dignity and respect. • Although these may not be illegal according to the criminal code, many workplaces and educational institutions are developing internal policies to protect individuals

5. The Statistics • The Canada Safety Council states: • Over 80% of bullies are bosses; some are co-workers; a minority are higher-ups • A bully is equally likely to be a man, or a woman • Targeted employees waste between 10% and 52% of their time at work through defending themselves, networking for support, thinking about the situation, being demotivated and stressed, not to mention taking sick leave due to stress-related illnesses.

6. Bullying– What is it? • Repeated, unprovoked, harmful actions by one or more people against another. • Harassment and bullying are power plays. • Both human rights and role rights are violated • Discriminatory and sometimes illegal

7. Bullying – BEHAVIOUR PASSIVE BULLYING: • Passive bullying includes exclusion, ignoring, snubbing, choosing someone last all the time, disconfirming (as if the person was invisible), gossiping Friends Bullying in the Workplace “Have you Forgotten what it was like in School?” :44 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ReJ1MYB8Yg

8. Bullying – BEHAVIOUR “CRAZYMAKING, CHAMELEON-LIKE BULLYING”: • deliberately withholding information and resources • placing unrealistic work demands on the target • public humiliation • alienation and exclusion from the work team • slow and unwarranted removal of work responsibilities • constant criticism with proof of achievements at work trivialized, dismissed, ridiculed or ignored • silent treatment • isolation of physical work location • excessively monitoring of target • Dr. Gary Namie – KVOS interview 5:59 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfv3PB202H0

9. Bullying – BEHAVIOUR CYBER BULLYING: • Targeting another person and insulting, threatening and generally demeaning him or her • Done by email, instant messaging, bulletin boards, and websites devoted to bullying a particular person • 14% of survey respondents had been threatened and 16% had hateful comments posted. • Allows the bully to remain anonymous. • Bullycide (Talent Show Video) • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seOQyMvG99w

10. Cyber-bullying links cont.. • ABC News: Bullying Story – Diane Sawyer 9:00 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Wcx2qM5C4g&feature=related

11. Bullying – What it does A BULLY: • Destroys the Target’s confidence • Betrays the Target’s trust/confidentiality • Imposes their will on the target

12. Bullying – What it does cont… A BULLY: • Breaches the Target’s loyalty • Defames the Target’s character • Denies the Target the right to earn a living • Obstructs the Target’s work opportunity • Anti-Bullying PSA –”Think it’s still funny?” powerful – 3:00 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlSwfcxoNl0

13. Bully Characteristics • Bullies lack appropriate interpersonal skills • Bullies possess immature behavioural skills (unwilling to accept responsibility) • Bullies are insecure and lack self-confidence • Bullies project security and confidence • Bullies project their real feelings on others

14. Bullying– What is it ‘not’? Bullying and harassment does not include the following: • Reasonable action taken in a reasonable manner by an employer or supervisor to assess, evaluate, transfer, demote, discipline or dismiss a worker • A decision by an employer or supervisor, based on reasonable grounds, not to award or provide a promotion, transfer, or benefit to a worker. • Reasonable action taken in a reasonable manner under an act or regulation affecting a worker.

15. Who is involved? THE BULLY • Charming • Insecure/false sense of security • Feels inadequate • Powerless/pseudo-power • Perceives themselves as superior • Must beat down others to maintain perceived sense of control • No empathy for Target • ALWAYS ‘right’/changes the rules to make you ‘wrong’

16. CONSEQUENCES - Emotional Signs of Victimization • Irritability • Anger • Restless • Resentful • Feelings of guilt • Shame • Anxiety • Fear • Depression • Low self-esteem • Shattered spirit

17. CONSEQUENCES - Cognitive Signs of Victimization • Crying depression • Trouble concentrating • Rumination/obsessing • Self blame • Panic attacks • Change in self-perception • Second-guessing • Approval-seeking

18. CONSEQUENCES - Physical Signs of Victimization • Headaches, fatigue • Physical complaints with no apparent cause • Irritable bowel syndrome • Skin problems • Sleeplessness • Change in appetite • Restlessness • Medication use

19. CONSEQUENCES - Social Signs of Victimization • Change in relationships within family, between friends, and with co-workers • Isolation • Withdrawal from social situations • Decrease in productivity • Extreme responses – assault, shooting, killing

20. CONSEQUENCES - Environmental • Place where harassment/bullying occurs becomes toxic, hostile or offensive • Patterns of relationships change • Higher rate of absenteeism, illness, transfers, resignations, stress leave, use of employee assistance programs

21. GROUPS AT RISK • Health Care Employees • Social Service Employees • Correctional Officers • Teachers/Professors • Municipal Housing Inspectors • Public Works Employees • Retail Employees • Manufacturing Plant Employees Workers Montage – Lawyer/Kinkos/Admin Assistant. 4:17 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HopJam6k1mo

22. CONSEQUENCES - Environmental • Place where harassment/bullying occurs becomes toxic, hostile or offensive • Patterns of relationships change • Higher rate of absenteeism, illness, transfers, resignations, stress leave, use of employee assistance programs

23. Self esteem issues Learned behaviour Personal experience Emotional issues Anger, depression, fear, jealousy etc. False sense of power and control Expectations Power struggle Threat, insecurity, inadequacy Reward Retaliation Unfamiliarity with alternatives Lack of trust Why does it happen?

24. Bullying – Low Profile – Why? • Embarrassment by the Target • Society believes that ‘weak’ people are bullied • Fear– bullies maintain their dominance through fear • Fear of losing your job • Fear of being humiliated and shouted at in front of others • Fear of being physically attacked. • Secrecy (bullying usually appears in private) • No records (it’s ‘your word’ against ‘theirs’) • Bullies are usually ‘nice’ in front of witnesses

25. Bullying – Low Profile – Why? Continued… • Fear of Taking Action • Colleagues are afraid to act, fear of retribution (secondary bullying) • Lack of Recognition– symptoms are misdiagnosed or misattributed • eg: ‘He’s having a tough time at work/home’ • ‘Personality clash’ • ‘Not cut out for this kind of work’ • ‘Can’t take a joke; being too sensitive’

26. Bullying – Low Profile – Why? Continued… • Disloyalty • Not socially acceptable to ‘blow the whistle’ • Ignorance • Not knowing ‘what to do’ • Most organizations do not have clear policies identifying and addressing bullying behaviour • Depression • Causes lack of motivation • People ‘keep quiet’ hoping it ‘will go away’

27. Bullying – Low Profile – Why? Continued… • Acculturation - The greatest danger! • Bullying is seen as ‘NORMAL’ • Requires a significant event, eg. legal action, violence, suicide to ‘shake’ the workforce out of complacency and denial

28. Bystander Responsibilities Bystander Excuses (Coloroso 2002): • The Bully is my friend. • It’s not my problem! It’s not my fight! • He/She is not my friend. • He/She is a loser. • He/She deserved to be bullied, asked for it, had it coming, so why stop it? • He/She didn’t even stand up for themselves, so why should anyone else stand up for them?

29. What can I do about it? • Talk to the harasser • Ask the harasser to stop both verbally and in writing • Collect evidence • Use appropriate channels within organization • File a complaint – workplace, legal, or justice systems • Don’t blame yourself

30. What can I do about it? Responding to: Harassment/bullying/discrimination in general Use assertive skills: • Tell someone you trust • Call a crisis line or a help line • Talk to your minister, doctor, teacher • Report it to an authority figure • Seek counseling • Use stress management techniques

31. Assertive skills – what are they? The ability to: • Stand up for your human/role rights without violating the rights of others • Maintain a balance in personal power • Recognize passive, aggressive, indirect aggression (games), and assertive behaviour in yourself and others • Ask for what you want • Initiate and participate in interactions • Use verbal and non-verbal behaviour effectively • Be authentic and congruent

32. Sample List of Human Rights That Are Often Violated The right to: Have and express your own feelings and opinions. • Refuse requests without having to feel guilty or selfish. • Consider your own needs. • Set your own priorities and make your own decisions. • Change • Decide what to do with your own property, body, and time. • Make mistakes-and be responsible for them.

33. Sample List of Human Rights That Are Often Violated cont’d • Ask for what you want ( realizing that the other person has the right to say no.) • Choose not to assert yourself. • Do anything as long as it does not violate the rights of someone else. • Maintain your dignity by being properly assertive-even if the other person feels hurt-as long as you do not violate the other person’s rights. • Be independent. • Be successful. • Be left alone. • Be treated with respect and dignity. • Be listened to and taken seriously. • Get what you pay for. • Initiate a discussion of the problem with the person involved to clarity it.

34. Bystander Responsibilities (cont…) “Cowardice asks the question: is it safe? Expediency asks the question: is it politic? Vanity asks the question: is it popular? But conscience asks the question: is it right? And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular – but one must take it because it’s right.” - Martin Luther King Jr.

35. Now you know what Bullying looks like and feels like……..You know what you have to do……. • If you require assertive skills……take a course in assertiveness training or interpersonal communication skills and learn how to stand up for yourself in uncomfortable situations……..