A Proper Apologia Should Always Include: • a detailed account of the situation • acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done • recognition of your role in the event • a defense of your actions
A Detailed Account of the Situation: • By giving a detailed account of the offense, you are making sure that both you and the other person are talking about the same thing. • It also legitimizes the feelings of the recipient by having the person who caused the offense recount the situation. • Be specific as possible and your apology should be focused on the particular event(s). • Example: if you missed a important date (event), don’t apologize for your general absentmindedness but instead for missing that specific date.
Acknowledgement of the hurt or damage done: • By acknowledging the hurt or damage done, you’re are validating their feelings and the recipient begins to sense that you understand the situation. • This is important to rebuilding your relationship because it legitimizes their reaction, even if others in the same situation may have reacted differently.
Recognition of Your Role in the Event: • Acknowledge that your role in the event was significant. Do not try to deny that you played a part in the hurtful actions of the event. • Own up to your responsibility in the issue.
A Defense of Your Actions • Explain the necessity or logic behind your actions. Include evidence that proves you acted in a way that was right for the situation even though someone may find fault in your actions.
Using the Rhetorical Triangle • Purpose: The reason you must defend your actions. • Speaker: The persona you wish to portray through the defense. • Audience: The person most affected by your actions. • Subject: The detailed account of the event. • Warrant: The underlying assumptions in your argument. • Context: The background surrounding the event. • Intention: The expected result of the defense.
Write a plan for your Speech. Include: Organization: Where will you establish credibility? Appeals: Where will you place your appeals? Evidence: What is your evidence and where will you place it? Rhetorical Devices: Where can you place rhetoric that sounds natural?