Isn’t it sad how much time we spend putting ourselves down? If we had a nickel for every time we felt inferior, stupid, unattractive, or unworthy, most of us would be millionaires. We land on this Earth full of exuberance and wonder. All we need is a little food, a little comfort, and a clean bottom. But if we are deprived of those things, or if later on we are told we don’t measure up in some way, we learn to feel “less than.” With enough negative reinforcement from others and ourselves, we become trained to see only our flaws and failures. Everything else fades into the background or has just a fleeting positive impact on our self-esteem. If we’ve become trained to feel bad about ourselves, is it possible to retrain ourselves to feel good? Can we unlearn old beliefs and refocus our attention to see our own beauty and worthiness? Yes, yes, yes! • YOU can also use some of the thoughts shared here to create yourNEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS !
It is not only possible, it’s imperative for our mental and physical health. Our well-being and happiness hinge on our ability to have positive self-esteem. We desperately long for for an exit ramp out of the land of self-loathing. Fortunately, our minds and hearts are malleable, and we can learn to love and accept ourselves. It is exhausting to live up to illusory expectations and disappointments. But with a combination of positive thought and positive action, you can lead yourself out of the dark side and into the light. As with any new skill or new habit, you must start small and practice regularly. It may feel unnatural at first, but as you change your thoughts and actions, your feelings will follow. You don’t have to wait to start feeling good about yourself. You can start with small, simple actions every day that will help you see yourself for the awesome and amazing person you are.
1. Call your mother. For most of us, this is the person who loves us the most and has our back. Ask her for some positive words. If not mom, then call that someone who is your support person.
2. Look in the mirror Instead of finding your physical flaws, look at your best features. Your eyes? Your hair? Your smile? Focus on that for a minute and be grateful for it.
3. Write a love note. Let someone you care about know how you feel. Spill your guts. Be mushy. Sharing your love makes you feel lovable.
4. List your accomplishments Go on, write them down. Everything from winning the spelling bee to completing a project on time. Write down anything you can think of that you feel proud about. Look at you
5. Clear your desk. It clears your brain. It helps you think and opens the creative channels. Now you’re buzzing. And you have a nice clean desk.
6. Do 5 minutes of exercise. Yes, 5 minutes. It’s not intimidating, but it will get the ball rolling. Even a little bit of exercise will boost your energy and could be the start of a routine for you.
7. Meditate or pray Go within. Let your ego drop away. Just be and step outside of self-judgement for a few minutes.
8. Fix your hair and make-up. Darn if it doesn’t make you feel better. When you look your best, you see yourself differently.
9. Apologize If you’ve done something wrong, apologize. Guilt and shame are such unhealthy emotions. Take care of this right away.
10. Find something to give away. If you have something you don’t need or use, and it might be something someone else might need or use, give it to them. It feels good — like good Karma.
11. Lift someone’s spirits You can turn around bad feelings about yourself right away when you channel your energy into making someone feel good about themselves. It’s crazy how that works.
12. Change one thing If there’s something really bothering you about yourself, then pick one small action to change it and do that now. Go ahead. Just a little thing.
13. Write an affirmation Find the thing that makes you feel really lousy about yourself. Now turn it around and state the opposite. There IS truth in the opposite. So write that down and repeat it until you believe it. Carry it around with you.
14. Dance in front of a mirror How can you feel bad about yourself when you are dancing in front of the mirror? I mean really, just look at yourself.
15. Phone a friend. What are friends but walking, talking antidepressants? One dose of friend a day, and you are good to go!
16. Talk to yourself (like a friend) No friends home? Then be your own friend. How would a friend talk to you about your perceived faults? Have that conversation with yourself, and be a really loving supportive friend.
17. Follow through with a promise If you’ve made a commitment, do it today. Get it off your plate. It feels good to be reliable
18. Compare yourself Look around you. You have more than most. You have many good things. Much of the world lives in abject poverty and suffering
19. Don’t compare yourself. But don’t compare yourself to the 1% of the population (or less) than might have more or look better or seem smarter. Focus on your full cup
20. Write a vision. If you want to feel good about yourself every day for the rest of your life, then write out a plan for that. What is your life vision? Start writing it down.
21. Relive your best memory Pull up a wonderful, happy memory and take a few minutes to dwell on it. Go through all of the details and feel the feelings you had then. Now there’s a little boost for you
22. Feed the birds. Go get a piece of bread and walk outside and feed those birdies. They will love you. You will be their little birdie god. They will sing your praises. It’s nice to be a bird deity
23. Make your bed. You have a neat bed. It makes your room look neat. You are a neat person. So feel good about that.
24. Praise your children Sometimes when we feel bad about ourselves, we take it out on our children. Don’t do that. Lift them up. Tell them everything you wanted to hear as a child.
25. Hug someone. Hugs are magical feel-good potions that infuse us with joy. If you have time, hug someone for the entire day. If not, just once will do.
26. Smile Just the act of smiling tells your brain you are happy. Really. Try it.
27. Visualize loving kindness. This is a Buddhist meditation that helps you have compassion and selfless love for yourself and others.
28. Turn of the computer and connect. It’s hard to feel warm fuzzies about yourself when your only companion is a computer screen. Go find a living, breathing person and interact with them. They may say something nice to you.
29. Give just a bit more today Today, go above and beyond. Do just a bit more with something at work or at home. Give more than is expected.
30. Adjust your expectations You don’t have to be perfect or near perfect. You can screw up and still be just fine.
31. Let someone else decide Relinquish responsibility to someone else every now and then. They can be right or in the spotlight, and you can let them. That’s OK.
32. Offer your seat Isn’t it nice to see someone do that for a lady, or an elderly person, or a pregnant woman? Doesn’t it seem gracious and kind? Do it if you have the chance.
33. Sow peace Find a way today to create peace. Negativity is all around. Sprinkle peace over it.
34. Hold your tongue Don’t say it. You may want to. You may have the right to. But just smile instead.
35. Change your self-talk Be a detached observer of the things you are saying to yourself. Change your words to words of loving kindness
36. Pretend. Don’t feel great about yourself? Pretend that you do. Act like you do. Pretty soon you really will.
37. Plan a party. Parties are fun. People like parties. People like the people who throw parties. It doesn’t have to be a big one. Just get fun people together.
38. Balance your checkbook I know, yuck. But it’s important, so get it out of the way, and you’ll feel better.
39. Choose healthy If you have a choice between healthy and unhealthy today, choose healthy. That’s a positive thing.
40. Define your integrity What does integrity mean to you? Write it down. Are you living in it?
41. Do something out of the box Shake things up a bit. Change your routine. Try something new. It will make you feel like a mover and shaker.
42. Appreciate beauty. It’s all around you. Just look for it. When you see it on the outside, you may feel it on the inside. Beauty is catching.
43. Show humility Bask in just knowing your own greatness inside without the need to have it reinforced publicly.
44. Share some wisdom. Your life experiences have taught you many things. Share what you’ve learned with others in a way that is useful.
45. Read something uplifting Divert your mind from negative thinking. Find a great book that will inspire and uplift you.
46. Surprise someone Do something fun and unexpected for someone you care about. Just planning this will life your spirits.