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Writing is a form of communication. It’s not just about what you say, it’s how you say it. You are communicating more than your topic/thesis. How you communicate your message says a lot about you as a writer, thinker, and student.
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Writing is a form of communication.It’s not just about what you say, it’s how you say it You are communicating more than your topic/thesis. How you communicate your message says a lot about you as a writer, thinker, and student. Don’t communicate that you don’t really care about your topic through lack of proofreading! Don’t communicate that you are a sloppy writer! Don’t let your reader become distracted from your message due to careless errors.
Proofread with an open mind. • Be willing to make changes. • Be willing to put in the time and effort. • Leave yourself plenty of time to examine your writing. • Keep your reader in mind at all times.
Use an Essay Evaluation Checklist Introduction + Thesis Body Paragraphs + Research/Support Conclusion Mechanics
General Strategies • Take a break! Allow yourself some time between writing and proofing. Even a five-minute break is productive because it will help you get some distance from what you have written. The goal is to return with a fresh eye and mind. • Leave yourself enough time to proofread thoroughly. • Since many errors are made by speeding through writing and proofreading, you should take your time to look over your writing carefully. This will help you to catch errors you might otherwise miss. • Always read through your writing slowly. If you read at a normal speed, you won't give your eyes sufficient time to spot errors.
Slowly read your essay aloud. • Hearing your written words may help you “hear” errors. • Prepare to read your writing several times and at different times. • To make yourself attentive to your written work, involve all senses of touch, sound, and sight. • Run your finger along the text as you read it. • Listen to someone else read your paper. • PAINFUL! But effective! • Read slowly and read only the words on the page, especially when your brain may “add” words that you meant but that may not actually be on the page.
Use computer spell check and grammar check—but with caution! • Don’t rely on spell check and grammar check to catch all your mistakes, or even to be 100% correct about the mistake it does catch! • Use your own knowledge and logic. If it doesn’t seem right to you, don’t change something just because grammar check says to change it! • Also, there are quite a few common proofreading errors that spell check won’t catch because they are actually words: • won’t vs wont • Can’t vs cant • Incorrectly divided words: typecast/type cast, with out/without • Wrong words: marital vs martial, impotence vs importance • Incorrect verb tense: spellcheck only checks WORDS, it doesn’t know your intent or meaning.
Introductory Paragraph • Is there a interesting opening to grab the reader’s attention? • Does this opening fit the thesis and the mood of the rest of the essay? • Have you made a smooth transition between the first line(s) and the thesis statement? • Are there any sentences that would be better moved to a body paragraph? • To put it another way, do I have too much detail in my intro?
Thesis Statement • Is there a thesis statement at the end of the introductory paragraph? • Does the thesis address the assignment? • Is the thesis a statement of claim? • Does the thesis reflect the content of the body paragraphs?
The Body Paragraphs • Does each body paragraph contain a leading topic sentence? • Do the sentences in the body develop the opening sentence? • Does each paragraph cover one main point (focusing idea)? • Are they in logical order? • Does each paragraph have a smooth ending, transitioning into the next paragraph?? • Label your body paragraphs as a test to make sure they each have ONE topic.
Concluding Paragraph • Have you reworded the thesis statement? • Have you made an overall statement concerning the points that you discussed separately in the body paragraphs? • Have you brought up a completely new point? • If so, delete it. Do not bring up new information in the conclusion • Do you leave your reader with something to consider or a call to some kind of action? • Is there a feeling of closure in the last line?
Check your sentence structure. Look for: • Fragments—incomplete thoughts. • Comma splices—two sentences separated by only a comma. • Run-ons—two sentences running into each other with no separation.
Look for Fragments. • Remember, fragments are incomplete thoughts that should not be used in academic writing. • Examples: • It is believed that Marie Antoinette spent huge amounts of money on herself and her favorites. Helped bring on the French Revolution. • It is believed that Marie Antoinette spent huge amounts of money on herself and her favorites, and her wasteful extravagance helped bring on the French Revolution. • It is believed that Marie Antoinette spent huge amounts of money on herself and her favorites. This perception of wasteful extravagance helped bring on the French Revolution.
To repair a fragment, • Combine two related ideas. • There are all kinds of prejudice. And discrimination. • There are all kinds of prejudice and discrimination. • The history of this issue is complex. Even though it is not often acknowledged as such. • The history of this issue is complex, even though it is not often acknowledged as such.
Look for comma splices. • Look for comma splices—two sentences separated by only a comma. • He was late, he had to wait for the next bus. • He was late. He had to wait for the next bus. • He was late, and he had to wait for the next bus. • Westward migration had passed over Wyoming, even the discovery of gold in nearby Montana failed to attract settlers. • Westward migration had passed over Wyoming; even the discovery of gold in nearby Montana failed to attract settlers.
To repair a comma splice or run-on, try one of the following: • Use a semi-colon between the two thoughts. • Use a period and a capital letter for the first word of the second sentence. • Insert a coordinating conjunction along with a comma. • Insert a subordinating conjunction to connect the two ideas.
Misplaced or Dangling Modifier Check every modifier (whether a word, phrase, or clause) to make sure that it is as close as possible to the word it describes or relates to. Be on the lookout for misplaced modifiers that may confuse your readers by seeming to modify some other word, phrase, or clause.
Misplaced or Dangling Modifier Take a look at this sentence: "He became the first foreigner to run for public office in 1921." This sentence means that the subject was the first foreigner among others to register for candidacy in the year 1921. However, what the writer intends to say is that the subject was the first foreigner to run for public office in the whole history of the country, and that this happened in 1921. To correct this sentence, you can write, "In 1921, he became the first foreigner to run for public office."
Misplaced or Dangling Modifier In the sentence "He submitted his paper to a conference titled 'Effects of Alcohol Drinking,'" what does the title refer to, the paper or the conference? Based on the title, it SHOULD refer the title of a paper and not a conference. But the way that the sentence was constructed makes it appear as if the title applies to the conference. You can change this into "He submitted his paper titled 'Effects of Alcohol Drinking' to a conference."
Funny Misplaced Modifiers from Real Publications • "Plastic bags are a favorite of grocers because of their price, about 2 cents per bag compared to 5 cents for paper. Used widely since the 1970s, environmentalists now estimate between 500 billion to a trillion bags are produced annually worldwide.“ • Savannah Morning News, January 30, 2008 • “An hour later a chubby man in a wrinkled suit with pasty skin walked in.” • David Baldacci, The Innocent. Grand Central Publishing, 2012 • "They just said it's going to rain on the radio.“ • "Tiger" comic strip • "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are buried daily, except on Thursdays.“ • in a guide to a Russian Orthodox monastery • "After being busted on drug charges in Los Angeles last month, a federal judge will decide on Friday whether to rescind his probation and send the rapper back to prison.” • "Rapper T.I. Talks Man off Ledge." Slate, October 14, 2010
Wrong or missing proposition Check your draft by circling all the prepositions and making certain they are the ones you meant to use, because specific prepositions express specific relationships. Many words in English are regularly used with a particular preposition to express a particular meaning. Because many prepositions are short and are not stressed or pronounced clearly in speech, they are often left out accidentally in writing. Proofread carefully, and check a dictionary when you're not sure about the preposition to use.
Wrong or missing proposition • Incorrect: • We met in Union Street at San Francisco. • Correct: • We met on Union Street in San Francisco. • The English language is full of confusing pronouns. The best way to get used to them is through exposure. Read a lot!
Word Choice • Use Appropriate Words: • Formal vs. Informal (ex: LSH p.289) • Direct vs. Pretentions (ex: LSH p.290) • Use Precise Words: • Limit use of “to be” and “to do” verbs • Don’t Confuse Words • List of commonly confused words on page 299
Word Choice • Eliminate Unnecessary Words • Really, Very, and Other Empty Words • Eliminate “seems to be” or “apparently” – unless you are about to say it’s actually not • Excess use of “there is” and “it is” • Examples page 306
Eliminating Unnecessary Words • Accepted by five different colleges, Tasha seems to be facing an apparently very difficult decision. • Accepted by five colleges, Tasha is facing a difficult decision. • It is necessary for Americans today to learn to speak more than one language. • Americans must learn to speak more than one language. • There are four large moons and more than thirty small ones that orbit the planet Jupiter. • Four large moons and more than thirty small ones orbit the planet Jupiter.
Example – if • “Ifyou take a sentence as being made upof a series of parts and you were to analyse the complicating effect of those parts separately, then you wouldseethatthe more parts you have, and the more complicated those parts are, the more complex is the sentence and the more potentially difficult itis to understand that sentence, although itisnot just about the length, itis also often about the kinds of structures that you are using.” • All sentences are made up of a series of parts. Longer sentences are potentially more complicated and difficult to understand. Some words naturally add to the complexity of the sentence, and therefore we should try to say exactly what we mean in as few words possible.
Example – no/not/un- • “In spite of the fact that there were unconvincing reasons for less attention being paid to the lack of funding for the new development plans, the implementation of the plans was not anyhow unsuccessful.” Suggestions: remove unnecessary parts, replace weak ‘to be’ verbs (there is/are/were etc.), turn negatives into positives where possible (from 5 to 1), avoid unnecessary nominalisations. • “Although funding for the new development plans was not given adequate attention, they were still implemented successfully.”
Example – on/in/with • “While age progresses in a fixed way for all people, diet can vary from one person to another, although both factors can have an impact on the level of healthof individuals, with the impact being positive in combination with exercise andgood genes, butnot so positive if combined with, e.g., a stressed work life.) • Suggestions: Split the sentence; reorganise the content, make it shorter (some 40%), reduce prepositions (from 10 to 3); bring keywords nearer the front (i.e. health): • “Although health naturally deteriorates with advancing age, the choice of a healthy diet and regular exercise can improve health prospects. Potential negative risksto health include inherited factors and life stressors, such as work-related stress.”
Example – and • “Other support structures were shared posts between hospitals, health centres, universities and polytechnics, regional workgroups and persons in charge in organisations, educations and collaboration practices. In the regions, strategic plans and leadership, evidence-based practice, know-how of personnel and regional collaboration were developed.” Suggestions: reduce conjunctions (from 6 to 3); move keywords closer to front; reduce length (managers); turn passive into active; avoid preposition phrases (use inanimate agent); sequence the lists from simplest to most complex. • “Support took the form of training, collaboration practices, and regional workgroups for managers. Posts were also shared between hospitals, health centres, universities and polytechnics. Development at the regional level focused on strategic plans, leadership, evidence-based practice, knowledge enhancement, andregional collaboration.”
Example – Passive/Active and Repetition • “As a result of the increasing pressure of an ageing population in Finland, new models for the integration of home care and home nursing services, discharge practices from hospital to home and use of confidential electronic patient information records to share information between agencies have had to be developed by policy makers in Finland. This has brought about many changes in the work practices for home care and home nursing staff.” Suggestions: Turn passive into active; remove repetition (in Finland); remove some information (don’t cram); clarify the pronoun ‘this’; simplify the list elements and noun clusters; remove prepositions. • “With the increasing pressure of an ageing population in Finland, policy makers have developed new models for integrated home care services, hospital discharge practices, and electronic patient records. These new models have led to changes in the work practices of home care and home nursing staff.”
Revise Wordy Phrases Checklist WORDY CONCISE Concerning When Now Although If Because or since • As far as ____ is concerned • At the time that • At this point in time • In spite of the fact that • In the event that • In view of the fact that
One last bit of advice: Aggressively apply what you know about grammar, punctuation, and word choice. Always read, read, read carefully and slowly through your writing. Finally, a message from Pop Culture (advertising) to send you on your way: “JUST DO IT.”
Reminders: • We are not meeting on Thursday • [ Pass Out Prompt for Reflection Essay] • Follow the prompt carefully. • I will also email you a power point on writing reflectively. • I will see you all again on • TUESDAY, June 2, at 3:00 • Reflection Essays due PRINTED • Extra Credit Presentations
Passing Back Assignments • I am passing back homework assignments, as well as late assignments and essays. • I am ALSO passing back a full grade report to each student. • Your annotated bibliographies will be graded tonight and tomorrow. They are currently listed as “PEN” (Pending) and are not YET calculated into your total grade • Please stay in the room until you get your grade report.
