Ladder of conclusions I act I make conclusions (determine positions) Deduction Induction I study a problem (make suggestions) I select data (what I find important) I study data (what was said and done) Tell about your “ladder of deduction”, encourage the audience to ask questions, help others to tell about their ladder of conclusions
Effective Communication • Communication = Co-education: • Actions that IMPEDE learning : • Let’s say you know everything you need to resolve a problem. • State conclusions as facts • State your views in abstract, meaning-loaded terms • Focus on protecting your views. • Listen to contradict their views. • Set a question into the frames either bad or good. • Grab the information confirming your views.
Effective Communication • Communication=Co-education • Actions contributing to education: • Take into account all the gaps you have. • State conclusions as hypotheses subject to verification. • Defend argumentation and information that lead you to your views. • Question their argumentation and data. • Refrain from condemnation until you understand their viewpoint. • Be competent to express ambitendency. • Be open to information that can change your vies.
Как достичь лучшего взаимопонимания Achieving a Better Understanding Mutual understanding of how to be open of how to feel sympathy To think To listen To ask questions To do
You will be able to act OPENLY if : • You admit that your current perception of a question has flaws • Find your own : • “Blind spot” • Biased opinion • Try to clearly imagine ambiguousness and complexity of position • Avoid simplifying a situation • Do not try to put on confidence Открытость Openness
Причины предвзятоговосприятия Causes of Partisan Perceptions We selectively remember what we want We selectively recall what we have remembered We change our reminiscences according to our preferences Our reminiscences create a basis for perception of a new information that confirms previous opinions
Причиныпредвзятоговосприятия Causes of Partisan Perception We observe and handle information in different ways We have diverse interests We gather evidences that confirm previously formed opinions We ignore or reject data that does not correspond to our opinion We selectively infiltrate information we receive
Dealing with Partisan perceptions • Tune your mind to comprehension • Assume that both we and they reveal partisan perception • Try to understand and show comprehension prior to trying to be understood • Try to achieve “comprehension” by joint efforts • Set yourself up to discussion of various opinions from the very beginning • Perceive interdependence
Как решать проблему предвзятости восприятия Dealing with Partisan perceptions • Look for facts, try to perceive logic • Specify the facts you need; find out what facts interest them • Discuss who each party interprets facts and makes conclusions • Create new views instead of struggling for old ones • Look for the facts that are contradictory to your views as well as to theirs • Avoid being assertive when laying out facts confirming you are right • Lay out facts in a new way
Система Результата/ Намерения The Impact/ Intention System Consequence Intention Result We judge of intentions of others according to their behavior’s impact on us. We often ascribe “the worst intentions” to the other side when we feel aggrieved When we have good intentions we tend to consider the impact as “misunderstanding” or something not significant.
Guilt vs. Involvement Your guilt Move from laying a blame … Your guilt My involvement …to understanding of mutual involvement Your involvement
Sympathy to thoughts of other people is important for understanding a situation • To achieve sympathetic understanding: • Put yourself in someone’s place • What happened to that person? • How did it affect his/her views? • Imagine how the events could have been retold : • What is the other party’s vision of the conflict? • From the perspective of the third party? Empathy / Sympathy
PERCEPTION • CAUTION: • Perception does not mean Consent! • Do not walk back from your current perception – hold to this as a hypotheses • Through the dialog start building new perception in light of what you have learned.
Why it is important to be able to listen Contributes to changes in their relationships Satisfies their key interests – to be listened The best opportunity for you to get them listen to you Improves relationships
Typical thoughts accompanying “listening” • Condemnation • “It is not right to do what you do; and your information is wrong” • Defense • ”Yes, but it’s not my fault!” • Advice offering • ”All this is so obvious you just should do the following…” • Side thoughts • ”Will there be enough food for all guests…”
Goals • Listen and understand others • Help them make sure you understand them • What to do • Make your inner voice “muted” • (do not blame, do not protect yourself, refrain from offering advices) • Listen for the purpose of learning something new • Practice a reverse periphrasis (Perception does not mean consent) • Ask questions – check your assumptions • Listen to your heart and what was left unsaid • Work out your own style Active listening
When to listen to actively Emotional situations Communication is impeded You are not sure you understand They do not listen to you
Balance between protection of a position and statement of explanatory questions Proficiently conducted dialog • Verbalism • excessive didacticism • dictate Protection of a position Low High • Excessive curiousity • compliance • “questioning” • Alerting observancy • to shun a discussion • secrecy Statement of explanatory questions Low High When telling about your “ladder” try to find balance between protection of position and studying the matter; help others do the same
Goals • To find out how the other party looks at things • To get missing information • To help the other party to get heard • Four types of questions • 1. Yes/No Questions: “Do you think the UN has done well?” • 2. Position check Question : “I think everybody will be agree… won’t they?” • 3. Clarifying a position : “What do you mean when speaking of…?” • 4. Open questions: “Would you give your more detailed view on…”, “What made you think that…” Statement of a question
Statement of a question (cont.) • First and second-type questions usually lead to cessation of communication • Third and fourth-type questions open a way to communication • What to do • Ask open questions and questions clarifying the situation. • Avoid questions such as: “Избегайтевопросовтипа: “I think everybody will be agree… won’t they?” • Make questions for the purpose of knowing, not to convince