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M en A gainst V iolence. A non-profit men’s program committed to helping men age 16 and older stop violence to themselves, their intimate partners, their families and their communities. History.

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m en a gainst v iolence

Men Against Violence

A non-profit men’s program committed to

helping men age 16 and older stop violence

to themselves, their intimate partners, their

families and their communities.

history

History

The MAV program uses the Manalive curriculum originally designed in 1980. Today the program has expanded to the communities of San Francisco, Marin, Sacramento, Placer, and Nevada counties. The Manalive model is used in San Quentin State Prison, as well as the Marin, San Francisco and Sacramento county jails.

penal code

Penal Code

The Manalive curriculum was used as the

model for State Assembly Bill 226 which

defined the parameters for all batterer’s

intervention programs (BIP) statewide.

solution

Solution

We provide a structured environment where men can re-educate themselves to live a non violent life.

Awareness + Action = Change

a 52 week three stage program

A 52 Week Three Stage Program

First Stage

Stopping My Violence To My Partner

Second Stage

Coming Back to Your Authentic Self

Third Stage

Creating a Fulfillment Plan

first stage

First Stage

Stopping My Violence To My Partner

accountability

Accountability

It’s the first step to stop your

violence, and the first agreement

we ask the men to make:

“I agree that I am violent to myself and others.”

types of violence

Types of Violence

Emotional

(Space, Time, Energy, Material)

Verbal

(Trivialize, Thingify, Threaten)

Physical

(To / Around)

Sexual

legal system transformation

Legal System Transformation

New Policies Being Enforced

Towards Domestic Violence

Zero Tolerance

Pro­Arrest

Dominant Aggressor

off the focus

Off the Focus

Denial

Blame

Minimize

Collude

impact of domestic violence

Impact of Domestic Violence

Partner

Children

Family/Community

Self

gender based analysis

Gender Based Analysis

Patriarchal, Cultural and Conditioning

“Men are superior over others, including other men.”

why i become violent

Why I Become Violent?

Enforcing the Male Role Belief System of Being Superior Over My Partner

* Remove the Mystery of Your Violence

* Violence is a Method I Use to Make Me Feel

Like a “Real Man”

* A Method of Getting Your “MRBS” Needs

Fulfilled

the male role belief system

The Male Role Belief System

Feel

Act

Communicate

Think

Sex

Training Beliefs

Get love and respect if we stay in our box.

Get love and respect if we make sure she stays in her box.

Feel

Act

Communicate

Think

Sex

the male role belief system15

The Male Role Belief System

Feel

Act

Communicate

Think

Sex

My Role

Acting the part of a Real Man

Being who I have been trained to be

Training

Conscious / Unconscious

I am Superior

She Holds Up Your Box

Her job is to make me feel like the man I have to be.

Feel

Act

Communicate

Think

Sex

fatal peril

Fatal Peril

Deadly Fear of Image Dying

False Alarm

Body Signs

Tense

Tightness

Contraction

Head Tapes

Story

Feelings

fatal peril17

Fatal Peril

Use of Violence

Force partner back in the box

Subtle

Escalate

Intimidate

Coerce

Abuse

new coping skills

New Coping Skills

Learning New Actions and Communication Skills That Takes Us Out Of The Box To Connect Safely

My Partner

Nurturing Myself

Taking Care of My Needs

All In A Peaceful Way!

tools for building intimacy

Tools for Building Intimacy

The 4 A’s

Attention

Acceptance

Appreciation

Affection

tools for building intimacy20

Tools for Building Intimacy

QTIP = Quit Taking It Personally

What others say is a projection of their own reality.

Based on their past experiences, their interpretation of now or their imagined future.

When you are immune to your “MRBS” trainingyou won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

peace maker

Peace Maker

No matter what she does… No matter how she does it

No matter what she says… No matter how she says it

No matter what she thinks… No matter what I think

No matter what she feels... No matter what I feel

It’s up to me to create peace ...

peace maker cont

Peace Maker (cont.)

It’s up to me to create peace ...

In my heart, with my partner, and in my home

No matter what

I will shift my energy, relax my body, replace my thoughts, and connect safely.

stage 2

Stage 2

Don’t Forget Stage 1

Come Back to Your Authentic Self

your shift occurs when you learn

Your Shift Occurs When You Learn…

How To Be Authentically Human In

Seeing Her and Seeing Yourself

As EQUAL

As VALUABLE

As POWERFUL

To Shift Your Beliefs Based on Fear, Blame, Judgment, and Victim

the shift of perception

The Shift of Perception

My Perspective Changes…

to one of equality

Perspective Changes…

Changes my story

Different Perspective…

Creates a different me

the shift of perception con t

The Shift of Perception (con’t)

My Partner Is Free To Pursue In the Style and Timing of Her Choosing

Her LIFE

Her LIBERTY

Her HAPPINESS

Her SAFETY

discover your authentic self con t

Discover Your Authentic Self(con’t)

Soften Yourself

Relax Your Body

Replace Your Hit-Man’s Story

discover your authentic self con t28

Discover Your Authentic Self(con’t)

Stop – Look – Listen… From your heart

Declare and Respect Boundaries

Conscious Breath, Conscious Choice

Blow out the candles / Smell the roses

discover your authentic self con t29

Discover Your Authentic Self(con’t)

Identify Feelings Under Anger

Fear

Sadness

Pain

Express Safely

style and timing is critical

Style and Timing Is Critical

Authentic Self

- Sincere and Honest

- Gentle

- Adaptable

- Patient

- Ability to stand under your own and other’s

experiences with empathy and compassion to

connect safely

choose skills that work for any situation

Choose Skills that Work for any Situation

Compassion

Empathy

Love

Respect

stage 3

Stage 3

Create a Self Fulfillment Plan

&

Restore Intimacy

rescue triangle co dependency

Rescue TriangleCo-Dependency

Rescue

Victim

Perpetrator

creating fulfillment

Creating Fulfillment

Without depending on others…

Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, Money, etc.

tools for restoring intimacy

Tools for Restoring Intimacy

Create Balance Through: Exercise, Diet, Sleep, Positive Thinking and Spirituality

12 Step Programs, Support Groups, Parenting Classes, Self-Help Classes and Community Service

tools for creating a self fulfillment plan

Tools for Creating a Self Fulfillment Plan

Fascination

When I Can Choose Fascination In Every Situation

Negotiate

When I Can Negotiate Safely With My Partner

Collaborate

When I Can Collaborate As An Equal

Manifestation

When I can allow our efforts to Manifest freely

Celebrate

When I Can Celebrate The Love and the Power Of Each Of Us