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Mastering Active vs. Passive Voice in Writing for Clarity and Impact

This workshop focuses on the critical differences between active and passive voice. Participants will learn how active voice enhances clarity and engagement in their writing, as exemplified by straightforward sentences like "George kills Lennie" versus the confusing "George is killed by Lenny." The session encourages the use of active sentences to avoid wordiness and vague constructions, ultimately helping writers express complex ideas more effectively. Join us to refine your writing style and enhance your communication skills.

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Mastering Active vs. Passive Voice in Writing for Clarity and Impact

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  1. Writer’s workshop Using active vs. passive voice

  2. Active voice • In an active sentence, the subjectis doing the action. Example: George kills Lennie.

  3. Passive voice • The target of the action (direct object) gets promoted to subject position. Noooo! • George is killed by Lenny.

  4. So What? • Doesn’t “George is killed by Lennie” sound better in a formal literature response? • Maybe….but the problem is, when you are writing long, complex sentences and you use passive voice, the result is usually a jumble of ideas that could be much more clear by using a straightforward sentence structure with active voice. • In other words: when you are already expressing complex ideas, simple structure is better!

  5. Which one is better? • I heard it through the grapevine. • It was heard by me from the grapevine.

  6. Sometimes passive voice is awkward and other times it’s vague. • Also, passive voice is usually wordy, so you can tighten your writing if you replace passive sentences with active sentence.

  7. Which sentence is better? • George ended up killing Lennie. Some people think this is unfair but I believe that George killing Lennie is totally justified. • George ended up killing Lennie. Some people think this is unfair but I believe that George was totally justified in killing Lennie. • At the end, George feels he has no choice except to kill Lennie. Although some readers may perceive this act as unfair, I believe that George’s final action was completely justified.

  8. How can you improve the following sentence? • Lennie being killed was an inevitable conclusion, because no matter what he would have gotten killed whether by George or Curley.

  9. Let’s write it in active voice: Before: • Lenniebeing killed was an inevitable conclusion, because no matter what he would have gotten killed whether by George or Curley. After: • It was inevitable that Lenny would be killed at the end, because he would have been killed either by George or by Curly.

  10. Better? What about: Before: • Lennie being killed was an inevitable conclusion, because no matter what he would have gotten killed whether by George or Curley. After: • It was inevitable that Lenny would be killed at the end, because he would have been killed either by George or by Curly. And now: Curly wanted Lennie dead, and George felt that that killing Lennie was the only reasonable choice. Therefore, Lennie’s death by his friend’s hand was an inevitable conclusion.

  11. One more: • Lennie is a simple man and loves to pet soft things as evidenced by him petting mice and puppies throughout the novella.

  12. Which one is better? • Lennie is a simple man and loves to pet soft things as evidenced by him petting mice and puppies throughout the novella. • Lennie is a simple man and throughout the novella, it is evident that he loves to pet soft things such as mice and puppies.

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