Listening: Attitudes, Principles, & Skills

1. Listening: Attitudes, Principles, & Skills • Chapter 9 Objectives • After completing this chapter, you will become more aware of: • The importance of listening to family members • The variety of ways you listen to learn • Your responsibility as a listener in presentational speaking situations • How you can derive the most benefit from a coaching relationship • The role you play as a listener in providing help and support • The differences in listening to employees and to your supervisor • How you can facilitate effective group processes through listening • How rumor affects employees’ perceptions

2. Skills of Listening to Your Partner Set aside time to talk Work hard at listening Be direct about your needs and feelings Provide frequent unsolicited positive feedback Be sure you accurately understand Postpone discussions when you are emotional Lend an ear

3. Skills of Listening to Children • Focus on behavior not on judgments of the child • Help her see the consequences of her behavior • Do not fake attention • Avoid giving advice • Consider nonverbal factors • Recognize how mood is affecting his behavior • Design an appropriate environment • Give him your undivided attention • Express frequent unconditional positive regard

4. Memory Concerns Associated with Aging • Concentration is difficult • Takes more memory cues to recall • Memorization strategies more difficult to use • Difficult to multi-task

5. Skills of Listening Across Generations • Communication takes more time • Focus her attention before speaking • Let the person know she is important • Verbalize your feelings • Ask questions • Provide support

6. Skills of Listening Through Social Media • Recognize the amount of time you spend on social media • Make sure you aren’t avoiding other channels • Seek opportunities to share your feelings • Be aware of friends who are isolated • Avoid stress from social media use

7. Skills of Listening in the Classroom • Create two-way communication • Listen to your classmates’ ideas • Sit where it’s easy to listen • Appreciate your instructor as an individual • Share responsibility for classroom management

8. Skills of Listening to Presentations • Prepare to listen • Meet the speaker, personalize • Minimize distractions • Decide whether or not to take notes • Listen for main ideas as well as facts • Determine the speaker’s purpose • Analyze the speaker’s credibility • Analyze the speaker’s use of evidence & logic and reasoning • Focus on the speaker’s meaning • Recognize emotional appeals • Listen to difficult and new material

9. Skills of Listening When Being Coached • Listen for differences in perceptions • Relax • Distinguish facts from opinions • Listen with an open mind • Try out negative inquiry • Acknowledge that you understand before you disagree • Interrupt only if you need clarification • Make a plan for constructive change • Restate agreements • Ask to be revaluated at a later date

10. Responses that Block Authentic Communication Cliches Ignoring Advice Blaming Joking

11. Skills of Listening to a Friend in Trouble • Do not fake empathy • Maintain an unconditional positive regard • Demonstrate calm confidence • Allow your partner to set the direction • Use minimal reinforcers and silence • Observe nonverbal cues • Project an attitude of equality • Listen for information and feelings • Discuss alternatives and options • Create a comfortable environment • Take your time • Encourage the person to check back with you

12. Skills of Listening in Health Care Settings • Perception check • Ask probing questions • Write down important information • Insist that your health care provider give you her undivided attention when giving advice • Create a collaborative relationship

13. Skills of Listening to Employees • Listen to a variety of employees with different viewpoints • Ask probing questions • Avoid making quick judgments • Ask employees for their opinions on how they would solve a problem • Record information • Help employees relax • Hold a brainstorming session • Apply a proven problem solving method

14. Develop a Supportive Communication Climate DEFENSIVE SUPPORTIVE Blame centered Problem centered Attitude of certainty Provisionalism Indifference Empathy You Language I Language

15. Skills of Listening to Facilitate Group Tasks • Listen to determine how much control a team needs • Listen for tangents • Listen for indications of what members need • Provide feedback • Ask probing questions • Don’t interrupt

16. Skills of Listening to Facilitate Group Relationships • Encourage an attitude of acceptance • Notice when members don’t participate • Reduce status differences • Discourage those who are critical • Be spontaneous • Encourage moderate humor • Stress teamwork • Be patient, kind, and flexible • Identify potential conflicts • Assess the appropriateness of the meeting room

17. Skills of Listening to Rumors • Determine whether information is fact or inference • Determine the source of information • Assess the motives that inspired the rumor • Determine the scope of the rumor • Uncover evidence that will prove or disprove • Work with the grapevine, correct any inaccuracies