Week 10

1. Week 10 Essay #3 Feedback Read/Discuss

2. #3 Feedback • Audience? • Company financial officers • Private business owners • Patrons of the arts • Language? • Formal • Not too many “I” stories • Persuasion? • If you invest, our museum will improve further and will continue to provide young artists with solid exhibiting opportunities. • ..will ensure the survival of our role as educator for several years to come. • …for the preservation of important historical documents. • …you will be supporting research opportunities for… • ..with your support, we will be able to educate young people in the importance of tolerance and respect for others. • Please donate to…! Please contribute to

3. Organization • Intro: Hook; name location and type of museum; what famous for up to now; • Thesis statement needs to say why you’re writing: This paper will explain our exhibition, educational and research roles and why your investment/donation would be of great benefit to both you and our museum.

4. Paragraphs #2 #3 and #4 • Topic sentence: • To begin with, … First of all,… our museum offers a wide range of world-class/engaging (use descriptive adjective!!) exhibitions. For example…., Another example is… • then describe each example briefly • concluding sentence: (why they should donate) • Your donation would ensure the survival and expansion of our abilities to provide exhibition space and opportunities to young artists.

5. Conclusion • Brief summary of museum’s roles • Benefits for donors: • name on wall • free membership • free admittance to all classes • contribution to society…make world a better place through awareness of past mistakes and lessons to be learned from history • how to donate!

6. Persuasion • We can’t do it alone! • We need your help to… • Do you want to preserve…? Please contribute to…

7. Plagiarism  • You cannot copy and paste from the website..this is plagiarism • Get the main points and make your own sentences! • By donating to the Museum of…, you will not only be supporting education programs, but will also be training many teachers to improve the way they teach science. • If you donate you will support both educating young students as well as teachers.

8. Correct • _______ Museum was found in 1952. • The ______ Museum was founded in 1952. • We are looking for donators. • We are looking for donors.

9. Avoid Repetition • The Stadt Museum has a 500 year history so a lot of people visit the Stadt Museum. The Stadt Museum is located in Munich and its most famous work is… . The Stadt Museum has over 40,000 pieces on exhibit in the Stadt Museum. • here • It • The museum • leave out

10. Avoid repetition • Our museum is called the Doll Museum. The Doll Museum is located in Gwangju and there are three more museums located in … The Doll Museum in …. . The Doll Museum in … and The Doll Museum in …. . Each museum has its own concept but our museum needs your financial support because our museum is expanding abroad.

11. Avoid repetition • Our museum is called the Doll Museum. It is located in Gwangju yet there are three more museums located in … The Doll Museum in …. . The Doll Museum in … and The Doll Museum in …. . Each museum has its own concept but ours museum needs your financial support because we our museum are expanding abroad.

12. Vocabulary • exhibitions • to exhibit/to display • to donate/give/contribute • be a donor • pieces of artwork/objects • articles • documents • items on display

13. Persuasion • Please donate to…! Please contribute to • We would be extremely grateful for your generous donation. • Please consider making a generous contribution to ensure our continued success.

14. NEVER in essay-writing • From now on I will introduce… • So I will introduce three reasons why… Listen carefully please! • So I’ll explain why you should donate.. • Here goes! • Let’s begin

15. Hooks • MMCA. What is it? • We must never forget our painful history. • “To build a future, you have to know the past.” So said (name) • Today’s society is modern so people want simple and new. • There are many museums in the world but most are suffering from lack of financial support. • ?

16. Flow • To begin with, our museum provides space and opportunity for a variety of exhibitions. ……….. • In addition to our wonderful exhibitions, we also offer several educational programs for students as well as teachers. …… • Finally, our research capabilities ensure we have accurate information in our exhibits and instructional programs. • For you the donor then, what benefits might you receive?

17. What would you do? • In your groups, write down a few examples of people who spoke or acted against injustice. • who helped or intervened in an emergency • or who failed to help in an emergency: • in your neighborhood • at school • in a foreign country • in your own country • on the sportsfield.. • in the workplace…military • in politics… • on college campus.. • in a laboratory..scientists

18. ?’s • What responsibility do journalists/photographers have to help in emergency situations? • Have you ever stood up for what is right, even in a difficult situation? Tell! • What motivated each individual’s actions? • What thoughts went through their minds at the crucial moment? • Do you approve or disapprove of the actions?

19. ?’s • What makes some people do the right thing and others not? • upbringing • situation • self-doubt • ability • prejudice • lack of empathy • presence of others…how is this a factor?

20. Read • Look at the title: • Given our discussion, what do you think the article will be about? • Now scan for: • Main idea..sometimes you can find this in the last paragraph. • Pyramid activity!

21. HW • check wiki • Please read your article. • Write 5 comprehension questions and • 5 discussion questions for Thursday • Fill out the pyramid form!